it is now tuesday, monday was labor day, sunday was the lord's day (so of course nothing was open), saturday was racking up sins to repent on lord's day day, friday was blissful respite from work. actually i worked this weekend, friday, saturday, sunday, monday which, theoretically means i made some money. guess we'll see.

SMEAT! and Mess came up for the long weekend, SMEAT! had to do some work for this guy in Fergus Falls, which he intended to do monday, dunno' if he ever actually did. Was pretty cool, friday we went out to TGI Friday's or "Fucking Friday's" if you're anyone i hang out with, which on friday included SMEAT!, Mess, darthmullet, and Beth. Beth isn't 21 but they never card us there (because they like us) so she naturally came along to drink a couple of Ultimates that happened to be bigger than she was (she's only like 25 lbs.). SMEAT! and darthmullet proceeded to get totally fucking trashed, and therefore sick the following day (actually after SMEAT! ate he was fine) i was the designated driver since i was playing host and had to work at 0700, Mess went about getting drunk but wasn't boisterous about it, and as usual we accrued a $40 tab from about $80 worth of liquor. like i said: they fucking like us...

saturday sucked, darthmullet ditched us at the last minute so then we just moped around for a bit, then ordered a piece of shit from Papa John's, and had some NewCastle. So one can get a large one topping pizza from Papa John's for $7.49, but a large Vegge' pizza there costs $14.99, sure the one topping is a "college trash special" but still.... something eludes me...

sunday SMEAT! Mess and i went to see "Jay and Silent Bob Return," which was an alright movie playing at one of the monopolist screens here in fargo. Movie was alright, but not very impressive, stupidly funny, like most commedies that are released, otherwise the humor would elude 99% of the population and those hollywood fucks wouldn't be able to hire million dollar hookers. Maybe we'll post a review or something on FTM, we'll see. After the movie Jesse, his wife Holly, darthmullet, Beth, and the three of us hooked up for supper, wine, and good company. goddamn blood-red steak is fucking awesome! especially with blood-red wine, damn i should fucking cook for just myself tonight. UAIOEand his wife Anne were thinking about coming over too, but of course followed history and ditched us. so get this, Nate, who used to be one of my very best friends no longer really talks to us (we used to all be more or less best friends) and it turns out him and Anne totaled their car, and he got fired and i never heard about it. what the fuck is up with that? we live in the same fucking town, i go to school about a block from his appartment, they know our fucking phone number, i've known him for 15 years etc etc, what the fuck? he's too busy masturbating to Diablo II or what? That and his ditching to hanging with us ratio is about 38:1. Kind of pisses me off, especially with his stupid fucking me out of my videocard for $20 antics. "Oh it's alright, tid242 works 80 hours/week so he can afford to put down $100 on a new vidcard, so i can trade his to some guy for a $20 stick of RAM." it always seems like he's too lazy, or preoccupied, or whatever to ever be proactive in doing anything, especially when it has to do with sticking up for people that stick up for him. We used to always feed them, invite them over, make efforts to hang with them etc. we've generally recieved none of the same in return. When the two of them got married as their wedding gift i wrote off the $250 he owed me, in return? i recieved -1*(videocard) in return. Maybe we're not friends anymore or something? i wouldn't know because i doubt he'd let me in on that bit of knowledge, not that it would be any of my buisness or anything...

in other news bewitched is in Rochester (Mn) visiting her husband-to-be, who is enrolled in the med school there, sounds like a smart guy right? maybe he is, doesn't act much like it though. anyway i took the MCAT and all that shit (no results yet), but does anyone else out there think doctors are a bunch of fucking babies? maybe not when they get out into practice, then they're egophiles, but med students are a bunch of conforming little suck-up whiners, and the most important thing in the world is? art and culture?-no, the Tech. Revolution!?-no, the Freeware movement?-no, Human rights legislation around the world?-no, Feeding people in our most impovereshed nations?-no silly it's looking good on a CV so your friends and family have something to brag about. there's something inherently wrong with our system of glorifying those who do the very least for humanity, yet somehow are made out to be great advancers of our peoples by our sick and twisted society. don't get me wrong MDs do a lot on a micro level, but they seem to not get much done on a macro level. i guess in this sense they're better than politicians and cops (who are on the bottom of the totem pole under lawers, and shit, and above that feeling you get when someone tells you he/she doesn't love you anymore) who are like doctors in that they're supposed to be doing something, but instead masturbate under their desks and build CVs all day, in the case of cops sodomizing minorities with broomsticks and hitting on teenie boppers. but MDs come nowhere near philosophers and humanitarianists in their contribution to our species. MDs are devices for the now, the truely important are devices for the future.

hmmm... sure hope no one i know reads this.

if you were to rank the all the idiots you know, who would be first? if i said George W Bush would that be alright, i mean do i actually have to know him, or would it be just to just judge him by his lack of vocabulary, obvious corporate rapist tactics, and "christian character?" would the idea of ranking idiots that you know be an oxymoron? i mean how many people do you really get to know after you find they're total fucking morons? this is why i don't know that my list would be very long, i mean, sure, there are some really stupid people around, but like i take the time to get to know any of them... i think i'd put good ol' G-double-yah Busch light as number 1!

guess i don't have too much else to say, i think i'm going to be single forever, and america sucks.

is it illegal for a non-profit organization to discriminate based upon religious, racial or sexual grounds? could i try to join the KKK and then sue them because they wouldn't let a Japanese guy in? darthmullet's mom got excommunicated from the fucking catholic church because she got a divorce, could she sue them?- i mean who'd want to, you'd have to see them in court and talk to those catholic bastards and stuff...but still? i thought discrimination was illegal. on the same grounds could i be sued for expressing viewpoints degrading various religious factions on my website. i mean it's MINE if someone doesn't like it they can fuck off, it's totally easy. i mean restaurants cannot hang signs outside that say "no niggers, chinks or spics allowed in our white restraunt" it's illegal. what if i had banner adds and were making a profit, how would that be any different than a restaurant that required customers to say "i hereby sell all rights to my soul to satan?" i'm sure i know absolutely shit about the law, but interesting nonetheless.



it's been a while, it always seems to be a while between entries, as always nothing happens, yet everything happens. nothing to say, yet so much to tell i couldn't possibly have the time, nor could you read it all...

i don't even remember the last time i updated this thing, today is september 13, 2001. two days ago it was september 11, 2001, 45 hours ago it was prox. september 11, 2001 08:30. i nor we do not yet know the ramifications of the events of two days ago, nor will we until perhaps 5-10 years down the road. on september 11, 2001 at about 08:30 terrorists hijacked four airplains and crashed 2 of them into the twin towers of the world trade center located in southern manhatan (NYNY), one of them into the pentagon, and the last outside of Pitsburg. as of right now i have little comment on the events, too much speculation and public comment already litters the news and media. i will say however that these attacks are a picture of the future of warfare, warfare perhaps in a civilized world. no longer will the united states view threats to national security as rogue nations made of mortar and brick, the enemies of tomorrow are the elitist few, that exist in shadow, and cyberspace and urban centers will be their battlefields, nor will cookie-cutter warfare contine to exist. certain power, or percieved power will be shifted from the goliaths to the davids, only the small, agile, and inventive will survive. our undeservingly elected president has announced that we, as a country (so apparently me too) are viewing the terrorist attack as an act of war. what specific entity we are declaring war on is still unknown, how war will be waged against whatever entity we decide to pass the blame onto is also unknown, whether a war can be fought against an elusive few, again, is unknown. the feeling of retaliation is pushing misplaced follies, exactly as any terrorist would wish. we, as a nation, are stupid and fickle. things right now are in a state of being unresolved, i am not exactly sure why we are making fundimental decisions on our global policy right now. 15-day wait for buying a handgun and we are deciding shit 12 hours after the fact? something eludes me, and i don't think it's reason.

when listening to the reports on the radio the other day i was overcome with a great sadness for the events that have recently occured, i am not an emotional person, and holistically, well, who knows....time flows unrelenting, life goes on, but i felt much sympathy for those who suddenly lost those they cared about. i still feel much sympathy for those who do not yet have closure, like all the things i should have said to my mother, but never did, and now she is no longer here. they holding onto their fleeting abstract rays of hope wishing for the best, but reality points in the opposite direction, then they, like i will wish they had done things in the past differently, said things, been kinder, gentler, realized what it was they had, but didn't seem to appreciate. and realize that there is no retribution, retaliation is seemingly pointless, frivilous, the past behind, the future ahead, and no amount of blame or punishment can make those lost exist in both dimentions. nothing can bring them back. nothing can change what happened.

that is all



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