well, well, well. What's been happening?-everything, yet nothing.

A quick catch-up:

  • done "working" at the White Drug in W. Fargo since 2 weeks ago from yesterday (last day = 20020703) so that's fucking nice.
  • i am now "working" at MeritCare, which is a hospital here in town, it's MUCH better than White Drug, man i hate retail pharmacy... but anyway meritcare's zipping right along, almost done with week 2 (of 6) already, wow. The hours are pretty sweet (7-1530 w/ 1 hour lunch) and the stuff i'm doing there is actually interesting. i followed an ID doctor around the other day, which really got me started thinking about again but damn, that'd be 4 years + 5 years post, so another 10 years of school, ugh... plus accruing $150k in debt, i did the math and i could save up almost $500k by that time if we see a 10-year period of typical market yields (10% per annum) if i can manage to live cheap and put $30k away every year, which shouldn't be a prob. If the new 401k limit laws remain in effect and i have good employer contribution-matching, but we'll see. Financially i'd come out way ahead by not going to additional school unless i end up working into my 70's, which may seem counter-intuitive, but that's the way it works sometimes - if i could get someone to pay for my school and expenses maybe it'd be a different story.
  • these past weekends i've been spending most of my time in the ottertail county area of MN, mostly at the lakes: we spent the 4th at darthmullet's stepdad's farm, spent the weekend before that in Minneapolis for a KMFDM + PIG + Kidney Thieves concert, although we didn't actually get to see Kidney Thieves because the venue/ticket_master fucked us so as they were done playing by the time we showed up for the show "starting." Anyway the weekend before that fantabulous_fun got married!-to Katy of course, so that was pretty cool. and other than that weekends have been mostly kept pretty busy. It's been nice.
  • i move to Chicago in less than 1 month, i will live there for 3 months.

guess that's about it for quick stuff... but here's the details of the wedding:
fantabulous_fun and Katie (no pseudonym yet) got married on June 28th (Friday) in a small town outside of Fergus Falls (Elizabeth). It was a pretty nice wedding, very small, i don't think there were more than 100 people there for the ceremony, so i was more-or-less honored to have been one of the 'elite.' When the ceremony first started i couldn't figure out who the hell the priest was, and then he was acting all funny about the shit, and we're all thinking: "who the hell is this guy and what the fuck is wrong with him?" but it turned out to be Katie's grandfather, which explained a lot of why he kept talking about her when she was really young, and made the service a lot more cute, and a lot less disturbing... a shitload of people showed up for the reception though (like several hundred), and an ass-load of those people went to the dance afterward at the Eagles which is a club-house in Fergus Falls shaped like a ship. The dance was alright even though the DJ was a complete and utter fat piece of shit, man the guy was a dumb-ass, he played absolutely shitty music (which is acceptable for the wedding crowd in and of itself, but) tried to run the show by disallowing us from stealing Katie for about 15 minutes to get her liquored up at an area bar, disallowed the girls from taking fantabulous_fun out for the same purpose, refused to play requests, then turned the volume way-down when we made him play a KMFDM song. UAIOE was talking about him with me outside later in the night saying that this DJ used to go out to white-fucking-trash-mart (walmart) looking for 'hot CDs' for his DJ service. What a dumb-ass. Apparently he purchased all of his equipment from subgenious' dad though, which is cool. i have to figure out what that guy's name is though so i can recommend against him for anyone doing google.searches for: 'DJ service Fergus Falls' 'DJ Fergus Falls' or ' Fergus Falls DJs.'
otherwise the wedding was very nice.

in terms of intrinsic productivity i've really slowed down with my writings, i think it's mostly just because it's summertime and i'm in a very non-academic setting right now, i have started writing a little bit of poetry again, but this is my first diary entry in, shit, over a month in any event. As you can tell by the updates (or lack thereof) i haven't been doing too much in this respect either. right now i'm planning on doing a major site overhaul, so the next release will be v.o.2.2.7 (tentatively). There are several reasons for this, but most importantly is the fact that isn't really meant to be a blog, but this is the direction it is taking on in its current form. So i'm ditching the familiar faces section, and am thinking about changing the name of daily musings to just diary, but am not overly sure about that last part yet... also is fragmented; light, dark, line (has anyone even 'found' the line section yet?) and as mess once told me: my light section isn't very 'light' and sometimes she's scared that if she reads it too much she might start thinking like me, so i'm sure other people feel the same. This fragmentation has been a big disincentive for me to do what i want to do: just write-as i have to 'choose' whether to write in either of 2 different mediums. The new layout will be much better, much more cohesive, and make it much more apparent that this site simply exists as a pet-project of mine for writing and self-discovery. As i said i've started writing poetry again, not heavily like i do while in my manically unhappy mode, but just a piece or so a day. i wrote a piece entitled "Nothing, is sexy" after i sort of hooked up with one of my classmates (nope, nothing inappropriate) and was actually motivated enough to feel, and write about it. i'm not really sure what's happening with this 'relationship' however as i haven't talked to her in 3 weeks, she moved to Podunk, ND for 6 weeks, and isn't overly extroverted to begin with... hmmm.... we'll see anyway, but i've been somewhat interested in her for quite a while.

in other news darthmullet and i are heading down to the Mankey Village this weekend, a bunch of people are going to be installing a window in the basement, and celebrating t-dogg's birthday on Saturday, kind of weird i always thought t-dogg was older than he is, but he's just turning 23... anyway that should be a grand ol' time... i've started working at the hospital (not merit-scare, but the hospital i used to work at) again, just 3 days this week, but i gives me some income, so maybe i'll actually get to spend some bread while i'm there.

well isn't this just the way it works, i get up early (0200, ha!-beat that! (actually i slept from 1900-0200, so i'm not totally psycho)) and it's already time to start getting ready and shit for work, damn the man.



for once in my lazy life i've gotten up early... actually the truth of the matter is that i went to sleep at around 19oo, which might better explain my o4oo arising. As always my life is slow, dull and boring. One of the good things about working all the different places that i have been (i'm on my 3rd separate site now), has been to realize that i either need to work before o7oo or i need to work overnights, either that or i need to reset my clock somehow, working later than o7oo just takes too much of a chunk out of the day, but more importantly than that it makes me fucking tired. When i worked at o9oo at the other place, man, i couldn't fucking do anything else-the job sucked ass too, so i suppose that didn't help much in that respect either.

i guess this week's almost over, which is a nice thing, no idea what the hell i'm going to do with myself this weekend, maybe it'll be a moving weekend, i need to bring a whole bunch more of my shit back to Fergus Falls and change my oil and do fun stuff like that. This past weekend all the Mankeys installed an egress window at the village sat/sun, stayed in on fri, and went out for t-dogg's birthday to Gasthof (i finally figured out how to spell the fucker; gastov's gustov's gustof's gastolf's etc, etc...) which was, of course, pretty decent. Apparently for the past couple of months the bar's had a DJ there, it was alright, a bit different, but alright nonetheless. It seems like they're getting a bit away from the techno-ized polka and playing some more mainstream-type stuff there, which i'm not so sure about (because 99% of mainstream sucks, which is why we were fucking going to Gasthof's in the first place), but just so long as the bar maintains it's German air about it we should be content, in our discontent way...

so as i've been intending i suppose i'll post the month's end top search page-bringing-hits. They're not as funny as they have been, no one looking for Fergus Falls porn rings or their ilk, just erotic stories from the village...

Top 20 of 20 Total Search Strings
# Hits Search String
1 2 9.52% syrdiks
2 1 4.76% 350z news or reviews or test -kit -sale -forums -prices -toys -
3 1 4.76% alcoholic talk
4 1 4.76% austin-martin car
5 1 4.76% bank of islamcaribou coffee
6 1 4.76% bismark north dakota hyundai
7 1 4.76% brad mahoney
8 1 4.76% coorslight image
9 1 4.76% daddy's little fuck
10 1 4.76% disresponsive
11 1 4.76% double declutching heel toe
12 1 4.76% fading changing image
13 1 4.76% gastofs minneapolis
14 1 4.76% hcl infinite global line 2300 drivers
15 1 4.76% highest state of alert apparel
16 1 4.76% kmfdm uaioe mp3
17 1 4.76% lutia image
18 1 4.76% sexy 72f sized breasts
19 1 4.76% skinny puppy's high school girl part 5
20 1 4.76% tequelasong

commentary: i feel sorry for the person that's looking at buying a Hyundai in Bismark (the basswards capital of ND, i get to live there late next year, so i'm sure you'll get a sweet commentary from the trenches...), why don't you go to a real city and buy a real car instead? - but all and all got 4 car related hits out of 20, that's 20%, weird, and i don't even write about cars on here... even got a hit for heel-toe double declutching, that should have an obvious definition provided the searcher knows what a heel and a toe is... oh yea, and synchromesh ...

|[gasthof Minneapolis is here, it's in the basement of Mario's]| (i generally don't link to outside pages, if it's broken, i don't want to hear about it)

apparently i'll also know who the person is who was looking for 'highest state of alert apparel' when i see him/her, reminds me of that clothing company that was making prison-issue look-alike jumpsuits and selling them for like $200, until their patrons started getting beat up by cops. If police brutality isn't all-American, i don't know what is, honestly if a 16-year old special education Donovan Jackson driving his father's grocery-getter isn't worthy of a good ol' fashioned police-administered punch in the face, then nothing is... fucking shit, if we want people to be interpreting and enforcing the law (really what's the difference on the street, one must interpret on the fly in order to enforce) don't you think we would also want people that aren't completely violent maniacs doing it?-or at least require their IQs to be above 60... but like anything, if it's worth doing in America, it's worth doing half-ass. Just like GM, let's cut all standard ABS and side-impact airbags from all of our cars (except Saab and Cadillac (honestly since when did Saab and Cadillac even come close to the same class?-gosh, should i buy a 9-3 Vigen or a fat piece of shit, lemme' think...) and have them as options, but then charge more for these options than the price we charged for them as standard items... you know GM as spent forever making seat-belts miserable because they felt that if the public hated them enough the laws mandating their installation in cars would be repealed, saving them $50/car, that's why 80's (and some 90's!!!-actually they could still be doing for the fuck all i know; i try to trust my life solely in the hands of companies located outside the US) model GM products still had those shitty strangle-locking seatbelts even when inertia-driven units were industry standard. Dumb-asses.

anyway, i'm supposed to be reading lots of shit and being productive, but these past two days i've just slept, sleeping is just too easy, just close my eyes and then it's the next day when i open them again. But i just purchased two books from; the future of spacetime which pbs told me was awesome, and shadows of forgotten ancestors which some random /. poster had recommended. So i've those to read, 1oo pages of the Economist every week, 1oo pages of CAR every month, some packet about South Africa, 1oo pages of EID every month, TIME every week (which takes all of 5 minutes), i'm still meaning to read all those 'learn Italian' books, but have been putting it off, i'm also supposed to read Anarci's poetry book, but i'm only half-way through, and the list goes on... also i need to finish this update before i move to Chicago in 3 weeks, and also figure out wtf i'm going to do as far as a computer goes while i'm there, working on getting a laptop, but they're all fucking over-priced... but i suppose i only have a couple of hours left of work for and i can release the new version...i would also like to spend more time writing... i think i need more Coffee in my life...

there's been some talk about getting all the mankeys together online to play Neverwinter Nights (NWN), so after 3 video cards i finally got it running, except.... it randomly crashes, hard.-it takes down the OS with it... this is a huge disincentive to play the game, and i actually just uninstalled it so i could DL a DivX of Y Tu Mama Tambien, which i really want to see but none of the fucking video stores in Fargo seem to think it's worth carrying so i can spend my money on it, bastards. If i liked it i would just buy the DVD, except how can i know if i'm going to like it if i can't ever actually watch it? beside the point of me not having a DVD player, i'd get a DVD player except i don't want to give any of my money to the asshole companies that are associated with DVDs, nor am i a big fan of the MPAA, why? Because they're all trying to keep my from downloading movies that i don't otherwise have rental access to because i've read reviews suggesting i might like to own a copy (ie purchase it). does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?

There has grown up in the minds of certain groups in this country the notion that because a man or corporation has made a profit out of the public for a number of years, the government and the courts are charged with the duty of guaranteeing such profit in the future, even in the face of changing circumstances and contrary to public interest. This strange doctrine is not supported by statute or common law. Neither individuals nor corporations have any right to come into court and ask that the clock of history be stopped, or turned back.
-Robert Heinlein, Life-Line.
i think this quote sums up what i think of the recording and movie industry's antics.

so i installed kazaa last night, after which i immediately ran a kazaa banner-pop-up add blocker, and lastly ad-aware spyware remover on top of that... kazaa's a pretty cool service, but the fucking spyware, web redirects, and distributed computed clockcycle robbery haven't been big turn ons for me installing it... we'll see how it goes, mostly i just wanted to get copies of a couple of hard-to get proggies and a bunch of live mp3s. also i miss my opera collection after i accidentally deleted my mp3 directory tree... oops.

can tell it's morning though, kazaa traffic's picking up, bandwidth is falling, the p0rn cookies are flying...



so I sit here for the moment in Fergus Falls waiting for Mandy to wait until it's 22oo for me to call her, heh-get it? Sometimes things in life don't make a whole lot of logical sense, well mostly just when they involve other sentient life-forms. Anyway I arrived back in Fergus Falls just a bit ago (@19oo actually) half to haul a bunch of shit back and half because I felt I should, for whatever reason… I was planning on actually bringing things back here but I ended up filling the entire van with clothes instead. Now, I don't know where the fuck I got so many damn garments, but they're all folded and orderly and they still take up the entire van. Back at the apartment I used 2 full closets in addition to a continuous pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom… generally I don't buy clothes, but apparently I've purchased more than I recall. Half the time I grab a shirt and say "what the hell shirt is this?-is this mine?" before putting it on and deciding I must own it as it fits me…. Hmmm…I digress, Mandy is up in the area for a wedding (one of her non-darthmullet ex-boyfriends, actually), so we agreed to hang out, or at least talk about hanging out later in any event… my brother's singing with an Acapella group he's been a part of for his last few years of high-school, at a Relay For Life drive/rally/whatever here in town, at midnight in what may turn out to be their very last vocal performance before splitting trails toward different futures…(if you're one of my old instructors and don't/didn't like my convoluted holy-fucking run-on sentences, then fuck you, spit or swallow.) The last Relay For Life event I've been to was for the same purpose, and it was shortly after the death of my mother, we'll see what kinds of feelings being there tonight dredges up…

tonight is one of those nights where loneliness pervades. I think we all have our moments of weakness whether they be dictated by the whims of greed, lust, fear, contempt, or whathaveyou. Tonight the poison is being alone mentally and physically; like drinking a dry cold white wine beautiful in its purity, yet hopeless in its embrace… would it be totally inappropriate to ask Mandy to spend the night with me (nosex)? We've slept together several times before, does that change anything? I think we were drunk all those times, does that change anything? Do we honestly do things we didn't really want to do when we're under the influence? I had mentioned before that I had hooked up with one of my classmates, I'll call her 's4r' (no relation to an Audi RS4, and don't get me started on comparing the beauty of people to that of German Automobiles). As I also said she moved way the fuck out in the middle of BFE, ND and I haven't heard from her yet… what does this mean? Would it be somehow wrong to sleep with Mandy even though it wouldn't involve anything lusty and I'm, as far as any social standards go, totally uncommitted to s4r?-would it be any more wrong than me considering it right now? Honestly the entire symbolism aspect of interpersonal relationships especially when it comes to guy-girl stuff is just bogus 99% of the time. What's the difference between cheating on someone and seriously considering it? Fundamentally it's the same fucking thing, ie: you're unhappy with your circumstance perhaps equally in both instances, one is provable and the other is not-I guess that's how our fuxored legal system works anyhow… but this line of debate is kind of off the subject of my immediate loneliness…. New topic (that will lead to the same place).

expectation & the weakness of strength:
shouldn't the heading say it all? What is oft associated with strength is so often indistinguishable from weakness. And I'm not talking about muscles for all the brawny buffoons who might actually be reading (gasp) this… After an individual acts a certain way for a long time it takes a lot more strength to change than to just keep doing whatever the fuck he/she has always been doing. Take Cathoholics [sic] for instance (not only because I like to pick on the largest church in the world (clearly an entitlement which deserves dissidence), but also because I'm just not a fan of oppressive dogma in general), not the kind that go to church on Saturday evening so they can be hung-over amongst battered IUDs the next day instead of participating in the normal hour of catholic repression during Sunday am-these people are NOT who I am talking about… mostly I'm talking about "true catholics" as these 1337 may call themselves that don't believe in: sex, oral sex, the holocaust, minorities, condoms, inalienable rights, or other basic ideologies that any civil-minded humanist cherishes as fundamental. Point being this: it's a lot easier to continue being a sheeple [sic] than it is to actually intellectually, spiritually, and culturally evolve into any sort of a empathetic (and gaud forbid: sympathetic) sentient being. If I'm 30 years old, and have believed the exact same thing for the past 25 years it's pretty hard for me to say "you know, I was wrong, the idea of an omnipotent and infinate anything is incompatible with observable scientific theory, and therefore pretty much, without a doubt, a dumb idea"-because mostly of the devaluation of the past 25 years of my life. Thus what is oft perceived as someone who is firm in his/her belief or has great strength, is actually a slave to his/her great weakness. The differences between the absolute belief in gaud and the absolute belief in science is that the scientist admits that there could be a gaud, but that the possibility is so ludicrous that no one in his/her right mind would accept it, the "true believers" will not even acknowledge the possibility of a gaudy inexistence… so what is the catalyst for this weakness?-why expectation of course, if there were not an inherent expectation to continue long-lived behavior forever, well, you get the picture…. So how does this lead to the same place as my former paragraph?- I am oft, strangely enough, regarded as a nice guy, a good person, or someone whom always does the right thing. Usually I do, I suppose-but is it by my own weakness to break the expectations of my peers?-my continual struggle to remain different?-or something else? I have been told on several occasions by different people that I am the strongest person they've ever known, but even as they've said this I've felt that lump of guilt build in my throat, for I know that my façade of strength belies the slavery of the choices I make, and alas, my life. So what's the problem? My own master, I am but a slave. (no longer in existence AFAIK) once had a catchy banner: "information is power, think for yourself" it read. Information is but insanity if one has not the power to utilize it. A more accurate, yet less empowering banner would read the following: "bliss and self-actualization are mutually incompatible."

but where does it all lead me? Further into the dark beneath the trees, by my lonesome skinny self & right back to where I was an hour ago, would it be totally inappropriate to ask for company tonight? v o.2.2.7:
soon to be released, I've spent a good many hours writing/stealing code and spending a large number of hours contemplating site-overlay… there's a couple of things I won't get to fixing just yet, but it's an ongoing project so that's ok. The release after v.o.2.2.7 will have a heavy focus on the organization of some of's inner parts (should be transparent though), and updating some of the shit that I just can't get around to doing this time around… SMEAT! and I have set mutual deadlines for the release of the new and (respectively, obviously) by next Friday…

Mandy just called, gotta' jet to see all those Cancer candles…


it's Sunday, and I'm still in Fergus Falls, damn the man…

so I went to Relay for Life. It was alright; I met Mandy there a little before oooo (midnight) and we watched (and listened to) my brother sing for a little while, she had to go at around oo3o to pick up a drunk friend of hers and tote her around for a bit, so it was a pretty short night with her… Anarci happened to be there working for one of the multiple donation-raising booths (I can't remember which one) so I ended up hanging out with her until about o13o or so when I left… I did talk to Mandy at around o2oo or so that night and did get a date to sleep with her last night after she was done attending a wedding & related dance/whatever, I waited up until around o2oo or something last night, then finally went to bed. Being stood up when I'm achingly lonely really sucks in its fizzingly anticlimactic rejection-bearing disappointment. Well, in any event I hope she had a good time last night and the dance DJ didn't suck even o.o1% as badly as the fat country-loving idiot at fantabulous_fun's wedding, man that guy sucked…

anyway that should end the dilemma of 2 fortnights prior, as far as I'm concerned I slept with Mandy (even though I didn't) and am apprehensive of whether I owe any slumbering chastity to anyone who makes no readily apparent effort to establish or maintain lines of communication in any reasonable manner or medium within any reasonable timeframe, too bad I still like her though *sigh* (s4r). so I went out to eat with Mandy yesterday at a Chinese restaurant here in town called 'Thomas Kao' which is owned by the parents of someone Mandy and I graduated with (but I haven't talked to in 6 years, even though we used to hang out every day…if not more often) , her fortune read: "you can have your cake and eat it too" while mine stated: "Caution at first is better than tears later." Now what the fuck is that supposed to mean?-I always seem to get the most foreboding and morbid fortunes the lackluster fortune cookie think-tanks can concoct. Apparently last night I didn't even get my cake, let alone have any opportunity to eat it, wonder if Mandy's fortune came true. The last time I got a fortune cookie it was fortuneless, which I took to mean I was going to die soon or something, if one applied the idiotic "in bed" rule maybe the absent fortune made more sense, but still….

on a very different note:
so I'm thinking that as the human species matures the acquisition of knowledge must follow a Michaels-Menten kinetic curve (an "S" shape for all you non-biochemistry serfs), so my next question is naturally this: where on the curve are we at present time, it has long been asserted that this acquisition is exponential (logarithmic) and is undoubtedly true to a certain point, but simple common sense will tell us that nothing in applied mathematics can be plotted against a true exponential line infinitely (alas is anything in applied science infinite at all?) and this must hold true for the acquisition of knowledge/information. If we describe information as a physical quantitative commodity, say particles or energy, then obviously accruement must slow at a certain point, as not only the law of diminishing marginal returns dictates, but also common logic will tell us that as new information (particles) become less common and more dispersed throughout the universe it will require proportionately more energy to acquire each new bit (particle) (which is the law of diminishing marginal returns of course, but a better explanation of its phenomena). So where is the plateau, what is the limit?-I highly doubt that the line approached upon is within our scientific sights at this time, but SMEAT! has informed me a couple of times that our rate of information growth is currently slowing, although I haven't seen any data which support this (I haven't really looked I suppose), intuitively one might surmise that this may be the case as with our increasing informational diversity the great generalists are all but becoming extinct, which may presently be leading to a decay in the understanding of relationships between various fields of knowledge. I'm just a random bloke and really don't know what I'm talking about in any event, but time will tell the fate of our species and its knowledge I suppose…

immediately what's the story? I've received a bet that the US invades Iraq before the end of August. What do you think? Actually you may not even read this until August is in the past, so maybe this is a dumb question… the US has overspent its budget by $135B this year, so it's thought that a good ol' war would be in short order to bring the publics eye away from its internally flawed budget. The banana republicans claim that the budget should resolve by 2oo5, conveniently the year of which, in January, mr GW MBA fucking word-power Bush leaves office. How can a country with such a transparent political process be so blind to the ungallant actions of our kakistocracy? Beats the fuck outta' me. Honestly I find it fairly befitting that our world-leading superpower full of 250M complete idiots and about 30M non-total-idiots is led by a man whose entire vocabulary consists of the words "evil," and "bad," occasionally interspersed with more complex words like "axis," and "terrorist," forming intricately empowering statements such as "is our children learning?" (a question technically, but in the form of a statement to prove a point) hmmm… perhaps not mr bush… maybe if we didn't spend so much damn money bailing out an industry in dire need of consolidation our taxpaying public (excluding of course the top 1%, they don't pay taxes) and large corporations (many of these don't pay taxes either, see: microsoft, cisco, et al.) would be better served not only by airlines that actually care about customer satisfaction, but because we're not wasting our money on a bunch of the good ol' boys from the republican country club. But then again when the fuck did any republican give a flying fuck about the denizens they're supposed to be representing? Oh yea, that's right, there are non-millionares residing here as well, nevermind the rest of the world…

so I've been listening to OhGr (pronounced like "Ogre"), 'Welt' all day, man what a fucking awesome CD; recorded in '96, but not released to 'o1 (fucking record companies), it's a disk by Skinny Puppy's Nevik Ogre, and it's adventurousness and musical exploration is absolutely incredible for today, not to mention 8 years ago when it should have been released… if you're an Industrial fan, and in the least bit musically inclined I suggest you check it out, used to have some free OhGr .mp3's but unknown whether or not they still do…

the statistics of stupidity:
ok, so the "average" IQ is 100 (by most accounts). Therefore if your IQ is 100 then half of everyone you should meet should have less bandwidth than you and half should have more, easy enough? (was it Roosevelt who was dismayed that half of Americans have below-average intelligence?-heh) Now consider this: x=100 SD=15 (usually anyway) so when one attains an IQ of 132 he/she resides in the top 2% of the population (per mensa anyway, x=100 and SD=15 should provide a .95 @ 2SD (IQ=130) in any event) in terms of intelligence, by the time an IQ score is 145 its respective owner would usually be the smartest person out of any random group of 400 people (statistically anyway), many more blokes than that to meet someone smarter. Anyway the average HS graduate has an IQ of 105, the average college grad: 115 (1SD~top 32% of the population) and the list goes on w/ advanced degrees and the like… but if one looks at the average IQ of bachelors degrees of 115 it might suggest that ½ the population is perhaps incapable of even acquiring a 4-year degree, after all a SD will mean a relatively large difference between academic abilities. While IQ does not guarantee either success or failure it does make logical sense that an individual with an IQ of 95 will not be equally viable in the research arena as an individual with an IQ of 135, and blah blah blah blah blah. But here's the real kicker: how smart is the average 4-year grad?-this question's like a joke right? The average college grad leaves a lot to be desired, as many (dare I say 'most') of them have very little if any analytical prowess nor any covetable abilities except perhaps to those struggling with a lower clockspeed, I shudder to think about it. Now if we were to set our own bars for intelligence we would probably decide that the 'average 4-year graduate' is of a below average intelligence, and alas many professionals in our society are equally shortcoming in their ability to think or to reason, following this train of thought it soon becomes apparent that elitism is perhaps an innate trend of society, I would no more be associated with the "average person" than would the average person find pleasure from the company of an individual with an IQ of 70 (the oft stated threshold of mental retardation), nor would those I associate with feel much differently. So here's the bind: who decries elitism other than the elitists themselves, perhaps, in my case anyway, a certain degree of ignorance arises from an existence in my own selfish world of perpetual intellectual barriers to entry. I, fundamentally feel that a socialist tendency toward opportunity and individual advancement is an inherent importance to a successful society, or vise versa. Yet, is the average joe even capable or dare I say: deserving, of an equal opportunity for roads of life he/she is anatomically unable to trod? From a socialist perspective is it not better to refrain from misallocation of static resources for a fair entry to endeavors which by human nature will not be fairly selected for no matter the catalyst for enrollment? Like it or not I am elite, perhaps we all are in some way or another, and likewise perhaps we are all blind to the ignorance abounding outside our quasiworlds in the matters of common sense within these circles. What is a Direct Ignition System, a Kernal, a limerick, an up quark, an inferometer, Bernoulli's Principle, a polyprotic acid, what is Desferrioxamine used for, what is cAMP, crescendo, EBITDA, etc. etc. if you could answer half of these you're doing pretty good, I wouldn't imagine I could answer half of the recherché terms you might throw to me from your knowledge db, or ideas from your frontal cortex. So do we exist solely in a world of elite circles, and view a panoramic amalgam of these circles throughout our varying walks of life, or can these circles even be labeled as such? Perhaps one of the biggest problems in the world today is a lack of understanding. Not only of knowledge in general, but of perspectives, situations, interconnectedness, etc. perhaps religious, cultural, and ethnic divides could be bridgeable if only humanity could be less elitist, yet there exists within our social circles a level of comfort perhaps unsurpassed in the rest of the world around us. Have people been bred to favor the 'village life' even though we are now termed the 'global village?'-a term which seems contradictory in nature, and exists only for the purpose of exposing an interconnectedness not wholly felt by many of earth's humble serfs. People move to sprawling urban centers, yet maintain their village community, the bar butterfly as lonely as the lot lizard, and the dead-beat family man as fulfilled as the child-bearing Iowa farmer. So then what was this paragraph about?-hardly statistics, hardly stupidity, hardly anything really… more rambling…

perhaps I'm done for the day…



well, well, i suppose the day was alright, qwest communications announced that it accrued $1b in accounting errors from 1999-2oo2, in our current clime of corporate mis-stated earnings i'm doubting that these 'errors' are simply accountants forgetting to carry the digits when they're adding up the columns on qwest's spreadsheets (not that this is actually what accountants do or anything)... i've long been evangelizing the fall of the qwest bastards, you know their share-price has depreciated more than 95% since last year, i can imagine this latest news isn't helping these debt-ridden rodents out a whole lot. Last i heard they were selling off qwestdex and their wireless division and applied to be allowed as a long-distance carrier, not that the long-distance market has much long-term profitability by current standards anyway. they're as fucked as Vivendi as far as i'm concerned. One more bully buckling under the weight of his stolen lunch money...

tonight darthmullet, beth and i went to bennies for supper, holy fucking 40 bucks, drinks are too expensive during the non-happy-hour times... we also watched a movie, it was alright i suppose... i always feel unproductive doing stuff like that, i would much rather be reading/writing/whatevering instead, or at least have one of those amazing 16-hour naps or something...

got an E from Mandy today, turns out the SprintPCS network was too busy for her to call me on Saturday night, talk about the man putting the kabash down on plans... just like the RIAA and MPAA, you have the "right" to do whatever you want, they just want to control your means to exercise that right... anyway was thinking today that i'd really like to get ahold of s4r, would it be too psycho to write her a letter at her place of rotational employment? i just wish more things were logical sometimes, although it would defeat the magical uncertainty of a lot of things (mostly the same things i wish could be more orderly)...

the site overhaul for tid242 is pretty much complete, i think i'm shooting for a Thursday release (that'll be o8.o1)... still need a laptop so i can continue my incessant complaining while without access to a proper computer...

guess that's about it for now...



spending money, yet still living in "poverty." Damn the man.
so right now i'm waiting for a cheap frozen pizza to cook in the oven (frozen pizza's a bit of an oxymoron as it's not frozen, and i don't know that 'frozen pizza' is really a proper adjective nor pizza family)... so i'm guessing this will be one awesome thing about living in Chicago, pizza, Chicago has the best pizza places in the country, just thinking about it makes me really not want to eat the piece of shit in the oven, oh well...

so in the last 2 days i've spent around $15oo. That's not really very good news, being that it's a huge amount of my current, static, money-pool (well i mean 'static' in reference to the fact that it's not growing at all...although it is dynamic in that it's getting smaller...), but the good news is that i am now the proud owner of an IBM Thinkpad, and a Cannon S200 digital cam with 128Mb of memory, although they are both somewhere across the country in some warehouse or something ,somewhere. So i'm thinking this will be the extent of my purchases for at least the next few months, but it will allow me to continue writing directly at 80 wpm instead of a measly 10-15 that i can't read later anyway, also i can start taking pictures! Oh man am i excited to have a digital cam...

in other news kazaa is fucking awesome (except for the spyware). I am now also the proud owner of 'y tu mama tambien' although it's in espanol (sorry about the spelling, i don't feel like installing a character map, and can't remember how to get the tilde) with no subtitles in englase. I also got a shitload of live Manson and NIN bootlegs, Opera performances, music from 'Requiem for a Dream' 'Blues Brothers' and the like, and here's the best part; the evil empire got $0.00 in exchange for my listening enjoyment, fucking bastards.

ever notice how frozen pizzas usually require about twice the length of time outlined in the directions to cook? What the hell?-do most people eat the pizzas raw?-the directions do state "do not eat pizza raw." My pizza was thawed and the oven was pre-heated and i'm going on half an hour for a 12-minute cook. i guess i did put some onions, green peppers, jalapenos, and olives on it, but i didn't think it would add 20 minutes to the cook-time...anyway, what i'd really like is some Chianti, but i've got to be productive tonight; i've decided that i'm releasing v. o.2.2.7 tonight, as i have to work on a research project for my "job" and give a presentation on Friday, at first they told me that i had to do something that would be relative to the every-day pharmacist, but they decided to let me do a report on the impact of HIV on third-world countries (namely Africa) after they figured out that i have about 0% interest in anything pharmaceutical. Gotta' love it...

so i ate the pizza, it was alright, except for the part that came frozen at the store...

so rumor has it that the mankeys are planning on having an 'end of summer' party, i'll have to keep you posted, apparently this will be at the end of August, so i'll have to drive back for it from Chicago, which is alright, it isn't too horribly far, not anything i'd want to do every weekend or anything, although probably would if there were reason enough to do it... isn't that the way it always works out: "man i'd NEVER do that..." and the next thing you know unforeseen circumstances dictate that you end up doing just that all the time. some people call it hypocrisy, i call it adaptability...

of interest:
it had long been my contention that the United States would lose its global economic dominance within the next 10 years (i think i've been saying that for about 5 years now, so maybe back then i meant '15'). I've slowly come to realize that, by and large, i was dead wrong. I now believe that the United States will remain the largest and strongest world economy until at least 2050, with the exception of military-mediated security. First a word on military and global dominance. No country today can come close to rivaling the strength of the US military, we spend more money annually than does all of Europe, put together, alas we spend more than spenders 2-8 on the spending list dwarfing all of Europe, China, and Russia added together (plus we got a $40b increase in military spending last year, up to a whopping $370b per annum with the republicans promising $400b+ within the next few years, and the Economist recently reported an estimated $470b peak somewhere not too far down the road). I think i remember reading somewhere that the US and its allies spend on the order of 20-30 times more than countries often cited as chief threats to security (N. Korea, Iran, etc.). with the republicans all having hard-ons for a National Missile Defense System, which will probably cost somewhere in the range of $150b - $250b, if they can ever get the fucker to work right (but still won't protect us from nuclear-armed cruise missiles) anyway, and their self-righteous conservative bigotry dominating politics, i don't see this trend reversing. The last (real) war we participated in: Desert Storm, was a completely one-sided crushing victory for the states, sustaining less than a couple of hundred causalities (almost all the result of accidentally shooting ourselves) compared to the masses of killed and captured Iraqi troops, and the total blitzkrieg annihilation of their defenses with technology greatly surpassing the expectations/predictions of everyone involved... if there's anything the world learned from this skirmish it's this: if you fight a cookie-cutter war with the US you will hopelessly lose. We are now seeing a great shift in military prowess from one of decisive battles to an urbanized warfare of more 'terrorist-like' game-plan. After all if you wanna' hurt the big guy you've got to fight cheap (i'm all about acting mentally retarded to avoid getting beat up, then using the good ol' beer-bottle-to-the-back-of-the-head-whack tactic...). but apart from the transformation of military power i think the US will maintain an enormous global stranglehold on power. Japan and Germany our two largest economic competitors face a baby-boom choosing retirement almost a full decade ahead of ours, coupled with expensive social programs that actually care about old people, are in prime positions to drain their coffers, not that Japan has anything in its coffers, rife with steeped vesting in poor economic practices Japan's cyclic collapsing may continue well into the next 50 years for all i know anyway. also in the next 50 years the utilization of immigrant labor to supplement economic sectors relying traditionally upon a glut of young people will become invaluable in a clime of flattening growth (reproductive-growth) curves and a negative native population growth (which has actually been the case for the past several years). The US remains one of the best cultures for assimilation (despite our blatant racist ignorance here nonetheless) of these essential people... it may well also remain that the US will remain ruthless enough to dominate in the global economy rewarding cut-throat business practices (which is why Japan is having such problems, they're not bastards...). blossoming economies, namely China and India with an ant-like workforce and enormous populations (decent governments in these countries would be an enormous catalyst for positive change) are oft cited as the next superpowers but corrupt governments continue to abate economic progress, and, unless something is done, HIV/AIDS will take a devastating toll on these countries and could very well gut their entire economic infrastructure. India will be especially prone to this catastrophe as not only do they suffer from the same male to female ratio disparity that China does, perhaps intensifying (or perhaps a disparity will intensify) the transmission of the virus, but India's large conservative religious (namely Islamic) population will disproportionately survive the scourge and will thus adversely select for highly-conservative, antiprogressive ideologies (just look at the lack of ingenuity dominating the middle-east, it's almost solely due to religious dogma stifling thought) which will further stifle the country. On the other hand if India becomes more libertarian in its policies nuke-wielding Pakistan, may come to be more hostile than it already is if it retains a highly conservative Muslim majority (almost a sure-bet in any event), the instability created by such chronic tension may well provide ample anti-brain drain and a disincentive for prosperous multilateral corporations to remain headquartered in the country. China's poor governing body also doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon either. although inevitably it cannot last for more than another decade or two, bloated government arms could very well retain control of key Chinese enterprises in a bloated and inefficient traditional management scheme (such as their stock market, and many government-run industries). Although during this time the EU will undoubtedly gain and wield a considerable amount of political and economic power their individual economies could very well suffer under a burgeoning EU membership as it extends ever East into the destitute former Soviet republics draining the traditionally rich eastern European countries of their "extra" monies. Russia will also invariably remain in the dumps for at least the next couple, if not several, decades, especially with the currently poor level of help attained from their US counterparts, and the surging incidence/prevalence of HIV/AIDS in the clime of poor individual lifestyle opportunities. One of the few, and potentially enormous fields that i could reasonably, at this point in time, consider to be driven over-seas would be "questionable" technologies related to stem-cell research and its ilk, as it may well continue to be hobbled by the conservative bigotry painfully strong here in the US. Japan, Germany, and the UK could very well become global centers for gene-therapy, as well as all other manners of biotech & its related therapies.

that's the thought for the day, besides the perpetual and redundant "people are stupid" mentality that i like to spout off about all the time...

with no further ado, i'll update to v. o.2.2.7



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