start.1o.2oo2



2oo21oo6.1o3o

So i heard on the radio a few days ago a proposal by one of the Iraqi vice presidents (apparently there is more than one VP in Iraq?) that instead of having a war between the nations the Iraqi President/VP challenged GWBush and Cheney to a duel (or duel duel i guess), thus eliminating the thousands of casualties inherent with any armed conflict. Sounds like a good idea to me, the Iraqi VP was even so courteous as to allow the American dueling duet to name the game themselves. Can you imagine GWBush winning any sort of boxing match with Saddam Hussein?-i'll bet ESPN would make a fucking killing of the pay-per-view for that event, hell, even i'd pay and i fucking hate ESPN, the American presidency as well as the Iraqi leadership. Personally i should think that they could sit down to a game of chess and a bottle of dry Cabernet to resolve their differences, after all it is a personal vendetta as GWBush went on record a week or so ago saying "This is the guy who tried to kill my dad" in his usual hard-to-empathize-with illiterately choppy sentences... in any event GWBush's best chances of winning would probably be at a game like "Chutes and Ladders," or "Candy land."

John Walker Lindh was sentenced the other day to 2o years in prison (the radio said "jail" but i'm pretty sure it'll be prison), TIME MAGAZINE published a very good article about him the week before, a very sad story about someone who never fit in very well and finally did with Islam, exploring mosques throughout California before deciding upon a sect of Islam he liked and pledging his life to the religion. After HS he choose to study in Yemen (i believe it was) to learn the purest form of Islam, and just ended up getting caught up with the wrong people. A man goes on a quest to find out who he is and it turns out he would have been better off having lots of kids, barbeques and baseball games over cases of BUD LIGHT like most of the shallow idiots the country over, not "better" as he probably has a greater understanding of himself and the world than do most of the aforementioned, but "better" as in tangible predicament. At least this man was given a trial unlike the two "Enemy Combatants" held by the Justice Department...

i helped my grandmother with a church bazaar yesterday (today is Sunday), spent around maybe 6 hours or so cutting Shitake mushrooms and eggs for Udon, and then serving some people in their fellowship hall, the night before i helped make an ass-load of monshu to be sold there. All and all things were good, and we spent all of our money on food for ourselves, and then some food for the Nasus...

These past few days i really haven't been up to too much, purchased a plane ticket from Fargo to Port Elizabeth the other day, Fargo to Minneapolis, to Amsterdam, to Johannesburg, to Port Elizabeth. The flight(s) will take around 2 days, pretty funky if you ask me. Should be a good experience in any event, i guess we're leaving on Feb 7th and arriving back in Fargo around May 24th the whole thing round-trip is around $17oo, certainly more than i've ever paid for a trip before, although NDSU is apparently picking up $15oo of it, but i suppose i've still got to write my essay before that happens, damn the laziness...

Talked to scheides yesterday, some of the Mankeys might come down next weekend to visit, which would be really cool. My grandmother told me yesterday that it would be ok if we stayed at her place, as she'll be in Iowa for an award her brother is getting for the work he's done over his lifetime after graduating from some University there... not exactly sure what all we'll end up doing in any event, thought maybe it'd be cool to go to a museum or something during the day on Saturday, then go out on Saturday night and then just lie low on Sunday, we'll see what everyone thinks...

Brazil's presidential elections are today, i don't think the outcome will be spectacular but i do think this may be an important date in the history of Brazil.

2oo21oo6.11oo


2oo21oo6.2157

So i watched the movie SIGNS today staring Mel Gibson. What a stupid fucking movie, the first 1/3 or so was alright because it was all mysterious and stuff, but then the rest went downhill from there. Movie makes about as much sense as all of those dumb fucking UFO chasers. Aliens travel for billions of miles across space to try to take over earth and before they attack Biosphere One's lowly denizens they have to make visual marks in corn fields (as crop circles) so they remember where to go, yea ok. Their ships can cloak as to be undetectable to radar as well as the naked eye and hover over cities without flattening the houses below by their downward torrents of air, not to mention having machinery capable of traveling across intergalactic space, but then the aliens run around trying to punch people, one might be inclined to think that they would have weapons of some kind. That would be like me being a soldier in the 82nd Airborne, flying thousands of miles in an AC130 cargo plane, parachuting from 3o,ooo feet along with a drop shipped hummer and an ass-load of supplies, then loading all the shit up with my fellow commanders after landing and securing all of our dropped stuff from the flight path, then taking a jot across country with the hummer and when meeting enemy troops getting out of the vehicle and running up and punching them. Yea, alright. And not to mention the lackluster originality inherent with virtually all medium portraying aliens, of all the virtually limitless ways aliens could have evolved they all invariably have a head, 2 eyes, a mouth, 2 arms, and are biped. While we can assume (perhaps unreasonably) that the basic evolution of life would point to beings with a few characteristics examples being: if they have eyes they will be close to the brain, and we could reasonably believe that there would be no less than 2 as stereoscopic vision would provide superior ability over that of cyclopean blokey aliens, we can assume that if they are able to visit us then their brains are probably large as a function of their overall mass, there are a few more assumptions as well, but these aren't the point of this argument. If you could guess even the chance of aliens communicating with voices that humans could hear one might surmise it would be exceedingly small; if one were to assume that they spoke with voices at all the frequency of their audio-productive and audio-perceptive abilities would vary greatly depending upon many factors including the density of their native atmosphere (assuming they lived in an atmosphere as opposed to an ocean or something), evolutionary quirks of their native planet, physical characteristics of their planet's background noise etc, etc. and that's assuming they even communicate via sound, there's no reason to assume that there is any particular reason that they wouldn't communicate via vision or touch instead, or by pheromones or even by more unusual means. Nope, not surprisingly aliens are always just like the boring old humans. Big fucking surprise there. SIGNS did a fairly decent job with character development and the actors were very good, but the story is about as stupid as anything some Joe would come up with on the street. The twist at the end where the angry god-rejecter mends his heathen ways is a big-ass crock of Hollywood feel-good shit fed to people who, apparently, like to eat shit...

This week may prove to be busier than most, might have only Monday and Tuesday night without plans, been making lots of dates to be going out and stuff, which is, of course, a good thing. So this night it was resolved that none of the Mankeys will be staying at my grandmother's place, even though she offered. When i took her up on her offer today she seemed all worried about stuff and was saying stuff like: "it's just going to be boys right, no girls?" and "you're not going to be drinking at all right?" - i'm not going to lie to her: yes, there will probably be girls and yes, chances are we will be drinking... so anyway Cynthia and Brian said that we should stay in their basement, which will be absolutely nice. Very nice people, my family, although some of them may be a bit out of touch... Kind of hurts though that there is such a lack of trust between my grandmother and myself (well, in one direction anyway), but i suppose with children/grandchildren one tends to forget their age and advancement in life, it was a very short time ago that i even started driving, and but a decade ago i was barely a teenager, for someone who's 85 1o-15 years ago isn't nearly what it is for someone who's 23... That's the way it works though i suppose. Scheides was going to call me today and lemme' know what dasen dilliyo is for next week, but he hasn't yet. i'll have to give him a ringle-jingle tomorrow...

Just a quick aside, i noticed in The Economist today a reference to an old adage i've come across several times in the past about adding frogs to boiling water. For those of you who are unfamiliar it goes something like this: If you add a frog to near-boiling water the frog will say "holy fuck this is hot!"-and jump out; if you add a frog to room-temperature water and slowly bring it to a boil it will just sit in the water like a dumb-ass until it's cooked. Wonder where this saying came from, and if it's actually true. i mean you obviously couldn't just add the frog to boiling water and expect it to jump out, if one added a person to boiling water i doubt he/she would be able to just "jump out," i would more expect the person to be instantly killed. This is purely speculation, mind you, but i'd imagine it'd be the same for Mr. Frog... so how hot does the water have to be before the frog jumps out instead of sitting around waiting to be cooked? i used to actually live near a pond and catch frogs by the bucketful (figuratively speaking, if i were able to keep them in the bucket...) and if there's one thing i learned about frogs is that they don't like to be caught and "put" anywhere, whether it be a pot of water about to be brought to a simmer, or water-filled wheelbarrows, sandboxes, huge buckets, or anything else for that matter; and the frogs tend to jump out of any place you put them. So i think experimentally this would be a more difficult theory to test than it might first seem. And this theory might be bullshit since frogs always try to jump out of anything you put them in... maybe i'll have to look into this someday, although i've always had a soft spot for frogs so i'd prefer if this didn't involve cooking any of them...

2oo21oo6.2249


2oo21oo7.1915

There is a facet of group dynamics that has been well documented which involves many like-minded people, regardless of their intelligence, making poor decisions. For individuals alive during the Bay of Pigs and the ensuing fiasco they are probably all too familiar with this nuance (i was not alive at that time). Anyway the scenario goes something like this: a bunch of people who all think alike get together and start thinking about things, the more they think and talk about their thoughts the more confident they become in their opinions, and so their thinking trends toward the extremes fed by a positive feedback loop of similar ideas and opinions. Most of us probably experience this many times in our lives; it's easy to be in a group of 2o year olds and make inappropriate (although somewhat true) generalizations about old people, but a lot less easy to do if you're in a group where some of its members are golden-oldies. i quite commonly immerse myself in the group of my friends and become over-confident in my assertions about things, much like sitting around by myself typing in this diary a collection of protected thoughts. While this is one of those quirks of humanity, or a somewhat funny aspect of ourselves it may be devastating when leadership circles fall into this pattern. Been doing a lot of thinking about the upcoming confrontation with Iraq and what the fuck has been going on in our country that no one actually second guesses the idea that for some reason we have to go to war, much less oppose it. Sure there's several serfs like me who sit around and complain about it, but our leadership has shown very little drive to actually discuss the idea, which i find particularly odd and peculiarly disturbing. Firstly, as a tie in to my origional train of thought, i believe that the GWBush cabinet have deluded themselves into an imminent conflict with our declared Mid-Eastern nemesis. They've really fucked themselves should they decide to back down now, they've talked the talk, and started barking up the tree, makes it pretty hard to make any different course of action without losing face by admitting their former errs in judgment. The reason i think this is because the presidency's break-neck pace to go to war is irrational, and largely without peripheral consideration. It's a tunnel-vision mad dash to fulfill a decision formed well before any opportunity for genuine discussion, much less debate or contemplation. There are very grim and very real dangers to be considered in the plight to democratize the Middle East, the logistics of Iraq are but the tip of a very big and very sinister iceberg. The administration has already convinced themselves that an Iraqi conflict will be a short, clear and decisive victory for the US, much as desert storm was, which is clearly a mistake. Since we've made it our prime motive to kill Saddam Hussein we have given him nothing to lose. When thinking about a dictator/despot with nothing to lose, known stores of chemical and biological weapons, and a clearly supported hate for someone self-righteously attacking him, it should give pause to any ideas about a generally US casualty-free overthrow. Hopefully strategic planners can somewhat compensate for faulty orders from above. There is no support worldwide (with the notable exception of Britain, although its populace generally oppose such support) for US action in Iraq, and this comes at a time when the US has given illegitimate support to the flawed and militant policies of Ariel Sharon in his own personal vendetta striving for the ruin of the Palestinians, clearly not something which makes the US popular amongst even our allies in the Middle East, and something that clearly gives Saddam Hussein a reasonable motive for launching VX into Israel. In fact it would be fair to say that the American public has not had time enough to properly weigh the decision of what our position on Iraq should be. It wasn't but August that the idea of Iraq had even been mentioned (actually GWBush was talking about it in July, but no one was listening so i don't know that this much counts for time in which there should have been debate and discussion) and it is now scarcely October, and fucking GWBush is ready to send in the Dragoons, before the Iraqi infantry line has even flinched. Not only has the GWBush cabinet alienated the world with his black and white agenda, but he has also succeeded in alienating the American people. We (the people) have not been kept informed about the tentative policies of the White House, and we have certainly not had any voice in this decision making process. There's a reason why i waste my fucking time voting for people to represent me in government, it disheartens me greatly that some born-again bimbo who attained a minority of the popular 2ooo vote, grabbing a victory from the jaws of a broken system overseen by his brother, who also coincidentally likes to replace logically-mediated public policy with ill-founded Christianity-derived tribal superstition, has the fucking audacity to overlook the wishes of this country's governing body in matters of decidedly international, not to mention surely of national, importance. If Mr. Bush is insistent on acting unilaterally in matters of state importance then he should also take it upon himself to unfuck the country he's pushed off a cliff. And when threatened with his "you're either for us or against us" rhetoric, or Witch-hunter Ashcroft's "those who talk of liberties being lost are only aiding terrorists" totalitarian nonsense then i choose the side of "terror," i'm no fucking terrorist but i sure as hell am not a fan nor supporter of Bush nor Ashcroft in mind nor in spirit, if decrying the way the Bush Administration: treats the international community, holds its citizens without due process or access to any legal system whatsoever, integrates Christian nonsense into state policy, and uses state resources to settle old family scores, labels me as a terrorist then so be it.

2oo21oo7.2o22


2oo21o11.1314

on the way to work today the word "groupthink" popped into my head, groupthink is what i was referring to with flawed decision making within groups of people couldn't remember it, funny how that works, hopefully the winning lotto numbers of the future will pop into my head next time...

i've been thinking quite a bit about the nature of intelligence lately, maybe "the nature of intelligence" is not a very good descriptor, more like how the perception of what intelligence is will perhaps change in the coming years. i'm going to say up front that i've studied very little on the matter and so my underlying assumptions may be flawed or broken, but i think my idea is worthy of ponderance. But 10 years or so ago an individual with an uncanny ability to remember things (without necessarily knowing anything about the things he/she was remembering) would have been considered, by and large, intelligent. Today in the world of data-mining software and its ilk this facet of being "smart" is no longer as important as it might have been then. As mediums of communication continue to move to remotely distributed "nodes" of individuals over data networks and computers become more integral to our every-day lives, the ability of a person to remember recherché tidbits of information will become continually less important (or impressive). Interestingly (since ours is a society of instant gratification) the widespread availability to access otherwise tedious-to-acquire information may allow the average person to be able to retain information better due to an increased ability to re-acquaint thoughts drifting into forgetfulness with recallable memory. This will also further depress the elitism of the select few to remember uncanny amounts of data. Somewhat related to intelligence is wisdom, while conventional wisdom will probably elude the masses forever (isn't this the definition of 'wisdom' something inherently above the masses but within the grasp of the 'town elders'?), most important in the working force is the concept of having "experience" which is sometimes used as a rough estimate as to whether someone's stupid or not (an inverse measure of wisdom), but really work experience isn't anything more than having seen various analogies to many different problems one could potentially face in his/her new occupation and the assumed ability to correlate the problems of the past with potential solutions to the future. With an ability to gather many facts quickly and sift through billions of pages of data in fractions of a second this whole idea of "experience" sort of becomes a hazy mix between having seen a particular problem/issue before and being able to find similar problems/issues from a cache of documented problems in the past. What will ultimately become important with this respect will be the ability to apply problems to the future as the acquisition of pertinent data will progressively become easier. There's no reason not to expect data-mining machines to be able to find provide recommendations for problems based solely upon the statistical chances of success, you will pay a person to make recommendations against the machines, where appropriate, as today i don't know that recommendations against 'the norm' are primarily what people are paid for. i am a bit torn about other measures of intelligence, such as the ability to reason. It seems to me that "reasoning" is sort of an abstract term relating to a higher function of being able to: recall data, correlate data, analyze data, extrapolate data, etc. etc. when though of in this respect "reasoning" could very well be taken over by thinking machines. On this note "People Skills" could also very well be taken over by machines as they are less prone to bias and prejudice and would be better able to yield on insignificant issues to gain overall advances (such as in a joint-business venture for example (and no that's not a business rolling joints)) much more easily than could other people. Although i feel that the replacement of frontal-lobe sort of things and interpersonal interaction will occur much more distantly than will the direct effect data-searching algorithms will. It's amazing (and i fully acknowledge how dated these figures will be) Google right now has 2.5b indexed pages, do any particular search and it takes usually somewhere between o.1 and o.2 seconds to perform a search against your criteria and google's cache of indexed pages, this would take a group of people perhaps hundreds or thousands of years to do, when the inevitable interlinking of this computerized capability to human thought it will produce a truly amazing thing. There is the long-time fear that machines will eventually 'take over' all of the functions of people, what i feel is more realistic is the idea that armies of machines under the command of a few elite individuals will slowly take over unfavorable human occupations. People always oppose such things, but it is a favorable shift in the greater sense. If you told someone 1oo years ago that machines today do most of the work when it comes to manufacturing, mining, etc etc. they would be absolutely horrified "what do people then do?" they would ask, but the truth of the matter is that no one really even wants those jobs anymore as the market has evolved in such a manner that there are better things for people to do than spend their lives doing (sure there are still people who mine and manufacture, but you get the picture). Much of this could be attributed to the rise of the service industry, in which, historically, machines have been unable to participate, however as we move to a digital world bots will increasingly have greater access to digital services, and will allow them to be done much more efficiently, thus allowing for overall growth, which in turn will open up new, unforeseen pockets for people to spend their time pursuing careers inside. Will authorship, the contemporary arts, et al become the next "big thing?" When things that are highly valued today can be done for virtually free by a machine what will we spend our extra income on? It has always been my contention that technology, although doesn't provide, allows for a better life, instead of spending 18 hours per day plowing up a field one row at a time behind some enslaved animal i can spend 8 hours per day 5 times per week doing menial shit and the rest of the time writing my thoughts, reading about things which interest me and doing other things which make me happy. This is a good thing. Ultimately the purpose of machines is to make the lives of their creators better, easier and happier. While these measures are hard to quantify it often reminds me of an opinion paper written by someone a couple of years ago about "fuck bots" which (i think) was intentioned primarily to point out human nature. i also find it interesting that if machines ever "decide" to "kill off" humans i don't necessarily agree that it will be by actively running around slaughtering them, but rather by letting humans slowly fade into extinction. i doubt that this would actually be all that difficult, as the "fuck bot" article pointed out that one of the most popular things to potentially come from robotics, tissue engineering, AI, et al would be the ability of people to "purchase" partners, which could very well take the place of human partners. The author agued that individuals would become so accustomed to their bots, and their bots so superb at providing what people want that it would decimate the desire to actually have a relationship with another person (what i think was really interesting about the article (and probably the only reason i read it) was the author's preoccupation with sex and robots being good at fucking, while the broader implications are astounding, eventually the technology will be such that intellectual and emotional relationships will actually be better with machines rather than other people, which is truly profound, unlike the personal masturbation-devices the article was primarily about). While i think this is a long long time in the future (assuming ever) it does point, in the immediate future, to the possibility of people becoming psychologically attached to machines which have taken the place of living creatures in our lives, SONY has its robotic pet "dog," Laura Croft (TOMB RAIDER) was a national (international?) celebrity a couple of years ago although Laura Croft was/is nothing more than a computer apparition, "computerized" voices are now the chosen sound of some music mediums (such as Techno), most company telephone lines are in large part handled by machines (albeit crudely), etc, etc. While these are crude examples of "relationships" being replaced by machines, they do set a thought-worthy precedent.

hmmm... i guess i strayed a bit on my topic area, but such is the way of thought i suppose, while it isn't questionable (in my mind) that machines will be able to vastly outreach my intellectual abilities within my lifetime, i do find it questionable whether any of these machines would enjoy sailing around the Mediterranean for several years sampling food from Greece, Italy, France, Spain and Morocco. If bots allow me to spend my time sailing and writing books instead of spending my time doing menial tasks for companies who don't care about me, then i'll be a happier person, with or without a "fuck bot" or two.

Speaking of "fuck bots" SMEAT!, Anna, Scheides and my brother are heading down here to Chicago-land sometime within the next hour or so (which means they'll get here at around 23oo or so), i'm very much looking forward to the visit. We'll be spending the next few days at Cynthia and Brian's house (as i told Scheides: in the basement like Morlocks) sleeping and a whole bunch of our other time doing tourist-things. i think tonight we might meet David and Sarita, but i've got to call them and make sure...

In other personal news i was approached yesterday by the head of the clinical people at Baxter about possibly doing contract work for them after my externship there was over, to me it sounds like a good opportunity, so we'll see what becomes of that, i'm kind of surprised i'm that well liked there, although i guess i have always been very well liked at every place i've ever worked for reasons not totally apparent to me, but i'm certainly not going to complain or argue about it...

In recent world events: the US becomes more unilateral by the day, pisses me off to no end. The senate approved yesterday (Thursday) 77 to 23 (or was it 73 to 27??? Can't remember!) giving fucking GWBush power to launch an attack against Iraq whenever he feels like it, i don't question the man's intentions (although i do question his ulterior motives) but just feel he's incapable of running a country, as he's done a fine job of fucking shit up so far (yet is still popular, how does that work?), i hope there's a huge left-shift in demographics by the time he's done. Anyway, without another Republican rant, i'll just say that i'm not comfortable giving this man the go-ahead to whimsically attack another sovereign nation. Also i just read today that the FBI illegally hacked into someone's computer in Russia, then invited him to the US and arrested him (ie broke Russian law to arrest someone), which is a blatant disregard for sovereignty and therefore respect of the international community, which doesn't please me regardless of what the man did to get the FBI after him.... Allegedly attacks are about to be stepped up against US interests abroad according to "press releases" by Al-Quaeda, in this week a French oil-tanker has been potentially attacked, although they haven't figured out if it was attacked or accident-prone, a bunch of Marines during a live-fire exercise, on an island off of Kuwait ran into people shooting at them, and one Marine was killed, and an alleged "sleeper cell" or two has been arrested in the past few weeks, one in NY and the other in Washington i believe. Although this is more national than international news...

Brazil will have another presidential election later this month la Sulva missed winning outright by 3% on the 6th (he received 47% of the popular vote). That country's having so many economic problems right now, i'd be very scared if i lived there (hell i'm worried about it and i don't even know anyone that lives there)...

Since i've been focusing on national news mostly (Americans think anything that happens here is important enough to be International news), i should mention that someone in the DC area with .223 caliber rifle has been sniping civilians for the past week or so. Pretty scary actually as they're all "normal" people, i think 7 or 8 have died so far and one person was injured, people waiting for a bus, washing his/her car, gassing up, mowing the lawn, etc. Very peculiar indeed. If one were in the business of killing people you'd think he/she would kill people he/she didn't like, such as police officers, politicians, abortion doctors, Jewish Priests, or someone else from a group of people that are historically hated, rather than a bunch of serfs going about their daily business... unless he/she just hates everyone i suppose. But it's very odd nonetheless, especially given he's killed Whites, Blacks, an Asian (Korean), etc. So it's not racially confined either. Of course this has got some politician-type dumb-asses talking about making every bullet sold in the country traceable by serial number to the sale, yea ok, let's just keep track of what everyone in the country buys and then just arrest people pre-emptively if they're not buying what everyone else is, that would be way easier than spending the money on educating people to be better citizens (not to mention human beings) in the first place.

guess that's about it for now...

2oo21o11.1616


2oo21o17.1823

guess it's been a little while since i've last written, although i don't really know that i have all that much to report...

Apparently on October 3rd and 4th when the US and North Korea were meeting it was disclosed by the North Koreans that they've had an up and running nuclear weapon program since 1994. Ouch, i mean that's only 8 years without knowing it. So i suppose that puts future tensions as well as their past vows to allow the AEA to inspect them for the next several years, in the shitter. Most interesting part about all of this is that it comes at a time when our idiotic country (mostly just GWBush) is intent on going to war with Iraq on the suspicion of a nuke program there. So then?-i suppose we'll also need a 'regime change' in North Korea as well then... well maybe not, as "he's not the guy who tried to kill GWBush's dad." So on most levels its very bad to find out that their nuclear program is alive and well, but on some levels i'm secretly loving the wrench it's putting in GWBush's plans, the way it should be when he closes the rest of the world out of the decision making for international issues. Note to self: "the international community is never irrelevant."

Geo, Scheides, SMEAT!, and Anna all visited last weekend, stayed at Cynthia and Brian's place. Was nice to see people again, was also cool to go downtown as well, both during the day and at night. The bars are open until 4am, holy shit! Ate Dim-Sum (sp?) on Sunday for the first time ever. It was pretty fucking good, SMEAT! Just loved everything and Anna seemed more or less horrified for about the first 3o or so minutes and then she and scheides ended up ordering off the menu, but i was reassured it was a good experience. Everything was generally meat-filled so they kind of had a hard time... i think out of the whole trip the only thing purchased (besides food/alcohol/tickets) was a tube of Wasabi for signal15, apparently wasabi is difficult to get in Minneapolis?

So i've mostly just been spending all of my time reading, although i don't really feel that i've actually read all that much lately, strange. Been way fucking slacking off at work these past few days, mostly reading religion stuff online. It all started when Fantabulous_fun had posted a rebuttal to an undocumented assertion of signal15 on an atheism thread that'd been sitting on the mordantforum.com for quite a while. And so yet again, it got me all thinking about religion and the fact that so many people spend so much of their time on such a whimsically fickle notion that somehow has established itself as a cultural norm. Mark these words: Christianity will be a minority religion in the United States by 2o5o for sure, but i'm guessing about 15-2o years earlier than that. Following this train of thought it really makes me wonder what will become of all the churches and preachers and shit. i don't imagine most of the preachers would much like to go out and get "real" jobs, but likewise i can't imagine that they could all be supported if the population of people to support them will fall by 3o or 4o%, normally the generation would ease into adjustment, but i think the churches are going to lose members faster than their clergymen retire. It will also bring me closer to my dream of buying a church that goes "out of business" and living in it, maybe even playing cards in such a way as to not pay taxes on it. Although i do feel that churches should not be tax exempt as it is, as i think their habit of making people idiots is a general burden on the world. As time has gone on though i've become a lot less obsessed with the reasons behind what people believe, not necessarily the "reasons" per se, but the justifications people have for believing what they do, i just hate the "it's just how i feel" as an answer, it's a fucking cop out of self-evaluation and therefore a barrier to self-realization or actualization, but i've just become a lot less charged about the whole issue. Is apathy healthy? It had also come to my attention that atheists are apparently the most "hated" group in America according to religioustolerance.org, with polls showing a 5o% prevalence of people who would discriminate against atheists if given the chance, while all other groups including: blacks, Moslems, Jews, and homosexuals all having less than a 1o%. In my opinion any is too much for any of these groups, but it's the first time i'd ever seen any evidence that atheists are even discriminated against, although from personal experience i've always felt that finding out i'm atheist is one of the biggest turn offs for many people. Coincidently, as signal15 mentioned it's interesting that Christians are a minority in my immediate circle of friends, as most of us are either decidedly atheist, agnostic, or generally critical of the Christian organization. i also find it interesting that it's not a problem for any of our friendships (that i know of anyway) as none of us are bigoted enough to let it be. This is how society should be, but perhaps never will, for various reasons i'm not understanding of general society, nor its misplaced beliefs, mostly because i've found that general society has never been understanding of me nor my misplaced beliefs, and quite frankly i'm sick of explaining my completely rational reasoning to people who are just not capable of thinking rationally. i've long ago grown tired of hearing the same flawed arguments "proving" there's a god only to have the person putting them forth inform me that it's impossible to prove or disprove 'god' when his/her 'proofs' are countered by better ones. Or people reciting Pascal's Wager and then saying "huh, what's that?" when i ask them if they've ever heard of something called "Pascal's Wager;" if you can't even take the time to research common rebuttals to your arguments and start off talking to me like i'm an equal as opposed to some nitwit that would actually be awed by such tried rhetoric then don't even bother trying to "make me see" your point of view. Chances are i've either been there before or have already pondered that perspective on that train of thought. The general tenant of Christianity in this country seems to me altogether wrong that statistically people would be systematically rewarded for not thinking about their place in the world, and likewise others would systematically punished for having the initiative to cleanly question their surroundings. This isn't to say that there are no religious people who've arrived at their conclusions via thought, but the general trend is that those who think more and are better educated are more likely to not be religious. Whether this is because Christianity is the default faith group in this country, or if it's because religion depends, at least in large part, to blinding its followers, i am unsure, but suspect it's a healthy dose of the two... i was also doing some reading on Satanism as well, i'd always thought it was sort of counterintuitive to have a religion centered around a freedom of thought, as i always thought the thesis of psychological oppression and control was religion. It's always been my contention that one should not feel the need to subscribe to any religion if he/she is able to make decisions for him/herself governing his/her morality, what?-do people need to be told to think for themselves, sounds like those poor TV commercials that are based on the general concept of "you're independent and can think for yourself, so buy this product." Furthermore i've also not understood people basing their religion on faiths which, in large part, involves spell-casting and the like. There's about as much evidence for spells and incantations having any effect other than that of psychological effects upon the witnesses as there is for the Judeo/Christian flavor god. And spells don't claim to be "beyond human comprehension" either. Are our lives empty without anything in which to believe, is that the problem?

2oo21o17.1931


2oo21o18.234o

So an interesting thing happened to me tonight. i went to BARNES & NOBLE for my now, usually thrice-weekly white-chocolate mocha breve' and while i was there i started talking to this girl who was actually pretty cute. It's funny how the way interpersonal matters evolve, when i first saw her i knew nothing about her other than that she was physically attractive, after passing a few brief words she finds out i'm 23, educated, temporarily living here, and picked up on the fact that i am very unlike "most people" whatever that may mean. In turn i find out she's 19, more or less home-schooled, had behavior problems in her younger years, wants to make music for a living, and that she smokes & drinks. Beyond this she probably realized that i am very mature for my age, and my interests are really outside those of sex, drugs, partying et al. Beyond the apparent i estimated that sex, drugs and partying were at the forefront of her mind. It also turns out that this person didn't have a ride home and was planning on just walking from Barnes & Noble to her house, several miles away. She asked me if i minded giving her a ride home. Which brings up the idea that i didn't necessarily "meet" her out of happenstance, but rather she wanted to meet me so i could give her a ride home (or whathaveyou). i didn't mind. On the way to her house she asked me if i wanted to get any drinks or anything, which i told her probably wasn't a good idea, in my opinion she made it very clear that we could have 'hung out' for a while tonight with comments such as "so you're just going to go home by yourself then on a Friday night?" It was really the first definite opportunity i've had in a while to do something entirely enjoyably destructive, for better or for worse i turned down her offer. i think it's so interesting how i see someone and then start wondering about the person: religious beliefs, perspectives, what they plan on doing with their lives, what they do for fun, etc, etc. which inevitably moves on to questions like: i wonder what it would be like to spend time with this person, read a book together, just sit around and talk, etc. etc. Then when an opportunity arises where i'm pretty sure i could have done almost anything with this person, i'd rather just not do anything at all. i've always envied, in a way, people who would have taken her up on her offer, while at the same time pity them. On the same note i've always envied people like her who have a certain degree of freedom that i feel like i can never have, at the same time i pity her, and i pity myself. Her name was Becky. And i do hope i've not misconstrued anything that's happened tonight as meaning anything other than what it does... But men can smell sex, it's in their genes, and as asexual as i may be, i am a man... Interestingly enough i came across a ringing mobile phone left in the mall parking lot while leaving Barnes and Noble, i answered it and Becky and i waited for someone to drive to the mall and claim the phone, a rather upstanding citizen i've been tonight. Sometimes i get fucking tired of being "the good guy" who'll always "do the right thing." But i don't seem to do a very good job of breaking this mold when i meet new people, somehow i know if i ever lost this perception of myself i'd probably kill to get it back, or would i?-sometimes i think i wouldn't. Fear is the greatest of all Kings, and the greatest of all Evils. Fear the philosopher, the motivator and the tyrant, it is the ruler of all earthly things. Was Becky afraid tonight? i don't really know that she was, but she's simply afraid of a different monster. Men can smell fear also, although less-so than sex.

Rest assured my mind will be contemplating all the Becky "what ifs" for the next week or so, damn the fallible human male mind. If the theists are right (which i highly doubt) then our creator is a truly sick creature indeed, maybe we are the frogs in a world of water. "light a candle full of sinners, set the world on fire" said Marilyn Manson in Antichrist Superstar. Who would even bother jumping out, no matter how hot the pot 'o mother earth became? - the beast inside would love to die inside the flame, and become the fire.

2oo21o19.oo28


2oo21o2o.1827

The lazy piece of shit i am didn't bother getting up until 13oo today!-holy fuck that's phat.... anyway Kevin had his family birthday party yesterday (now a whopping 5 years old), if i were a parent i think it would be depressing how quickly the childhood years go, even since the time i've been here i've noticed Kevin change a lot. He's become a lot smarter, more independent, and a lot more manipulative. In the past 2 months he's learned, to a great degree, how to make people do things for him, and uses his mind to coerce Patti into siding with him against his sister. The reward of such behavior is, of course, getting his way. Seeing one's offspring change and grow up would be one of the most rewarding, frustrating, and depressing things one could ever experience... On the bright side it's obvious he's very smart, whether book-smart or not, in large part, remains to be seen, but he's extremely adept at reading people and he's starting to gain the ability to look behind peoples' actions and emotions and find the motive inside. He will be very good at getting along with people when he gets older, whether as a sycophantic, manipulative tool, or as a general "everybody likes him" tool remains to be seen... a fork in the road that eventually converges onto the same final path. The hedonistic perspective: nothing we do lies outside the final motive of benefiting ourselves; it would be fair to say that i'm a hedonist, although a holistic one at that...

Other than that it's been a slow weekend, i just figured out that i have about 6 hours of PINK FLOYD on my computer, which is pretty cool. i think that if i were a few years older i would have been a big-time Pink Floyd fan as he was to a generation older than me what Trent Reznor is to my generation, just as Ozzy Osborne was to what Marilyn Manson is. It's interesting that perhaps that these niches to be filled is a cultural need of some sort, every generation needing their own hero. It may be coincidental and anecdotal, though i doubt it, when myself and about 9 of my friends went to see Nine Inch Nails in Minneapolis a few years ago, the lighting was all done by the same guy who did the effects for Pink Floyd concerts. At least that's what SMEAT! told me after we'd gone... so who was Reznor and Manson replaced by thus far?-Eminem-what the fuck ever...

i also discovered that i have an ass-load of RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE as well, along with a bootlegged live album that Scheides once burned for me, but i've since lost, i'd heard a year or so ago that the band had more or less broken up, which really made me sad as Rage was always a band i'd highly admired... Apparently Tom Marello used to hang out with the guys from TOOL, which makes Rage even more cool... "One rhyme for your fucking mind Minnesota" says one track, makes me wish i'd gone to a Rage concert when they were still around. UAIOE once told me that Rage concerts always ended with a crowd enraged to the point of an orgy of anger and hatred, which i've always believed to be 1oo% within the realm of possibility as it's some of the most powerful music that i've ever heard, and certainly singing for a very real and tangible cause, racial inequality-namely the fact that the white man has fucked the Native American out of everything rightfully theirs, including dignity and happiness...

2oo21o2o.1956


2oo21o22.2o29

i ate at the most amazing place last night with my grandmother and the Nasus, a place called "KATSU" which is a Japanese restaurant owned & run by the husband of one of Yukosan's students. Apparently the restaurant was going to be on TV sometime soon for being good, which made them very happy that they were going to get some publicity, which they surely deserve as the food was absolutely amazing. In addition to a huge amount of food the owner also gave us all a huge plate of sashimi, i was so full that i didn't eat breakfast this morning. But i would highly recommend Katsu as a place to eat if anyone is looking for quality Japanese food North of Chicago...

So Halloween party this weekend!-i'm pretty fucking stoked. Sarita called me today and said that she wouldn't be coming which, if nothing else, allows me to leave whenever i want both leaving and coming back, although it would be really cool if she came along, on a certain level it is nice to just think about myself (which i tend to be good at). i think i may just leave after work tomorrow, which would put my in Minneapolis at about midnight - just in time for last call, i could really go for a pint of Guinness or New Castle. Being here really makes me wish the bars were open until after o1oo up north, stupid fucking laws.

So an update on the DC-Area sniper, he apparently left a note the other day saying something along the lines of "I am God," big surprise there, another religious zealot goes off the deep end. Reminds me of Mickey Knox in NATURAL BORN KILLERS in his final interview in Ptonga (sp?) Penitentiary (which was actually based in large part upon the interviews with Charles Manson) where he justifies killing people by saying something like "a lot of people are dead, but just don't know it yet... I think everyone has something in their past, some terrible thing they've done..." the religious conviction of self-fulfilling prophesy: 'god wouldn't let me kill this person if he/she didn't deserve it...' Of course i could be wrong and the killer(s) could be a non-religious nut, but i'm just going on the hunch that "I am God" has something to do with religion. i believe to date that he's shot something like 13 people (the most recent was a bus driver this morning), but it's actually pretty amazing that he/she hasn't been caught yet, there're a shitload of fucking cops all over the place and they can't seem to close off the area after an attack (even though they seem to be able to all be in the area a few seconds after), so he/she apparently knows his/her shit, and isn't totally dumb, just stupid. Reminds me of that guy who killed that abortion doctor a few years ago who ran off into the woods and no one could ever find him, although he would show up periodically at peoples' residence to get clothes and things. But the feds are using four U2 (spy planes) to look for him, but apparently the sniper is more adept at camouflage than are the feds at looking at pictures... very peculiar indeed. Will this rampage be remembered in 1o years? Somehow i think the only people who'll really care this ever happened will be those who know someone killed, and the gun-loving people as congress is using this sniper attack as a cheap way to pass through an assload of gun legislation, some of which is the first time in 7o years! The thing all these fucking policy-making idiots don't seem to understand is that if Americans were just less stupid and had more responsibility there wouldn't be a need for such a gung-ho police state with laws for everything anyone could think of. By never allowing people in this country to grow up we shouldn't be surprised when we have a country with 3oo million immature idiots running amuck.

2oo21o22.19o8


2oo21o25.1425

So i'm in Minneapolis at the moment and was in the dinkytown bookstore when darthmullet called and informed me that Senator Paul Wellstone was just killed in an airplane crash in Virginia (i think) a couple of hours ago, which is about the worst thing, politically that could happen to Minnesota right now. If the fucking idiotic republican assholes gain the senate seat decidedly bad things will happen to the role of Minnesota's voice as one of reason in a country full of the centre-right and right-wingers. Darthmullet also just called me to inform me that the senator portions of the Nov. 6 ballot will be blacked out and when the democrats find someone to replace Wellstone there will be an 'Official Ballot Supplement' and the senate votes will be tallied later. But man, Wellstone was such an amazing voice for Minnesota, very liberal and very concerned about the lives of real people living throughout the country, unlike the vested self-obsessed interests of the bulk of our government clones he was not a corporate puppet, and made it well-known that he would never speak on behalf of megalomaniac conglomerates that prey on the need of money in politics ... "It's going to be hard, my opponent has some big sponsors behind him, and I don't take money from those people, I'm not a representative of the Tobacco Industry, I'm here to represent Minnesota!..." Was the message of one very motivational speech he gave.

Anyway just a quick entry on this unfortunate set of events, my sympathy to Wellstone, his family, and his co-workers. 8 people died in the crash: Wellstone, his wife, daughter, 3 aides, and 2 pilots.

The average working person not only in Minnesota, but across the US will be the ones who will ultimately suffer most from his early departure.

2oo21o25.15o8


2oo21o3o.1727

Well, it was one hell of a weekend in Minneapolis, holy shit. Strangely long, yet, like all things enjoyable, but a fleeting moment in time...

Wednesday:
Left IL at around 143o or so, got behind some fast people, and arrived in Minneapolis in less than 6.5 hours, not too bad a trip eh? Anyway tizmo was fucking hungry so SMEAT!, mess, scheides, he, and i trekked out to William's in Uptown as Wednesdays are spaghetti night meaning that with a litre of beer one also gets a free litre of lackluster noodles in some bland parmesan-tainted spaghetti-O-tasting sauce... but it's "free" (nevermind that the beer is ten bucks) so - whatever... ok, i'm kidding, we've always liked Williams, fucking awesome place. Actually i'd never been there before on a non-weekend, non-holiday night, was really nice, and there was actually a place to sit... if ever i live in Minneapolis maybe that'll have to be a Wednesday-night tradition... After we were there for a bit signal15 and reddog met us for a couple of drinks. Since tizmo had to leave the house at o53o the next day (and write some paper or some shit) all of the villagers went home and signal15, reddog and myself stayed out until o1oo. Was nice to see everyone again, although bars closing at o1oo really suck since i've been living somewhere where this is not the case... back at the village after everyone was sleeping, so i think i just sat around for a bit and eventually went to sleep after reddog and signal15 headed off for home...

Thursday:
Woke up at a lazy 1ooo or 11oo, called scheides and he, SMEAT! and i went to lunch at Bangkok Thai in dinkytown. They actually made our food fairly spicy (although not really all that 'hot'), we (SMEAT! and i, scheides is a medium-man) were fairly impressed as usually we end up with a plate of bland & wanting blah-ness, i've always thought Bangkok was a pretty cool place, Thursday night tizmo, geo (my brother), Dizmo (tizmo's brother) and myself went up to the Blaine area for them to buy costumes for Saturday. i can't remember what the place was called, but it was one of those temporary stores, much like fireworks stands are (except in MN where fireworks are all illegal) with the space rented out from an adjacent mall, but without an entrance actually in the mall... the place was just a fucking scam-operation... that and everyone shopping there were either ugly, smelled bad, or both. i was told later that it was because we were in Blaine and everyone up there is like that, but personally i just think that all the low-rent assholes chose to go to that particular 'store' at that particular time... i never realized before how expensive a holiday Halloween actually is, Halloween paraphernalia is a fucking rip off (i guess this is America)! Anyway, i'd always thought Halloween is one of the better of American celebrations as it's not fundamentally amoral like all of the christianized days celebrating the destruction of the native Irish religions, or the supposed birthday of someone who's name is invoked as a justification to kill millions of people in later years; nor is Halloween like many of the government holidays celebrating the arrival of someone to America who commenced to kill everyone who had made the continent their home before his arrival... not only that but Halloween pisses off the religious right, which makes it cool in and of itself. True Halloween has pagan roots, but it's not like there's a bunch of pagans running around the states trying to re-write scientific school textbooks to reflect their incorrect view of the world. It's actually fairly accurate to say that i'm totally ignorant of what precisely the pagans did believe, were they polytheistic with natural spirits? Hmmm.... but in any event, geo and Dizmo went to some soccer game or some shit after the costume expedition, and tizmo, scheides, Anna, mess, SMEAT!, and myself grilled for supper... was pretty good, it's nice to know people who can cook, i had a finely SMEAT!-cooked steak, spicy rice and broccoli complemented with Zinfandel and Chianti. That night must have been really mellow, as i can't remember exactly what it was we did... must've just lied low...

Friday:
So ARN and 3 other people: Q, Jordan, and Narth, arrived on Friday at about o33o, i was, naturally, sleeping and woke up when i heard them clunking around like a bunch of drunken fat people on cocaine. Although i was too lazy to get up and help them, so they couldn't have been that loud.. i'm a pretty light sleeper though, which will come in handy for survival in the post-nuclear-war apocalypse i'm expecting to begin any day now... Takes us about 4oo years to get ready in the morning, but eventually we're actually ready enough to get the fuck out of the house. Tradition, tradition, tradition: - ate at Bangkok Thai for lunch, used to be one of ARN's favorite places to eat when he lived in Minneapolis... went to the bookstore in dinkytown after lunch where i learned about Wellstone's death, talk about casting a bummer on the day... After lunch most of the afternoon was spent by me waiting for Les and Bewitched to arrive from Fergus Falls and Fargo, respectively; while all the Arnanites along with, seems like, everyone else blew the day at Ragstock looking for sexy things to wear for the ensuing party. Was alright though as it allowed me to catch up on some organizing of files on LOST as i wanted to update tid242.com last weekend, but ended up not having enough time... Bewitched and Les both arrived at almost exactly the same time (at around 17oo perhaps), geo came over, and the group of 14 of us went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for supper (13=Les, Bewitched, geo, ARN, Q, Jordan, Narth, Jamie (another arnish person), scheides, Anna, mess, SMEAT!, tizmo) at around 19oo or so... What a cool place!-it used to be a mercantile exchange in ages past - just an enormous building, probably 25' ceilings supported by enormous wooden pillars and iron I-beams. Pretty cheap too, 7 or 8 bucks for soup, meal, and desert. The only funny thing was that we ordered carafes of Chianti of an Inglewood brand. We thought Inglewood was a brand of California wine, in which case we weren't sure of the logistics as to how it could actually be Chianti. In any event it was the worst fucking Chianti i've ever had in my life, i think the only time we've gone out to eat and didn't finish the wine, it was really flat with absolutely no complexity and a bit of a bitter aftertaste, which also disagreed with the stomach a bit - but what do we expect when we order the cheapest shit on the menu... next time we go there we'll defiantly have to buy the wicker instead... thinking about it, it must have been a California wine, the Italians would never fuck up a wine that badly... After supper bewitched left as she had to be at Mayo (Rochester, MN) for some bland doctor thing Andre (fiancé) was doing the following day. She didn't make it sound like it was all that exciting when she e mailed me a few days later, so i'm guessing it probably sucked... Anyway that Friday night we purchased some liquor (Grey Goose for $22, holy shit!-should've purchased 2... also purchased some bottom-shelf Jameson), Andrea showed up and all of us just had a really mellow, mellow night.... i think everyone hit the hay perhaps at o1oo or o2oo, Andrea went home about that time, i was feeling kind of depressed and ended up hopping on chat.yahoo.com, haven't chatted online for almost 3 years, kind of funny-Yahoo really cleaned a bunch of their chat shit up, a lot less spam-bots (in fact i didn't see any), and just seemed a lot better. As much as i've disliked that tastelessness of yahoo, they've got some smart people working for them... Online chat is so amazing, talked to people from Iran, Pakistan, etc. that night, where else can i go an talk to people 1o,ooo miles away for free? ... anyway i think i finally went to sleep at o6oo or o7oo or something on Saturday morning....

Saturday:
Woke up at around 1o3o or 11oo, from then on out it was party-prep until about 18oo. Quite a bit of work, but a more wholesome work than driving to some office and wasting your time doing some stupid shit you don't really care about (other than enough to keep your job so as to waste your time not caring another day). Tizmo, SMEAT!, mess, and i pretty much prepared the entire house (put a zillion computers away in the basement, moved furniture, covered the floors, shatterproofed the shit, etc etc) while scheides and Anna ran errands and purchased supplies. Actually mess and Anna had done much of the decorating earlier including spider-webs hand-painted decorations and the like, very, very cool. Subgenious and Les went to some Lord Of The Rings card-game tournament (which is what Les originally went to Minneapolis for in the first place) while the Arnish were out roaming the city. Anna's sister, Abby and her husband Rick also visited on Saturday and stayed for a part of the party, but i can't remember how much of it... but fucking shit (a bit of a rant here), Abby used to be a very smart, thoughtful and measuredly assertive person, as i remember her in my younger years anyway. i didn't talk to her in a few years, during which time she apparently met Rick, who i've always thought was an alright guy, dates Rick, gets engaged to Rick, and Marries Rick, then when i see her again she's totally different. Most people who i've not seen for a while (who i actually liked) are really refreshing to see. i always enjoy finding how people have grown, matured, and developed more as a person all the while retaining all the odd quirks or sharp tongue that i'd so grown attached to in the past. With Abby: not a hint of her old self at all, no growth whatsoever, instead she digresses into some sort of pre-adolescent-wanna'-be, you know, the age where it's "cool" and "cute" to act like an idiot... except when someone's 25 years old it's not quite as cute as when a 9 year old acts like a bone-head. Are there a lot of people in life who, in all respects, should be maturing, but instead become more and more moronic every time you see them? But damn, Abby never says anything and when she does it's something ridiculously shallow and thoughtless, and then to top it off it's always with some baby-ish bimbo-voice... why the fuck would one bother talking at all if that's the kind of shit that comes out of her mouth. It'd always been my belief that people spoke when they had something to add to a conversation, not when they wanted to pollute it with verbal coliform breath...

but anyway, darthmullet, UAIOE, and ananin arrived at around 17oo or so, between 17oo and 2ooo we made final preparations, carved pumpkins, finished the fog-chiller, tapped the keg (Newcastle, it was a BYOB party, but the village got a keg for the hell of it), ate pizza, etc, etc. ........ so then, the party?

People started showing up right around 2ooo or so... there were 2 live bands that played in the basement, and i think they arrived right around that time as well and started setting up, they were ISRR (I Shot Ronald Reagan) and some other band that were Fergus Falls acquaintances, but both bands turned out to be just absolutely awesome, although i was pretty much trashed by the time the second one played and can't remember what it was they performed or how long for, just that they were pretty awesome, by probably 21oo the party was more or less in full-swing, the fucking house was packed with people in awesome costumes, and it was a BYOB party so everyone also got what they wanted to drink too! Funny how that works... anyway since i was a Ninja i had a lot of trouble drinking through the mask, so i eventually just took it off, which was ok because it starts getting hot in a house full of people with full night-time dress on, UAIOE who was a biohazard guy (as in a Hot-Zone epidemiologist in a Level 4 biohazard suit) and was forced to do the same, even though there was a little hole in his mask where a beer bottle would fit... not only was the drinking difficult with the mask on, but also talking to people. No one could tell who the hell i was, much less that i was smiling at them etc etc, although i did get out of smiling for pictures... so, shit... someone who's dressed all in black with only a tiny slit for his eyes showing, with a sword at his side isn't the most friendly appearing person i would want to talk to either, although the mask is great for being sarcastic... anyway a skinny on some of the usual suspect's costumes:

  • SMEAT! - Jack Skellington (from THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS)
  • mess - Jack Skellington's baaaaabe' for which she sewed the outfit herself, most impressive
  • tizmo - a monk, Franciscan by the look of it
  • geo - a Greek god of some sort
  • Dizmo - a hick, he looked about the same as always to me (he was wearing a big-ass black wig and buckteeth)
  • Subgenious - a zombie, but i think i remember him looking more like a film crew member as he was snapping pics all night (so we have lots!)
  • BABS - a priest with huge buckteeth and a boner, i think perhaps THE best costume of the night!
  • signal15 - some sort of medical professional that gets to touch women...
  • scheides - DISCOTEK BABY!
  • Anna - a slutty Angel (the best kind of angel?)
  • ARN HEFNER, need i say more? - pants, no he wasn't wearing any of those...
  • reddog - i was drunk by the time he showed up, he looked like some sort of a soccer star or something though
  • UAIOE - Level IV
  • ananin - a Korean schoolgirl, man her and UAIOE are a cute couple!
  • t-dogg - a pink taco
  • Mandi - a slut, i think that's what she was "supposed" to be, but she looked like one of those sexbots on Austin Powers sexbots aren't sluts are they?...
  • darthmullet - purchased some hair-dye, fake facial hair, some clothes via ananin and dressed as:......UAIOE! his costume was so good that Mandi (remember at one time they were a couple) thought he was UAIOE when she walked in. yup-very cool...
  • anyone else i've forgotten about, there were an ass-load of exceptional costumes...
Man things were just rocking! - final guest-guestimate was 100+ people! Simply amazing, everyone smoked outside, nothing got broken, no cops showed up, everyone had enough to drink, there were no fights, nothing got stolen (although i still haven't been able to find the top part of my costume), and as far as i know no one went home crying or anything either... one caveat however: notable absences: Fantabulous_fun and Katie! Damn, would've liked to have seen them...

i, personally had started out the night with Newcastle, which was gone by 23oo at the latest, at which time i upgraded to mixed drinks, reddog wouldn't do gimlets that early which made darthmullet and myself sad as he and i purchased a bottle of Ketal One for this specific purpose earlier that day, speaking of which... reddog, darthmullet, UAIOE, and i had gone to Syrdiks to buy liquor (what a truly great store!) and the chic at our checkout line was absolutely fucking cool shit, just funny and then when i paid with my debit card, on which, instead of a signature it says "Request Fucking ID", she looked at it and said "Request Explicative ID?-that's awesome!" "well it's because no one ever checks and it pisses me off" i replied, "yea i know, they never check, this is great" and then she proceeded to show it to some of her co-workers, so whether she was an immediate fan of mine or a kindred spirit, i thought she was cool shit, should've invited her to the party, but it didn't cross my mind... oh well... but in any event i had darthmullet and ARN and some other people, make me mixers for maybe an hour or so (really i had no idea what time it ever was the whole night), during which time UAIOE got sick and needed to purge his gut of excess ethyl alcohol outside, for which darthmullet babysat (UAIOE's everyone's baby) until ananin and Les took over... finally reddog succumbed to the lustful Ketal One passions his heart was craving... After that everything was downhill drunk from there, no idea how fast the passage of time claimed the hours, alcohol brings new meaning to the theory of relativity. So while i was absolutely trashed i started talking to someone i used to go to school with that i'll call V, and i can't remember if we started hanging out together, if i was following her around, or if she followed me or what (it seems rather pathetic to me now that i can't remember), but i think one of the last things i clearly remember was meeting her and having that realization of "oh, i know you..." otherwise i can remember vague frames from the night, sort of like being in a strobe-light, just bits and pieces of different events trapped in their respective absolutism with no idea of how they got that way, or what events happened in between those glimpses. Exchanging words with Jeff (SMEAT! and tizmo's boss (and scheides' on Tuesdays and Thursdays)) and his friends, dancing with V and her friends, taking out my contacts, my glasses falling off my face into a garbage can (i had them the next day so i evidently took them out again too, although i don't remember that part so clearly), getting a blanket out of the van, some guy with a huge mask trying to talk to me (still have no idea who it was behind that mask, reminded me very much of that old guy from THE LOST HIGHWAY), i remember trying to get darthmullet to sing a song for V and i after the bands were done (i don't think he did), i remember ARN Hefner making V and i a cosmopolitan, which i was glad to have not finished the next morning (in fact i think i only had perhaps a sip), i remember laying in a recliner with V while the world spun around and around in a never-ending tumbling just-got-off-the-merry-go-round type kaleidoscope of familiar faces and objects, i can remember thing to myself that the last time i'd seen the room spin that much i had spent the night puking in signal15's bathroom, and that i was just fucked - a horrible, yet good, feeling at the same time, very peculiar. But most vividly i remember "playing" with V. like the rest of the drunken night, just bits and pieces of time interposed into an oddly despondent timeline with my now, sex-curious mind to work out what happened when the strobe light wasn't illuminating my world. "...but an hour will pass with hardly any notice while sitting next to a pretty girl, that's relativity..." said Einstein, and i would agree... Anyway, i suppose to exonerate the involved parties: V and i didn't do anything dangerous (emotionally dangerous maybe?), just fooled around some, i have no idea for how long, or what time we went to sleep, although i am under the distinct impression that the party raged on in a whirlwind upstairs (we were in the basement with all the unwinders....) for some time after we'd gone to bed, relativity-a minute passes without notice and sleeping next to someone consuming my thought with an impulsive compassion gives way to an entire night, day, and weekend lost as but just a simple moment in the far away...

Other bits that are of interest but i didn't actually witness: darthmullet got sick that night "if i hadn't have had that gimlet" he said the next day, heh; reddog apparently got trashed doing shots with someone from SMEAT!/tizmo/scheides' work's wife, she apparently drank some other people under the table before the party (and subsequently they were drunk/passed out and couldn't come), then did the same with reddog at the party, in tizmo's words "you cannot out-drink this girl."-pretty fucking cool if you ask me... Mandi ended up sleeping with Les (yes, just sleeping), i've got some pics of them laying next to each other on my camera, just looks really right for whatever reason to me to see them laying next to one another, i've always liked both of them very much, i think they must tweak the same chemicals in my brain because it just seemed to me a perfect chemistry, they laying together. All of the people i was hanging out that night thought Mandi was just the coolest girl ever (which she comes damn-near close by any measure), and she actually (not that i was surprised) looked really sexy as a slut/sexbot/whatever, i was actually taken a bit aback when i greeted her at the door... Anyway apparently later that night reddog ended up taking care of darthmullet as he was trying to steal ananin's sleeping bag as she slept with UAIOE, and reddog wanted darthmullet to quit bothering her. Reddog also, apparently, gave a bunch of girls rides home, which, considering he couldn't have been sober, seems to me possibly the worst thing that'd happened all night. i had also heard the next day that tizmo threw up in the back yard, apparently he had a little bit too much of a good time as well eh?

Saturday into Sunday there really wasn't much of a cut-off...

Sunday:
Daylight savings time, had an extra hour to sleep, which means that i woke up at o7oo instead of o8oo, i got some water and laid back down, unsure if i was going to be hung-over or not, since i was still mostly drunk i couldn't really tell, and i then laid back down with V. After another trip upstairs to get her some contact lens solution i think we laid together talking until 11oo or 12oo maybe? In any event ARN was the first awake person we talked to, and SMEAT! was the first upstairs person we talked to. Not sure exactly how SMEAT!'s night went, but he was super fucking chipper that next morning, it was really reassuring, in a strange sort of way, to see him the next morning, dunno if it's because his was a very familiar face, or if it was something else... but i just felt very good about being there, like that by seeing him i knew that nothing bad happened to anyone the previous night... we had about 3 batches of 1o people each go to Papa's that morning, V and her friend left before breakfast. i was fighting with my stomach most of the morning (as was darthmullet), which sucks because their food is just so damn good... i sat at a table with Les, SMEAT!, and signal15 (signal15 had gone home that night then come back then gone home again, and so met us at Papa's), talk about a group of people that one would never get bored talking to, too bad i felt too sick to really be much of a conversationalist...

Cleaning up the house took maybe an hour or two at the most, quite incredible really. And with the final tally in i think it was unanimous that this was an awesome party, many people told the Mankeys that it was the coolest party they'd ever been to, people complemented the house on the bands: "i've never been to a party with a good band before, ever, and you guys had two awesome ones!" someone told SMEAT!; the decorations: "holy shit this is awesome!" people would say as they walked into the fog-filled entry-way; and the list goes on... it was by far the best party i'd ever been to. This blew away the One Article of Clothing party earlier this year by all measures (except a hot-tub would be pretty cool)...

a few hours later (around 153o) i left for Chicago, and everyone else had left for their respective homes... it's funny how weird things stick in the head: "tid, did you get that girl's number that you slept with last night?" signal15's voice echoes in my thoughts maybe because i don't believe i've ever been asked anything like that before, life is strangely beautiful and exotic sometimes...

so i hadn't written very much in quite a while, so i was really feeling rusty while writing all of this, it'll probably suck when i go back over and read it later, *sigh* maybe because i feel like i've already described the party about 1ooo times already, maybe i should just post a bunch of e mails in here... a lot has been happening around the world, and i wanted to write about some of that too, but i don't think i have time tonight, honestly i didn't write for 5 hours, there was supper and reading and phone-calls and shit mixed in there...

2oo21o3o.2225

end.1o.2oo2



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