Project II

2001041805tid242|[the test]
2001041807tid242|[eavesdropping inspiration]
2001042401tid242|[jesus saves]
2001042501tid242|[the past is all we are]
2001042502tid242|[those i love]
2001042503tid242|[teeter toys]
2001042703tid242|[only human]
2001042706tid242|[watch eyes]
2001042709tid242|[long eyes]
2001050201tid242|[pretty pretty poor]
2001050202tid242|[phone sex]
2001050204tid242|[the cure]
2001050401tid242|[cabbage patch]
2001050402tid242|[a world turns]
2001052301tid242|a mes amen
2001061504tid242|[grey coffee]
2001061505tid242|[trevi tantra]
2001070702tid242|[a new dena8]
2001071001tid242|[a love unconditional]
2001072401tid242|deja vu
2001080701tid242|[you've become]
2001082001tid242|Viracocha's return?
2001082401tid242|[M Hartwig]
2001082902tid242|[a dead dena8]
2001091301tid242|twin tarot
2001101801tid242|[ghost baggage]
2001112502tid242|[the ease of her control]
2001112901tid242|damaged apostate
2001120302tid242|feeling of cliche'

seeing through this veil of dark this rusted world shines through in words of solitude

test, test, test, test progress beta.04

lines: 2600

i but without a home
imprinting virgin eyes
a man without a mask
stands exposed to the blades

liberation: cramps & tramps ramps camps for cars & people street eat cement feed suck on straw man-made un-natural never be full empty glass half not what we ordered disordered frantic disturbed ants scurry broken home tortured existence sustenance life eat meat seat chair throne overlooks pool of despair pool of broken lovers abort abortions genes in the vat boiling writhing thriving in their future failure bringing back last the past mate falls from hands too tight inside too loose doesn't fit inside package piece puzzle not solved unresolved mysterious fact of fire desire admire pain the only thing though not real feel hurt pain in my denied cried crying broken piece broken piece puzzle i world wanders wonders why & i fucking wonder why 2001041801tid242

untitled: the drug i see everywhere despair so far from me tight looks hooks in my flesh billboard 1 click mouse all i am feeble timid background static footprints in the snow between the channels my mark i wish could see be me not fallen calling the glass tube wire doesn't hear though mocks serendipitously i contradiction addiction clothes that sell money the body doesn't want the clothes not flesh warm body writhe slide sweat dark breath nape of neck smells alcohol flows like water from lips already drunk flacid tight rhythm of life strife masked flasked corked genie used up wishes future time tumbles rolls falling lost listless blissless bed of nails lies in my back poking scraping clawing pain & pleasure lie attention retention distension nothing without shout clout have over me hair wet like soap never make me dream clean here exorcist these demons disappear magical succubus rouse rus ruckus fuss falling in dark rooms twisting visions in my head can't remember bed or floor couch crotch i sleep in fold between the V cushion no mons mound soft pokes bristled carpet torn underside bites holds me there intoxication inebriation drift away pass out far not me you who knew what when is it now who what? alcohol alcohol heaven in this torment catalyst for change jeckyl jackal hyde me keep me warm in velvet carpet sweaty hot skin darkness keep me warm cool damp heat feat not me not fucking me but this is why i drink 2001041802tid242

class time
flows hour glass marks
time not good enough threshold of perception
cesium clock on my back carry burden swatch, timex not good enough
weight of the world on back heart attack not my fault victim sin theirs punish
me smash me smear me let me die dry not fly cry here with nothing
but atom clock atom bomb on my
back ready to
kill you

abstract, too far fetched
work ignore ignorance
afraid of the light
break a sweat on forehead
foreskin, but not tasted
salt lost in haste
makes wasted billions of babies
won't be born, life
into a world of nothing but dead
state of mind can't find
kind, words my kind
nothing good to say
speak in silence rhymes
riddles, enigma
broken by the cock-yankers
crack in my heart
figured, fingered out
shout, no one hears
frequency receiver monopoly
don't want competition
they just want to fuck
and die & be forgotten
just like everyone else
just like god.

untitled [the test]
herds, animals
run scamper
on the highway
looking for the light
fire in their eyes
they wish but they fall
down, they fall down
on the pavement
and wait for god to
fuck them.

untitled [disappear]
inside your bed
clinging to me
like the whole world might disappear

inside your bed
when i hold you
the rest of the world could just disappear

and i wouldn't fucking care
and we wouldn't fucking care
world wouldn't fucking care.

untitled [eavesdropping inspiration]
like some hunger
consumes me
action without thought
it ravages my body
mind so far behind
seeing, but not believing
falling, distant pain
intimacy to me
is hearing that breath
after it's all over
gasping, whishing it were dead
so long it's been
since i've felt
i've heard that intimacy
i used to think was love
so long has it been since
i've been there
feeling like those avatars
that don't exist
but break us down anyway
feeling that ache of hunger
in my veins
coursing through unbecoming flesh
telling me
who i am.

untitled: eyes shine light, like something alive inside, lighthouse, mirrors dead dark abound of night around, shows shines true through endless blight of blinding sight ignorant might rules could have not for you law order disorder recorder spout past the, dogmatic rhetoric used, garbage in before still making, breaking us into landfill paper trail leads to fallen stars burned in holes locked inside souls no longer, love no longer shines, grown cold old & used up up & away super dream fallen scream torment hole john's basement so many never love above bleak black moooon shines down remember the night & you are the light, inside died? eyes lies shine through & represent everything, only thing i seem to remember & the world goes away 2001042001tid242

untitled: people wander, wonder look! look! i look away gaze astray wrong people not for me me not see lines in boundaries the sand driving sex, sects society house not want family taught fear hatred hurt flirt lies of love hate what we think don't know what where we flaunt want to hear plea see key to this skeleton door shuts closet secrets inside lies love lurk losing hope lost fear near time here bars shattered tattered clothes torn off with eyes i scream eye burns holes tolls taken mistaken fury misplaced complacent adjacent parallel things grow into the light not shadow here cold feeling sun so far away, stay please warm in the cold must die try to slink crawl divide & maul away made to melt clay fire forge of hell death makes us hard phallic horns fuck tortured breath screaming pleading for life, sit back heart attack don't stop now was is always a part of this, can't end, mend pretend only conniving smiles see life in limbo yohimbe me give heat blood sweat lost to your eyes blind by, not only the truth, rambling scrambling running around frantic manic satanic point hate at me lost hopeless, lost cost too dear to keep give fucking give and all said & done work labor sweat fucking birthed and in the end we have nothing 2001042002tid242

untitled [away]
again sit, stare, divided & alone
drone on of love & fields of daisies
where smiles blindly look toward the light
as it wilts their flesh
hang heads in shame as tears of heaven
rejuvenate their roots of humanity
the sky falls before i can love
home so far away
stranded abroad, endeavorous astray
this isn't life love via electron
screaming C=E=love down a wire
my voice rasping a million miles away
sun shines hope lights silken thighs
of faceless torment i smile blindly
toward the monster & remember i'm only human
so far away.

1 month after the fact
the feat
passed time flows
like everyone is dead
and my life in a hole
the same one buried
with all the pretty people.

untitled [punk]
the end blast
from the past
devouring flame
blame passed on
killing all these petty people
falling lives in flock
with despair your face
pretty thing i see
in the end
beauty is the end.

untitled: eyes bright, blinded headlight fear god driving flock highway life falls broken paint red road used slammed busy people den disease spread legs open closet door innocence inside life heart beats people down underneath lost continent conquest christians rape minorities innocent killed by pigs eat people mafia cleaners work for the rich, but poor themselves hate themselves love & fear makes tears no difference we all die in the end of the world armageddon angels white of death black boon in darkness night stars so far away like people creatures content to die hospice give up hopeless depression paxil, prozac, no zyprexa treat ice cream in summer snow abounds cold sunlight blisters skin freezer burned dry me out inside used taken up to heaven disappear no logic creationism feat spontaneous generation make light good alcohol key turning mind locks me in fit receptor agonist antagonist people don't fit in excluded with worthless products no one would buy, make them spend life away giving love for crack in heart breathe in instant orgasm channel 69 loves to sell first one's free but dollar bills build empires built on backs broken bones menopause malnutrition maladapted failed to thrive foster nuclear age bomb explodes of wisdom not young but inside babe' crawling doggie style turns on perverts touch little children social incest says ok on the books legal paralegal lawyers want to be but judges are judging beating god judges are god high ascension absolutism scoundrels word law of the land kill those that aren't a part outside body limb-from-limb not eye for an eye exclusion remove blemish society acetacylic acid for money clean pigs fucking pigs do dirty work no different from the takers eyes bright with fire not animals, but creatures drivers in american suburban creature killers highway blood red commies untrue in the states moles burrow deep into our hearts stop beating when pigs are god & fucking pigs are god 2001042302tid242

untitled: buy raffle ticket thicket lost in the brambles broken shambles campbells soup is good food for idiots bigots buy with money sustenance in a can made by men mining metal make iron bars hold in flesh not fit kit make society paint & love real fucking far away lost fucking lost holes fucking holes framed in valentine phallic colors fuck with your mind just a hole in the wall looking for another but cat in the way scurry hurry buy more american gamble raffle good commercial cause for exploitation jesus people bash with books judged by cover though never read words not put into phrases sentences pieces of parts of hole wants to sell you make you hard & righteous head fucked soft cushion sick silk break blisters bleak book gave to you the you have a chance like lottery, they throw rocks at the lucky one red dot death hindu different therefore strong wrong thong on our barrier contraceptive to entry forbidden fruit though can see smell almost tastes of leather sweat bound book with rigid spine virgin page not torn from spread cover not bled read head not inside book, book sex is not my head though theirs & book leather thong hides pain hurt inside mask for valentine sweats eats heathen hot whores in sin within pages of book not read though fucked & our place even in hurt dirt is fucked by book not read dollars spent on lottery raffle thorns never win but try, the wrong fucking way, with the book never cracked 2001042303tid242

untitled [jesus saves]: wrapped in plastic latex cookie jocks cocks devour chocolate chip ice cream de mint tea leaves falling autumn twilight zone begets night falling stars glam hollywoodstove burns faggots abused lovers die for sins of jesus saves on bags of cookies with coupon paper milled killed trees leaves collapsing economy commercialism sucks dick faggots in the fire desire not restrained forced down dead like all of us waiting to end time flowing water falls wears down rocks like jesus does not make water flow only impedes flows turbulence airplane shakes victorian orgasmic wasted talent useless garbage goes to landfills your head with horrible things undefined by science cannot answer questions asked by children put into world spins around ashes ashes we all fall down to heaven's angels save not people love dogma past dogs bite with no loyalty to king & countryside grasses swell beneath wind blown apart by blast from bomb explodes killing pieces of broken toys played with out life spent time passes & we look funny clown frown out of stile project cannot change by breaking mirror vanity his favorite ideas polluted by media whores whisper lies of love felt not logical delusions govern lives lived by people don't care bears hug to kill enemy armies always at war and hate people don't think like used toys to kill cookies saved by jesus fucking christ kills innocent victims defending heart & home in his stead fucked head ache for book read between the lines of cocaine lifts into the trash filled landfill full of horrible things called cookies purchased when stock was low lift up save by jesus falling like leaves brown from trees ending cycles of life death born again recycle trash our gods swingers 70's pendulum loosing time still flows just lost rock makes turbulence in life, lost in swell dogma grandeur of things we could just throw away, far away from there rock sinking in the air thrown in hate disruption corruption church of jesus can go to hell 2001042401tid242

untitled [the past is all we are]:
remember days past
love lost & money spent
people smiled, then turned away
and alone you stand with
dimpled knobby knees
will anyone ever love you
time seeps in
hesitation, contemplation
did he ever love you
where is he now
but not here where
does he care
not here, but you still are
frown in mirror sick
perversion of the truth
mark of this disease
and in the corner
i see your thoughts
& put my clothes
back on.

untitled [those i love]:
men talk & leer watch flesh
as it graces by
the look of love died
abused & killed away
the sight of mind
fucked by pot & nicotine
i see opacity in your eyes
no depth to your thought
& i cry when you look at
those i love
for you could never love them.

untitled [teeter toys]:
when people smile
but not at me
inward rejoice
smile at themselves
practiced mirror
hope in hopelessness
they smile to light
their day
and burn
the toy world abounds

lost impulse
train of thought
derailed track
falling down
and what you wanted
long forgotten
as you watch
the TV

their belief
made apparent
and nowhere left
to run
caged by their
and i
nowhere left to hide
caged in their
just dying for
their sins

sun comes up shines down on people dressed in showing clothes
three moons past the shortest pseudocycle wandering ignorant forage for sex
unbecoming dreamers cry silently masked by their own cipherousness
music beats heartbeats, expressing season's solitude too lost to ever be found.

beauty lost as person becomes apparent mask removed to show blank faces and dead dreams wept from bleary eyes

untitled [only human]:
circle forms with inside & out
persecution or indifference
secret circles sects form rings
behind closed doors to persecute
its members inside this world
and i conniving eye wanders astray
from this feat of failure
i choose to ignore

the immature choose endeavors
away from humanity's saving
grace chaste virgin thoughts
foreshadow exploitation of
innocence always expected
yet always destroyed.

untitled [sun]:
horns echo shot rings silence
sweating under heat of midday work
striving for a place amongst winds of change
falling tones lift weary hearts
no longer know autonomy nor freedom
caged into a world made for tyranny
shivering in sorrow void loneliness
as sun beats heat upon me
only that i feel oppression in voices
confined to limits of limited flesh
speak for minds that will never fly
in heaven made for imperfection
and the sun tells all.

untitled [watch eyes]:
eyes watch marks time
passes to make money to buy
watch eyed through time passed
over lure of money.

blank page stares back
blank thoughts
falling from lips
never touches thoughts
of another.

brings bugs out of
stepped on by
those without any
reason to live.

untitled [long eyes]:
hardened eyes long road for something real in world full of nothing.

pens work write music for another to sing
thoughts stray, dwell on someone that never thinks the same
wasted heart passed out to be tasted
by carnivores with silken legs
shaved by lies to attract
thoughts not thought by another
and in her silken light pens
flow freely spilling ink upon
clean sheets, making music
for another.

day beats down
upon the square
where the ignorant
work in sweat
silence almost rings
echoing night hath
passed away.

sleeping shambles
allude to past fruits
laid to waste
tasted, thought, remembered
better in sorrow
where we stand
different times
mean different things
though no longer
the real me
i let die.

untitled [pretty pretty poor]:
i can see eyes
lust for things
pretty things
not wanted after

i can feel lovers
stare at legs
pretty legs
unwanted after

i can feel needles
poke at me
poor me
mundane after

untitled [phone sex]:
cellular phones ring
echo in silence
not supposed to ring
for not one really loves them
they just call for sex.

people walk by
matching, scratching
outfits don't fit in
nor do they.

untitled [the cure]:
sun rises
masks shadows
i know are there
and your kiss
chases away demons
that always live inside.

untitled [cabbage patch]:
christians kill little children
with voices meant to corrupt adults
dropping seeds of sorrow
husks of hatred
into the fertile soiled
by all our shit
sprouts weeds of wickedness
damned like little children
blossoming the hymns of hell.

untitled [a world turns]:
damaged creatures
limp on legs licking
lollipops like bloody oysters

destroyed adolescents
mental squalor screams
obscenities like dirty little whores

and fallen wings
still turn a world
unworried by what it's done.

waves of nausea crash upon me
turning my center inside-out
dead things wash ashore reminding me
that which i killed, truths immortal
dead no more
and alcohol gone, screams within
this keyless lock that holds me in.

in the dark headlights fly
beautiful like falling stars
roads make veins of the city
bringing life to the stagnant
loosing speed, loosing life
pain, withdrawal from the drug
leaves me empty, heartless, bloodless
another star falls to earth
and one more night has lost its soul.

institutions grow empty, weary
as those within doubt their own existence, importance
so strong is the bondless, qwarkless drug, addiction
withdrawal that kills brings kings crashing upon bent knees
lovers bent on dDOS attacks like wild smiles
neglecting flesh for a cause that feels no shame
glory, holy, shit, fucked by arrogance, ignorance
lovers die, incapable oxymorons fall like kings
without a church, fall like angels without a book
without the sickness, we fall without a cause.

leather creaks, cracks & jingles tingles
tempts & taints me
fishnet black strapped silky smooth
studded strips attack cannot stand tall
standing too fucking tall
too much, too big, too hard to ignore
twisted eyes, thighs, and i'm the whore.

untitled [libra]:
libra sways violently silently
inside my thought
the body or the head
prophetic lover lay beside
twisted mind rolls down mons
like benzene rings so long ago
convoluted inside itself
the body or the head
the vise tips scales
1 world in 2
i breath moist ambivalence
and put myself in you.

untitled [reality]:
destiny wreaks as fortunes fade
and friends that love would run away
people stray & light must set
but all these things will never die
and all alone as always i
[i] see the truth, but live the lie.

you're the only one
who would hold me up
when i'm falling down
the rest would run away
and leave me here
all alone
as you have done

people walk, assume together
but everyone loves no one.

a mes amen:
is it real?
a moment of difference
changes the world
makes it something else
lost in the darkness
envelopment of sleep
shrouds alcohol
and what i become
under its sweet breath
breathed upon your nape
as gentle claws scratch tenderness
felt beneath my muscles
felt through bone & time
seeping into my enthusiastic heart
so unreal, yet strangely familiar
it's a drug
draws more tightly than
nicotine, only tasted once
yet still crave
& all it represents
the prancing horse trapped
in leather upon my back
shrieks masochism
powerful like Mozart
gentle, perfect, soft like the rain
it terrifies me, fitfully, inside your touch
i want to be with you
for now, this moment, one in many
just objects we grapple with the truth
and on the ground
entwined amongst many slumbering singles
this moment slips slowly away
blissfully, painfully aware of its mortality
as evidenced to me
by sadness seen
behind clear grey marble eyes
and in silence & in darkness
with your body
i wonder if they ever feel
and i wonder if you even like me.

and sad thoughts spill forth
from sad, misplaced people
trapped in a place
no one can seem to understand
lost joys forgotten smiles
fall from faces, people
show screen of masks
fall from complication
and the world such a simple place
amongst the frowns, feel it down
suns set, forget they rise
and they only see themselves
they only look at me.

one night & people become different
mixed messages tumble thoughts
into the fray i call desire
where one lets go to leave for drown
me under icy cold shoulders
once the heart of so many nights
now just like all the nobodies
perceptions shifting mirrored kaleidoscope
the parts move from center to periphery
& vise versa
beauty changes, feelings changes thoughts
lead driven by fear & guilt & lust & understanding
so often by the lack thereof
and of all these simple things
tumbling inside gypsy's desire scope
complicated truths emerge
to see beauty is felt not thought
known not questioned
taken not made
myself believe
false things
that still seem real
but truths died long ago
stay behind to haunt me
and haunt you & everything
i know turns eyes toward
past feelings i wish had gone
away, pointing fingers knowingly
at myself i hardly see your eyes
only prismatic beauty hidden
behind a world seen
inadequately through tears
inside eyes not close damaged
holes torn open by myself
closed to myself so long
believed i could never fix
but now know only i could make
and only i could break something
like this, almost real
only i could change people become
different, amalgamating into
homogenous colors grey blurred clouds
swirl apathetic, accepting my fate
my fall, my inexistence
accepting the meaninglessness
of everything i thought was
real. and nothing
for that's what i believe
you've left me to
hold on to nothing

closed doors hide huddle tryst tempty tangle
tantalize takers who have yet to kill
feelings wander, seep through locked places
chained by feelings of humanity unfelt by
those behind oak strong stone stolen hate
kills the innocent, forgotten in heat of fucking
heat of fucking conquest, creatures see, no longer
feeling, things no longer felt and the conquered
are left in darkness deeper than before
the innovis killers hath opened the door

the sun shines bright, might, peering down
only illuminates life & shows my frown
would be smile that walk today
passing pleasure won't fucking stay
days blend and nights show more
in morning fucked, outside the door
leaving me, this hole to fill
another smile, one more to kill

untitled [maybe]:
time wasted learned things never
make me better, fucking people
i could never love, drinking
things for feelings past. live life
stars dying morals decay
as life pervades, invades
thy temple, my mind
head, pants, clothes, purchased
to be cool, to make those
worthless people want to
fuck, want to drink, want
to die, inside of me
things falling, so far deeper
than i am, so much harder
than i am, so much better
than i could ever be
you, little hands touch
little people, worthless
jewelry scratch blood
carve worthless flesh
i whittled away under
your breath, melted away
falling into your eyes
if only i could
see, maybe i could save myself
maybe stop falling, sinking,
maybe i could swim
could know, be real
no fucking maybe

everything's falling down crashing apart around you
you make me, break me, take me away from
this, from myself, pushing me into a place
much deeper, against a wall much, harder, colder
the blades much sharper, pain feels almost real
like i almost love, like i could almost fucking care
keep me hurting, crying, burning, hold me down
twist this life, inside out & help me, make me
know, that i am real, that i still feel
that i still cry & whisper sex that makes me die.

lost numbers, irrational thoughts stream forth
like pi, phi, senseless, depthless in complexity
somehow makes means dreams dreamt thoughts
felt for falling feelings change lovers sing & cry
used cars, don't smell, infatuation die, optimism
pessimism, euphemism, euthanasia, just le me
be, die, cry, this is me, can't hold feeling
good inside your touch, eloquent fingers express
what stupid mouth cannot touch you inside feelings
shiver in the warmth held bone prison bars
white knuckles clench handles, holding freedom lost
wings can't fly angel doesn't sing and i can't cry
strategy falls, cards laying as they lay beside one
another naked body breaks shed speed high head crashes
dead upon my thought, conscious thought i'd shed
but here to hurt bleed, plead, need to feel cold. strength
in majority rule iron fist clenches heart holds still
stops beating me down and i could almost be free
so close to everything i hate everything
and i can never fucking be

messiah: driving riding time though tunnel vision blinds eyes stray toward dark things surround life hollow full of nothing i can hide heart lurch pulling feelings masked expressions twisted hunger like starving children reaching for a wilted breast bosom soul stone can never heal cuts deeper than wheelbarrow lumbering shambler pushes furrows coital flatus farther into soiled by the act of god hates people like institutions sell sex sells heaven fucks with minds of children starving for love to hate those that love love itself dies like a whisper breathed in silence, echoes background phone ringing hardly heard your call heart pounds in ears while inside another inside my bed inside this hole spinning chaos webs silky spider smooth it's a trapped love flower wilted in soiled tracks of impersonal wheelbarrow lusting dogs whimper tears of neglect head not in pillow she could still look and see life passing lies dealt by shamblers looking to make furrows flatus fucking killing me in all this darkness there is a voice smooth steady quiet angel your wings lift me from this falling place i wish i did not know. the light at the end of the tunnel vision feels close as your touch melts gothic gargoyles adorning this life, and i fall down as you hold me up, soul bows servitude to the only one that could ever save me tonight, not just tonight you're the only one who could ever save me 2001060801tid242

simple words so eloquently describe
me with whispers screaming hate
from hissing lips laughing in the dark
i see feminine feline unfeeling eyes
see in dark i try to hide things
unbecoming once seen another snicker
escapes bloody lips i once kissed
out of love's not real but plays
with its prey and strings me out
for just one more day.

i wish wishes pretty thoughts
make daydreams so unlike reality
the deeper delved dying hope
that this life could bear the fruit
of a better place falls by the
way-side in a world of rules
reality begets itself & forces misery
upon the simple like me
so simple, i just want you
but so real, i can only feel indifference.

untitled [traffic]:
the hit breathed becomes the rush
forcing air from this useless chest in
throws of ecstasy not felt while fucked
for money buys hits throws life into
ecstasy only felt while fucked on crack.

wander, aimless shackled vagabonds
toss & turn in the night.
discontentment begets resentment
of those mirror faces plush like them
seeing eyes & nothing behind
we loathe the wicked can't seem to find.

clock runs circles around
fat people sit
lethargic, blissful, ignorant
letting the clock run its circles around
and crying when the whirling world passes
passes them by.

people like feelings, isolation
distant thoughts so far away
i could never reach
even as i hold the mirror of sympathy
they would turn away
walk away
painful pleasures can't seem to touch
a thousand lives a thousand times wasted.

untitled [grey coffee]:
coffee caffeine opens mind
gives hours to a fleeting life
consciousness, control
grey goose dreary crystal pure clear
alcohol opens mind
takes life from fleeting hours
almost as if self-actualization
steals future lost control.

untitled [trevi tantra]:
lime in tonic burbles bliss burned
by aliquot too hot too high too dry to die
for carnal carriage jittering bouncing on
long hard rails to salvation, to the end
another gurgle, giggle comfortable icon of discontentment
spills forth from empty bottle phallically
drained in stupor by flushed moistened lips
wrapped destructively, painfully around the fountain
spewing forth indifference, inebriation, forgiveness
my geyser vomits only the remembered parts of life.

i cry rely on dogs abused still whimper
without feeling pain pervades penis penetrates perfect
temple burns believer's dire fire red silken sash soft
spoken advertisement claims paid promises to save my souls
worship secret gods in their own temples shared by
hungry followers, hungry dogs still sad after abuser through
bitten bark not thick enough to protect the first love
ran away while words of hate hath paved the way
long hard road to your temple i take the low and moral fray
decay and weary vagabond i sleep in you for just one day.

so time passes, faster than expected
but still silence, without a call
nothing to do begets lonely places
where only i sit, alone
some say life is simply waiting
for something better, some say
it's just the slope to death
a gift or a torment simply is
time the end to all things blissful
and it passes, and it passes
maybe faster than expected, but
you still never called
and it still simply is.

not depressed nor possessed by sadness
repressed wishes regressed pandora's
painful box of flesh, just bored
tired not sleepy drowsy weary damp
grey fog not parting consuming the
light, taking the heat making
me me again but an insect
seeking the flame i wander
wary toward the churning of the
grey stillness, nothing's churning
nothing's moving, nothing happens
because i'm bored, because i'm bored

ants place gentle footsteps upon the stone
unbeknownst the sacredness of their path
across warmth radiated from inanimates given
resemblance of life by our father, the sun
inanimates placed in resemblance, memorance
of those still loved though no longer here
in body, in this place, paying respect to this stone
& all it represents i can almost feel the presence
of things i will never believe almost feel the thoughts
of a mind i still know assembling thoughts to tell me
sweet things, pretty things, so pure almost bitter in memory
and the unfairness they represent, the illogical nature of
morals & values in a turning world. and though i will always love you
this is why i don't believe you can ever hear these words
on this day.

tumbling people jumble fumbling folly mix in vicissitude
falling toward, falling away consumes life churning people
don't stay, run from here toward in circles
back to eternal infernal just 1 more day
eyes glance & look away those smiling faces
soon betray eyes stray feelings disappear
kissed lips so quickly forget, remembered kissing another
lovers turning circles of pleasure in beds of the new
words of the new, soft spoken hands warming
fevered skin crying salt for feelings not seen
by eyes seeing seen before & cannot shed tears
simply kissed away by new lips unfeeling, untasting
unlasting. there is only 1 first & so many seconds
in minutes hours days spent thinking about the rhythms
of another & another & so many fucking other voices
choices choosing misery for you, for you
it's all for you, because you're a whore.
no, because the world is crying.

binding of fates, two lives become one
expected, forced, fucked by a society
governed by religion pleasing gods
who never exist but fucking people
sadly believing, prostrating to nothing
out of fear, out of failure
pushing 2 lives into 1
two wrongs making somehow seen
right in eyes of fucked by religion
wants to fuck you too.

realizations are made & the inevitable comes to pass
as philosophers inexorably strive to find themselves meaningless
lovers cry without a means by which to be known
alone, the word bleeds hearts like no other, dark anticlimax
spawns shadows trembling at its approach, almost forgotten at its zenith
but we both know they're there, becoming only more apparent, long
weary, hopeless as the feeling falls like sinking hearts toward the nadir
and my world is plunged into shadows. your world so full of the dark
you and i, just two, lost in blindness wrought of seeing eyes not ever
to be found by feelings alien to this place. it's hard to be human
in a world that's not, so fucking hard. too easy to forget how sad we've become
buried in years filled with nothing, eyes filled with empty bodies twisting
into knots building this prison around the center, around the soul.
if it were just you and i it would be easy, so easy, too easy
to sweep it all away, light that candle dancing angel flame, but
can never light a whole world full of nothing in the dark.

time elapsed, though alive just yesterday already feeling dead again
cold again, alone again. dreariness pervades this meager existence once again
pulls stars from the sky & breath from these lips which no longer smile,
frown, sneer, purse, just nothing, just nothing. trying means failure
means hardship remorse regret, the only fire in this void. burning thoughts
so sick of feeling. so sick of having, so sick for so long
eating souls wasted life this long disease prays for remission while tempting
voices beg for submission, sometimes so easy would it be to just
give up, give in & loose myself be like the world
shameless, fearless heartless, soulless, but most of all like this life

untitled [a new dena8]:
thoughts on mind become spoken words make plans for gateway gatherings
under the spell of communion for money spent the process begins
words spoken allude suggestively to phallic things, pupils open in warmth
in prostration to the master, giving humble obedience to the owner
of that which lies within, the master of the moment, communion commences
flowing like vodka making every breath sweeter than the last as lights
dance around the room your eyes seem to be the only constant holding my
twisting thought to something not spinning walking, stumbling, crumbling
with arms around me seems nothing is steady as we teeter upon our
strides, lay beside & time spins around we, unaware of its speed, yet giving to
its comfort. i giving to your comfort. somehow knowing the catalyst is gone & you're no
longer spellbound, nor am i we still lay together upon sweet leather, and i find
respite from eternal loneliness in your arms for at least a while, and i hope
i only hope that you feel the same.

untitled [a love unconditional]:
soft people see actions meant hidden but stronger than any word
and simple truths left etched in white paper by a
caring hand melts these eyes to tears, and the high
of the day, again stray to the low of the dark when
places, thoughts, people, actions, feelings seem so disconnected
unimportant. like all things they are nothing & the empire
built on today's world crumbles, tumbles like hopeless thoughts
from my head and tears from these eyes. words gently whispered
not unheard by those not meant to hear but have more right to listen
than i could ever bear to say. though gentle, like the soft hands aged
born beauty trembling under gait of a mind too experienced to bear
the pain trembling for love of me, and sympathy for the loss inside
for mine is her greatest loss.

justice: twisting turning burning fucking yearning for some holy hand of justice sweeps the chips from the table throwing away all the shit & piss that makes this world smell sweet, too many holes torn in holy hymen highness drained of life & cannot bleed feeding hands holding fucking won't let go of past memories that build the future in his image we look for abuse reclusive recluse misused gentle hands upon hardened flesh only stroke softness in bitter memory brings tears flowing down traveled tongue in cheek wants broken muscle memories of things that were made with shared thoughts now shared in misery machine breeds darkness & the light in this world simply disappears, and all the love in this world... 2001071801tid242

untitled: passion steel cleaves souls of flesh with little to lose the tears of blood wash so freely from its blade, prancing thoughts circle weary eyes staring, beaten, ahead wielding steel & unfeeling of its might poor santa clause craves sandostatin far too jolly in his haste for holly folly fumbling fall, too much mentality 'cuz we just ain't right standing in forests of fallen trees begging to be cut with metal bleeding sheep crying in the stillness forgotten they were once strong like the oaks now begging without value to barter their pathetic lives away. it could be blatant, but people just won't look & see sickness vile decaying fraying fabric unravels travels twisting top down speeding asphalt we wish we were free in freedom lost by little children abhorring pain of autonomy wishing themselves naive nothing seems to matter state unknown demons hold lives on puppet strings point to heaven, point to the master hand fisted gauntlet hitting, hurting not made for love, a belief not spawned in smiles breeds darkness from frivolous rules with iron fist of god holds us down, and one sick idea continues to... 2001071901tid242

words of wisdom seldom happy turn tides of truth upon myself
smiles sly cover ulterior tongue pretending to heal these wounds of grief
but precious prey cannot betray the broken pieces of my youth
while only hooked hands carving flesh can keep the waters at bay.

things grow inside spreading tendrils
of influence throughout my lonely heart
mindless things control a mind that
was once my own, the horrible
people at my door, i let them inside
show them my world, wishing them to
pity this emptiness & fill it up
with lust fill me up with fire
burning down this timid tinder lincoln
log life, and free this soul to the
sky, send my ignorance to heaven
send me home, to hell.

deja vu:
bodies wishing they could love
ache anatomically for some breath of life
our feeble minds follow as if choiceless
sending pleas of discontentment into the webs of choices
crossroads lead down dark alleys into the
treachery of a thousand anxious lovers
and we just can't wait to feed the beast
gaping jaws eagerly swallow me up
i giving to its simplicity
but the mind follows and makes life hard
makes life hell as if choosing darkness
from the light craving mystery hating
myself too lost to lead too blind to follow
left like a dead end in the haze of stupidity
i am here once again thinking, wishing, writing deja vu.

untitled: weary wandering pessimistic eyes wander weary circles around half-full glasses magnifying mirror loss seen behind that rooted other, little people with little hearts beating up on the smaller smallest thing they could ever do while bleeding eyes grace gently the cold shoulders of that ruthless other once so special, still special but bitter broken blissless blemish shows past fruits so far decayed from being sweet now sitting stagnant dying falling apart, falling apart, things not together sweeping away fleeting now pricks skin gently but without any sense of self, burning up just to hurt, numb, desensitize you from the pain, a thousand voices ring hollow choices showing all the thousand ways to fail, a thousand ways to fall, waiting for that bitter world to swallow you up into swelling ranks far too totalitarian to ever be privileged by any opposition, hope buried under snow so far from the light but given breath by the sun, many billions of nothings falling randomly into chaos creating this sparkle we call life while taking it all away as wondrously as the bestowed showed snowed people how worthless tinkerbell really is, that fateful hand though without fate itself twists phallic whirlpools into bruised flesh of so many fruitless bodies like fruitless lovers so long ago but bitter memory fleeting freshness far from reach, far from here, and a thousand babes cry out in the night dependent souls trapped in aging cages falling from the heavens crashing down, chariots once transversed now broken bones abound where leaps of faith felt empty and alone, one more life without a cause but not without cost as painless thoughts should be felt robbing existence of humanity 2001072501tid242

untitled: crying tears made falling water drips relentlessly cold stone feels not sun in shadow of vacant facings facing a world without feeling holding on to ideas hold no relevance to my thought life plain passion burned out smoke breathes cancer down the throats of those stupid enough to sip from this well deep deeper darker holed down dirty in the dirt influence fades grey nothing gloom shadow fog unfeeling but cold nonetheless pushing ice ever farther into still beating heart growing grey weary weathered stone radiates nothing that isn't cruel slight smile belies something dreadful just below the surface appears calm smooth murky dark drifts away pulling tempting appealingly parted waves make ripples through this physique as parted torrents fall further from the center spiral arms around that maelstrom that is the truth in this life rotates about just one dark dreadful black hole sucking in all light sucking fucking sucking in my world pointless realization points to moot points of light in the darkness a thousand stars in the sky different lives away from the center that seems to consume all life free form waves of gravitating pseudonecessity lapping upon this midnight beach girgling phallic sounds like coital crying tears of delight upon the altar of sacrificial ineptness millstones of brawn grind away the lives of the meek reap and harvested like bleeding sheep crying in the night hate today and tomorrow's already bleak 2001072501tid242

untitled: beating hearts fleeting pitter-patter in the night, drifts eerie into darkness, stillness cool chill air breathes its way into underneath inside, like god it sends ice down the spine down the center pushes unfeeling alone holes into the core and when the night is over & the living other so long far away unreachable untouchable distant lost one wakes up to find god is nothing & the loneliness disappears hope light warmth smiles faces see with seeing eyes open for a cause finding nothing but stumbling bumbling humbling humbles others wishing could see be seen holding on in pieces taken by pawns walk with nothing to lose, with nothing without thought, life, autonomy indifference wreaks havoc upon those not blind by son staring down hot & heavy just a picture, just an idea unsubstantiatable unloving, cold no feeling shivers down backs of those unempowered enough to believe and the billboard shines with worthless fucking products to buy hating sinners think contrary to judgment, judgment that pseudoword for a pseudoworld full of pseudopeople living, dying, lye pseudolives with pseudocertain morality built upon the backs of those who don't believe but still feel cold shivers at the hand of the nonexistent, all souls touches by the wrath millions of prophets pushing peddlers raping our children no laws against their hate, their fear, their pollution. facets fucked by bored believers stepping steeper stairs ledge face cliff spilling stones upon the climbing the cliff to find the top only bored, barren, nothing but idiots pushing each other off jacking each other off grabbing grubby chubby hands touch familiar flesh desperate for some satisfaction in a barren view of insects trying, vying for the top lying words down to stumble, crumble those below. it all means so little in the end while seemingly everything but nagging voices telling whispering uncertain hopeless despair inadequacy 'tis the voice of god the voice of god now at the top after indifference spent, only now do you hear the voice of god 2001073101tid242

untitled [misery]: not lost i'm losing so fucking dead afraid to live thousands of horrible thoughts speak truth into the minds of everyone i can't bear to see jealous people eyes drawn wide like holes made open for you because it makes them feel good to watch, to get that sharp tongue licking blood between the lashes, wish it was a stick beating fucking people away losing certainty with each step forward backward forgetting my place. bad feelings come from expected truths told by whims, unknowingly lie about petty things that matter, behind that closed door lies deceitful words spoken softly & without sentience unknowing not their own fallible existence forgetting their fucking place in my house people roam free like loaders without responsibility. without a sense of self or worth they watch TV & it becomes their life, becomes them. disconnected cut off from the world my life grows weary as i sweat in my cell, rancid air full of vitamins wreak like rotting people, smell like something i never should have fucked. in ignorance like love we make poor choices & choose the best for the moment, if only life were not such misery broken people loving like it could heal them and disappear beneath waves of sweat consuming tainted flesh discrimination is key for the top to have its way down deep hurting hymen never before seen the world with open eyes blinking thighs with glee and fucking dying, and fucking dying decay that scent so familiar like the martyrs we're made from forgotten like shitty food i put my dick into at McDonalds i never should have eaten never should have... just forget with beer bear bloated head filled with a cheap fucking high but so much more costly than the last, still want McDonalds, still want TV like robots programmed misery tells us to fuck tells us to forget, tells us to be nothing nothing nothing it fucking tells us 2001080301tid242

untitled: cool air freshens senses chasing away hot breath of passion breathing confusion down upon this life. dry bread cracks pallet like it never reverted to herbalism eating things made by men from this mother earth never reveals holy spread upon apart the land tongue speaks not form words given breath by the master licking a thousand words printed so eloquently hollowed hallowed & made carved killed cancer like a need dividing life inside tearing mother earth apart. creation saves intrinsic souls as emaciated faces project sorrow that lives within, values place nothing into the hands of the poor if i could just make this life beautiful, maybe we could all be saved souls breathed perverted manipulation via deceitful tongue wishing to pain the world as eating flesh never having achieved veganism indulges the ego while the monsters have not the control to ever love themselves wasting life like they could even fucking waste worthless worship uses time clock spin like mother earth tries to replace precession by frenzied pace surges forward like lusting lunging almost fucking cuming up down in out tight stretch tugs & resists but never seems to satisfy feelings of remembrance still seeing those starving faces looking with the intensity of only my plight doesn't even know it resembles these famished faces worn by my brethren symbolize everything that is wrong with this world points fingers touching everything that is wrong with i bury the fragile face mask put into pillow eagerly steals my tears to protect the mask falling into fabric almost loses itself almost feels like mother holywhole whore of our earthly hollowed out by a race of takers intent on giving the gift cannot be cut away without fire & lye should cleanse this flesh, ease this mind the only thing inside asks questions i dare not try to answer i almost try, almost but let it fall & wear masks scars dealt deep down dirty hurt whore inside stairways to heaven around by steps linger in the basement ascendance is within but we'd rather stay & life in this hole fucking mother sweet mother with head, heart & mind. we lock ourselves & never free we love mother earth but not enough to care love is hate, hell, heals nothing and we'll never be free, mortals aren't meant to be. inside heads & souls programmed for tyranny slavery oppression recession, souls existing to show nothing but failure 2001080401tid242

untitled: ruthless sun beats bears bleeds life from those that run but seem to have none at all the people dancing prancing horse symbolizes freedom even though its own glory is doomed to rust & dust eventually but a memory in the midst of so many dancers vying for that limited attention paid only for products services servicing the needs of praying predators taking that for the taking hopeless comments to heart unbeknownst they speak only for he who spoketh of miracles weaving tales that are just lies breathed life by claws looking for flesh & blood love & hate balance & specialization of sadistic arts aimed to please wanting flesh and our lives are aimed at nothing but to please those undeserving enough to accept your soul 2001080501tid242

untitled: letters written abstract forming words in a broken language inflicting the pessimistic nature of our hopeless lives described by hopeless words formed by hopeless minds fed the hopeless world around by eyes barely open. this forms art in a place where expression is frowned upon by those incapable of sharing the absence of anything profound so deeply rooted in their being so deeply rooted in this life, the sparkle in the eye looks so much like some kind of hope but just a facade cascade or recycled words that no one ever really said unoriginality describe so much more than those that utter boring boring words are capable of ever realizing so much more than i could ever bear to scrutinize. originality individuality freedom all of these idealized by the inept masses spawns nothing but exclusion & repression for he chained by his own human nature, far too scarce within the species that spawned it. thus art though human represents not the bulk its intention & those artful but martyrs repress-enting nothing that holds true in this world just martyrs banned books & nazi gold lose decry & deny & flush away that which lost its meaning upon creation. art is deceitful just lies spoken by crazy idiotsycopaths kill change & chain the chained & kill the fucking cause kill the fucking meaning 2001080502tid242

untitled: chitter chatter patter pitter smatter flatters hatters mad not matter laughter spills forth falling lulls room with chaos web order sucks into pall of loneliness pervades, why are we here? in this place consuming products innocent themselves lend to the pressures to meet eat & bleed all these starving souls doing the only thing they know speaking words they've only heard thoughts thinking things put there just yesterdays gone long hard road from this place shines without a promise of the end no final destination for this place seems oddly home familiar figures commune wishing perhaps hopeful thoughts i wish i could feel more often given by an artificial man-made but without resemblance of the maker at the end of the day tries to forget it all the world could just fade apart and all these people thoughts means something now less than nothing when the sun rises & kills the feeling intoxication of sleep? or the feeling or does the catalyst become the cause the center? does life make the world turn in space or just my world turn in the grave breaking fragile bones apart no longer useful without this feeling is so fucking vain while barely rewarding in its glory @ no other time have i we had so much yet it brings not happiness a thousand melodies stream forth speak tongues of a thousand cultures without enlighten no brings floating to front faced our differences so fucking apparent in our beauty so fucking lost in our own anthro-lives assimilate & alienate those people never asked for our hate our mandate fate state brings people upon knees & paper leashes pets sits auschwitz kike-fucking nazi nigger mother fucking hating today doesn't ever go away & becomes nor the past because flowers cannot growing garden of weeds with sad pistons smell rotten, rancid attract only flies flying fucking good enough for them sucks the rest dry & this makes all the evil utterly apparently dominant in a world where we all have to live most in shame, fear, hurt, passion, regression most don't even look, because our eyes would kill us without killing the rest without the rest and breached contest 2001080601tid242

untitled: sliding into comfortable sex like sliding into place lines blur wavy & strangely tantalizing because only they're there, life means so little in stupor of stupid thoughts wanting pathetically only another hand upon traveled thoughts pulling them into hopeless despair, but it feels good, so fucking good to connect inside with one also so desperate for something, just anything proof not dead not yet people wander lifeless without thought nor feeling like nothing they never knew why that flesh not their own but was for but one tryst although not planned & therefore fundamentally false hoods take power from the one, only one who really needs | abstract thoughts feelings voices ring like my own depression so fucking strong drowns out all else & makes the world far far away voices fucking voices describe a world a feeling i have never known, have never felt change of heart of thoughts trod so quickly upon this already trampled sorry sorrow of grief wishing only for 1 day it could be the one erect to do the standing stomping beating but so many buts take truth from every train of thought meant to be derailed nailed like nothing worth nailing scraping gouging clawing cross thoughts bleeds my back, flesh hurts & falls from bone no longer of any. use, meaning in this place insects walk vaguely aware they're so much like humans like americans assume they're the best, simplicity begets happiness so complex all our lives write words trying in vain to describe, justify pitiful horrible unmendable exist only to prove the insects wrong this world turns pins needles rip through flesh into the blood down drown low and the insects don't know heroin & they fucking prove us wrong fucking prove me wrong...2001080602tid242

untitled [you've become]: fliers fly borrowed messages of promiscuous nature, just want you to come inside the foot in the door steps trods upon stone only the dollar is welcome its wielder nonimportant leave flight flying away from dark corners boring thoughts pervade upon asphalt becomes the river of all life leading lending opportunity to a thousand places each one better than the last place was the best beast one realizes as the moment fades to memory no longer serving brain well without will endowed with nothing but fickle fable lurking teeth gnash for cash deep down inside & we live for but one cause money is sex is love is forgiveness is religion is unrelenting bigotry is money falling from loopholes in your fucking pocket & all is forgiven if left for right people to find nothing not throw shed away skin & scales this animal skin skinned leaves skinless faceless, nameless names with nothing inside we are pictures, memories wishes dreams dreaming things shown only upon our faces would have hated that place in the dark without shining eyes glaring back reflecting the mask seen by masked eyes world would masked itself in mechanics reality pushes forces greater than us upon corners to little children think it's candy cloaked stranger strangles blood from head choking little people with minds more names more meaning than their wielders wielding welded weapons wrought of welded weeds wicker liquor inside eyes flickers snickers something almost human beings scattered tattered mattered not when already without meaning nothing inside to dignify any reason to live, to give, to anything at all they'll never speak never peak 'cuz never fucking care wouldn't dare stare at someone who could feel they only know their own dark corners masking darker dilemma they can't even see, couldn't know for they only know their own seeing only fellow adversary peddlers stealing more virgin tears than the innocent could ever know they had not the strength to resist fist pushing life inside aside from fabled tabled glass cards break & tatter shatter spent without clatter tree doesn't fall into forest full of trees just dicks fucking fungus so many no one could hear here without a care to bear flash & flare sparks cold in the distance & thus is all you are look look what this place has done why don't can't stop shop from & run and look at all you've become 2001080701tid242

untitled [freedom/oppression]: eyes threaten to close like minds upon consuming gibberish from books called the bible, the, singular oxymoron thousands of words mean nothing when without agreement noncompatible forks in proprietary code never see the source. we will never be free as long as model models models after tainted tainting light known in truthful truth only as its own oppressor yang dark sang hymns of heathen decry themselves forging the world sin from their own guilt, nothing more, but so much less and we will no cannot ever be free oppression breathes emptiness in many forms from lips of so many speak rhymes sound somehow right & wrong fall folly only in the minds keeping score of pointless points in a fucking game some call life, some call hate happiness fear tests taken score points only for person taking test no one else fucking cares about the fact remains we can never be free bound by chains chained in turn unto ourselves useless when life lives for lovers we can never find the fact that what thoughts feelings hoping almost for hopelessness too easy would it be to live without hope without freedom, autonomy, choice we desire slavery and bow servitude to postration and thus we can never be fucking free 2001080702tid242

untitled: bloody day oozes feelings wish had died when yesterday did, people sit and blather with nothing to do in mundane slow grey plain blah bland days talking nothing to pass clock turns ticks flashes time away life already spent with no promise of returns marginal falling capital cannot support the state of mind chaining morons to their takers. fucking meaningless conversation carried by cachexic lips sipping eagerly coffee thinking clones similar boring somehow can save this moment & lift it from the last people are fucking fickle boring & intent apparently i am not human 2001080901tid242

watching time: life consumers fade to grey after eve of dollar spent spends time more precious than itself but a misinterpreted representation of life passes time flowing so much more harshly than swiss machinery seeking order in the chaos ensues as time leaps & bounces uncertainty tainting sweep of covet quality and on the wrist it means nothing when all else is questioned the individual knows her own worth but the world does not see. will not understand allusions nor quality too exquisite gluttons would want them all without regard to meaning nor value of time heritage life love spent on dedication to verses sewn in metal jewels balance exactness seen in tried true face they would still want them girard-perregaux and those words mean nothing 2001081201tid242

untitled: brain rot rots rotten holes rooted in wicked wasted whimsical thoughts mean so much dominating sick pathetic existence only exists to serve its own sick hunger begetting broken thoughts makes everything sink into whole world just black attack lashes at exposed flesh carnal carnivore creature wants only to be like and salt drops spilled grains upon marble tables thoughts no longer hidden handed poker face that cruel smile giving away mirrorer dark complexion seen in polished surface already knew was there it fucking tells nothing in so many words nagging incessant relentless ear popping thought stopping stream of sorrow flows gurgles burbles unrefreshing drying sucking life from those people just want a taste so afraid of death after life believe anything to stay alive holding impossibility plays people like they were cards without face suits long spent to pray a way to royalty and the one in the dirt aces the rest only after spent does anyone see with eyes blinded by selfless smooth & boring flesh so far from pleasure when mind wanders thoughtlessly so far away from pleasure pain person passes perfectly paramount next to nothing next to life everything anything seems like heaven and this must be then hell 2001081501tid242

untitled: lights go out around no shadowing always dark a voice sweet voice used to love lending ray of hope like light only illuminating the darkness of all else when gone cold empty so much more alone than ever fucking felt before unbeknownst how to live without that light never asked for never even wanted contrast shows only how lopsided life as exists nothing forcing driving metal scrapes shards fall broken from the spindle turning lopsided after life has away its way with feelings wishing themselves obsolete, extinct, killed away the pain of grief given hurt then never asked for hope in hopeless heartless stone cold no color swirls in boring opaque glass meant to see through the world holds hard liquor blood red and fucking sweet taints vision tortured by humanity hardly human nor even life distant from anything that could be real and feel feelings taught, learned never discovered new lands but had to kill savage people living more life than we could ever hope to take away from them nothing they don't have possess nor repress the fallen angels beget their distruction burns hotter than boils eating sequelae into those hopeless enough to survive only to face a bigger beast still breathes fire, i am the product of that beast and this must be hell 2001081502tid242

untitled: deadest day dawns dark corners where those that don't believe hide in cipherous cynic sees with bloody eyes bloody lies cover bloody crimes given taken shaken, not stirred emotion raises lashes 80 times the telepathic talibon like us just more honest portrays swirling whirling thought falls drowning feelings trying to hide, but won't fucking die though no longer fly high or low too slow to keep track tact reverence upon the wall writing written not to warn weak fragile breaks broken bliss but begets true happiness and fucking sun shines so hot burning water from the land bridges nothing we're already here and humans no humanity thrive taking life from those already dying their kind weeded & breeeded out by pedigree of hate young girls bodies tiny walk & flaunt sickness to those who look & want to touch want to fuck forbidden fruit not yet capable of being ripe but more than ready to bear its own through action reaction contraption manipulates men into arcane positions meant to hurt their pleasure doesn't dwindle only builds god volcano burns sores into those below the ridge, coronal son so fucking hot burns life left by volcano and pollutes polluted victims like those that birthed burned babes before cycle starts anew virus already in the flesh, in the bood, the brain thinks infective thoughts playing upon that which we want to hear, playing upon that which i wish i could want to hear, and here i do hear in this place i wish i was not trapped attacked strapped into along for ride on train through tunnel assimilation insemination dissemination no postration irrelevant, still on board paid the farewell hole without ladder, and i'm still trapped 2001081901tid242

Viracocha's Return?:
writing written words but nothing to say
remembering trying in vain to refeel what you made me
talking again, seems so long but to you
i've nothing to say
to mention a name and not feel
without that pang of memory
that skip of the heart
that ache of sudden sadness
your name, i cannot
not time, not ready, not sane
something still existing in nothing
nothing always seems to exist in something
making everything like itself
is it inside of me? of you?
does it kill us or are we already dead already?
i cannot answer nor see with any knowledge with knowing
worth seeing worth worth anything worthy of that
something inside that nothing now called us?
so much doubt uncertain hesitation regret resentment rejection
remains lingers upon though tip of tongue used to touch sacred
temples inside my head now mocking in its existence. and
life mocking my everything simply at your approach.

untitled: burn through pages fire consumes memories like furious thoughts and changes the past forever people see me remember past people now no longer mirrored by romantic memories betray stray feelings unleashed by trigger nigger words bound by leash letting petting fretting rule of fear of iron fist punches horrible holes into private parts we use so often seldom private we forget they're there inside but tainted by virus in the flesh god in the brain eats holes like iron fist carving plaques PrP loves its own people love their own the virus the god-virus salvation-virus disease, disease & memory, lost can't remember falling down the holes in head god ate those too god eats everything 2001082002tid242

untitled: new day spawns, like new life life the stir of so many people, too many to all be loved in our static system flows electricity to those who deserve energy to live love die like burned metal halide pseudosun, no longer hot dead cold to the touch the face felt feels so much less than what tenacious teens strive to feel beneath eager fingers still so young naive but already hurting others like ages past cigarette butts dead in cold sand their damage to the living already done & bird baths abound with dying insects hopeless for what was done lights look pretty streaming forth thiamine dimers ready to disrupt corrupt anarchist no so unlike green grass passes fasting last outgrows the rest pest becomes the life but death of all else, humanity species doomed to the cycle killing all creatures preachers telling selling pieces of not whole puzzle not too simple to even be but made complex see through glass afore our eyes despise reprise without surprise, we had it coming 2001082101tid242


	on to pretzel		people	twisting
		knots	into limbs shouldn't
		couldn't	hold
				on	spinning
		webs	of		flesh	weaving
		spinning	thoughts	faster	than catholics
		bred	sheep	to follow
			figure	finger
		poking		raw pretzel
						dough because	it
	still	feels
				warm			she still
		feels cold,
				still feels 

Melanie: so often writing so often with nothing to say, absence of thoughts represent the lack of anything worth thinking entrenched upon the mind, revealing light plight kills passion as mystery fades into the light of unwanted realization ignorance is bliss is happiness is slavery, human voice wrought of flesh screams trying to be noticed above the grind of mechanical monsters birthed by breaths breathing hate, loathing, resentment for what we've become, what we...who are we? ignorance fades bliss falls apart as ugly truth teaches the meak their own weakness their own destiny the only thing truely theirs, but like all else equally beyond reach of the pitiful pity pretty but without a means to question flesh already dead cannot think, cannot feel & never seemed to have ever lived or loved or even existed as memories decieve make believe those sad souls trying in vain to think awake methods lost to our kind our gene line devoid of anything ever gives snow cold to touch burns flesh sucks breath away in sweet desire hot not like the snow and we can't remember genes nor people that should matter. but nothing matters, melanie's here and all else falls away, not really, like all else becomes background almost wishing for centre stage staged events and it all still means nothing, one voice upon chaos though real, though smooth known from first thought portrayed by lips also trapped though in a different life still points to only more noise drowning almost itself too bad it all means nothing, too bad it all probably means something, but not for me 2001082302tid242

untitled: strings vibrate chords rip parachute upon air catches noticed falling, but not fast enough, not good enough, annoying whine screech bland old fucking boring makes way into my thought & wish it could be over, i wish it would go away. and leave me leave me left me here behind the feeling that spawned word derived from breeding people 2001082303tid242

[M Hartwig]: life becomes a downward slide, downward just a figure of ineloquent speech trying to describe events that have no action upon reaction so terrible without descriptors. sitting staring glaring mistaken thoughts tend to consume what's real ensues chaos as humhappy people lift souls with alcohol. wish they fucking were. stomach groans with rotten day devours those who wish they could desire, could consume try to express meaning through poor music simply weak for the simply & week and we're only human, flesh & blood a continuous reaction once stopped forever cold, once falling so hard to stop. so impossible to lift from broken decent, so fucking hard, hopeless, nothing but despair felt @ tortured doorway into nothing society would love to tell us otherwise, would love to tell the impossible to know, what the fuck society knows nothing, not even so much as its own ignorance pseudocertainty excluded by definition almost as if by choice, by nature wreaks revenge upon those outside consuming flesh & blood we oh so helpless at its approach begets so much more than the unable-bodied could ever hope to understand scurrying bodies can't warm the center, nor change the cause code of ethics vain attempt almost resent ideologies it would love to espouse, but functional, logical, reality bites sharp, cold, harsh, flash life flickers & fades faster than the world & she's dead spark without fire struck by human hands feels cold flesh & life refuses to exist in such insignificance one wonders why bother exist at all? but while the brain thinks body knows, heart, romantic soul, she's dead, just expiration upon the white 2001082401tid242

untitled: friends could be better birds feather if slept together lending sweat to pink velvet sheets between thick blankets & dead things feathers still felt from giving birds hold in the heat their presence breathes ecstasy simply by being soft inside downed blanket upon soft alter of sacrifice, of sin, of holy highness stronger than thou of the only thing TV has to offer us cheap thrills & selling for money that which the cost is nonmonetary nonproprietary nonfucking corporate friendship name given to those prostration without frustration givers without a voice without a choice choosing only that already chosen through not aware subconscious the game played with cards up sleeves bigger, deeper, wider, darker than life in the light the underside gleams just as bright horrible horrible i'm so fucking hard just being friends is too fucking hard to just be...2001082801tid242

untitled: fucking slide turning yearning inside out sides break & soul oozes from the sides broken bones head bare fair but broken. in that place position never fucking want to be tried not to find feeling sneaks slowly upon can't even feel faces holding me down until try lift up and there's nothing to be lifted to nothing to be lifted from. the whims of stone other mind so far away too fucking close too much ability to change this life too much power, authority to tell me who i am, no longer mine those thoughts of another until now worthless still unmeaning, except that it controls me changes, cages hurts & makes me feel empty frustration gnawing @ the core killing me inside. minutes turn to hours turn to days salivation without salvation the only savior is within, so why the fuck did i ever look @ you? you can never help, never love, you couldn't even come close to saving this from myself, from itself you just as powerless as i in its face in its kingdom in this life. just rules of who knows unbecoming herding cattle past slaughterhouse doors open close chew eagerly on prions in our foodchain changing thought one kiss, call, smile, vile nile sailed down the river one poor soul at a time like thoughts fleeting meeting nothing to stand against but that voice says she can save me, says it can save me. no love in defeat spending time life morals on a cause never to see an end except in folly failure as so evidenced by the nature of things all things in this life turn themselves upon that sinking feeling pushing it ever farther ever deeper darker marker writes words for all to see in the night upon flesh now owned by failure owned by burden beast bearing bliss miss nothing in denial sometimes 2001082901tid242

[a dead dena8]: i fucking wish i could feel steal thoughts from moments fading from framed memories serving little purpose outside once held ideologies of being saved, maybe being loved. vagabonds wander from place to place without paying any undue respect to temples built to hold out those that wander wonder think to question why try cry at sight of things seen inside of questions fade to smoke burning nicotine & eats the insides craving raving raging roving coving caging cancer infects not the reeved shackles nor shame nor anything left that seems to matter so fucked & nothing seems to matter. so fucked by the only thing that matters hatters push on into cold wind chasing demons don't exist outside the head breaks broken bread pretends it's flesh to devour without thought symbolism sickness teaches tells only by its own pain caused onto itself onto all our lives only our own to blame me pointing fingers wishing they were but kills deader than guns point & click looking into mirror with fingers cocked spelling suicide on forehead of image fading beyond recognition so quickly too quickly fading changing image real, judge yourself by what you see like society sobriety somber sucking security in the absence of choice. somehow comfort swept away without ever becoming immortal. still the voice claims it can save, can heal buried bridges & i'm on the other side of mirror so fucking far away from me standing by you burned the bridge where am i wonder where you are and is this real is it anything but deserted buildings breathe silence should be broken by life breaks everything tranquil, gives meaningless to somber moments when we should remember & not repeat prose written by i_the_whore before fucking for fame & same feeling can't ever seem to have nor ever seem to share nor spit cross words across bridges bare by hand of fire dire desire eats anything we might have ever had nothing i thought we had. across broken things & toys lost in chaos no longer fun i look with still sightless eyes sucking in the truth seeing nothing, wish you were here maybe i then would be too much to bear or care to run away, wish you or i could just be...2001082902tid242

untitled: warming cold earth hard hearth by the fire burned out from your touch brings ashes cold only hearth of heart of stone still keeps the heat spilled tips glass glowing toxic things fall so many stupid people serving no purpose outside their idiot kin breeds intolerant thoughts drives hate into everything they don't understan-everything they can't possibly understand toys break fleeting memories as cheap things made to sell but garbage having served their purpose burns hurt through my skin flares red circles around the light & i try to look away & wish in darkness that it could change 2001090401tid242

untitled: diffuse refuse scattered tattered things blow in breeze unbroken by trees or life standing tall too much bending in same, shame lame limbs buckle under master's weight of poor healthy smells sweet like sleeping too long almost eternal fucking infernal sleep starts to creep & consume mind deprived so much scattered thought leading not follows paths crossed mind mixed feelings and everything becomes old, boring, sad, frustration wish i could sleep too many daytimehours making daylight in the dark doing work only important to man but not fucking important people forget they live bound to confines of imperfection captured picture moment deep in flesh deep in its own vulnerability tolerance to ego alteration so fucking small & just one drop, first sip makes me superman makes me fucking nothing at all not tall standing in stupidity & again wish i could feel, life no less numb under the influence of social spell what does it all mean? what, when why reasons allude, convolute and answers to leads more questions only confuse fleeting thoughts why, but why?-because it doesn't matter?-or because i don't care?-it doesn't amount to matter of caring anymore 2001090501tid242

untitled: fuck eloquence, fuck allusion, fuck metaphor, women such strange cruel wicked creatures seem to be only proficient in the ability to abuse abusing men, making me everything i hate myself meaning nothing's new not even attached though emotion draws more tightly than our species' desire to fuck & left here without nothing i didn't have, she left me here, she fucking left me here, and suddenly i don't exist, eyes fail to see through only look through me and life should be lived life is lost & i don't even fucking exist 2001090502tid242

untitled: this boggled mind can't find meaning nor reason under wight of obligation we've built lives made to follow force caged enraged feelings deep inside so many pathetic people want lives beyond feeble reach beyond mental gait instead consumes things fed forced by TV society dreaming so simply of simply so-so things & think it could save take them away from this place reminiscent of unfulfilling things lurking in harbors harbored deep inside follow force cage intrinsic bars of conformity gives settlement to government, tobacco companies plant seeds of power waste breeding sickness and we don't even care though it fells those we love too infected with the sickness to even desire a cure so entrenched in a cause lost though still losing lives of a thousand million shells should house some life or at least soul escaped or died but really what's the difference as pieces of plastic & sharts fall to earth to exist for a million year blink of what really matters and people so worthless don't even matter enough to deserve closure or answers or life because we already don't live, and never really did 2001090601tid242

untitled: stupid eyes look expressing stupid lies bent on breaking stupid thights apart of a cause only causing its own fucking listens to conversation not intended nor directed but he sniffs 802.11b anyway though unbeknowns of what it means, fucking cloned bots only know nothing & look to fuck 2001090701tid242

twin tarot: lose the lost lust the broken bumbled crumbled falling stone buries bodies still beneath in chambers hollowed by miracles fools would attest to god though overlook rubble should also be attested to same foolish notion life lost though not the cause nor cost fucking bureaucrats calculate inside thick skulls and so the people suffer & will continue to die inside denied of any understanding though claim sympathy just long enough to fill empty chairs with noncadaverous clones and life goes on playing into hands of those more foolish than the playing fools time goes on blipping & bobbing evidenced to me through saphire glass movement delicate, intricate, yet fucking relentless reminding life goes on, time without life we're fucking dying up here & nothing will ever change this place 2001091301tid242

stranger: don't be a stranger things have happened while walking inside twisted alleys taking timid steps evoking tainted titters from torn takers would kill just to hear you whisper wasted words spent in vain on so many like them but it passes through the heart scarcely touching shattered soul trapped inside reduced to fragments of only unfeeling words lulling fickle promises into hope no longer shining with any reason in light of this world spins regardless relentless circles trying to throw straggling strangers from its temples spot spotted eyes gleaming glaring like febrile coals still hot with disease given onto by you wishing you could cry but you feel nothing, like them you feel absolutely nothing 2001091901tid242

untitled under gait of spiritus vini rectifactus that never seems to rectify busy used to bees bumble stumble & wish they could fuck like whores it's been so long too long too hard to ever go back to rectify this spirit buried in a thousand dead dreams dreamt for a thousand dead children walk & breathe & make baby children destined only to indulge destined to oblige wasted creatures looking for sympathy inside the arms of the diseased heal wounds only they could have caused grief so fundimental hardly felt numb beneath tidal waves of friged creatures stalking prey with emerald eyes looking for some life we covet the romance we could never afford but entertains the naive with chiseled glances suggesting chances couldn't have covet lovett lyle lying broken even his song destroyed under the power of cataclysm begets cataclysm pushing everything toward the edge, ledge ledger balance lost money floats in the air rushing past doomed tears splash on rocks below moral ground higher than too fucking high & lost in bliss rectify, rectify, rect...erect & ready we fucking die 2001091902tid242

untitled: nervous eyes look away timid & mirroring my own uncertainty drives hopeless mind to wonder thousands of things though you not being amongst the plethora of diseased thoughts after a time life becomes simply what it is & nothing seems to change nor fix the flawed feeling grinding wearily inside myself i wish i could feel or somehow care about everything i have so long regarded as meaningless life such an insignificant phenomenon, my life serving no purpose other than to depress itself and although i dream of change i do not dream of death, of killing this feeling that defines who i am fluoxitine, paroxitine, sertraline, amitryptaline, buproprion, desipramine maybe fucking haldol fucking olanzapine phenobarbitol demerol would make me conform reform fuck it fuck it they tell you not to sell, but only because they're selling it too 2001091903tid242

untitled: apprehension builds transgression and all i become deep within its coils snake slither blither blabber flabber ghasping tortured tourniquet all around sound scream strangle suffocate consume devour tour topple tower phallic babel leans like piza teatering on the edge ledge almost giving up to carnal coming came the tower inspired those from afar so many times | whores | before intrusive words | fucked | stinging mind | clawing | just wants | scraping | place so far | hopeless | away back | cold | turned | uncaring | without love | leads to hate | leads to sadness | leads to hate | fucking born of hate | loathing | desire | intrudes persues | driven, relentless | powerless in its | thoughts consume presume not innocence fucked in this country worthless | help | fucking morals life decay fray | save me | cuts deeper steeper incline topples | lost | fucking tower used to feel symbolism | fallen | means nothing & it fucking means everything 2001092501tid242

untitled: american steeple staple sustainer eagle americana fabricate tasteless tastes like dying nobodies buy clothes learned to like force-fed stupor lies despise only the truth, and this is why they thrive 2001092502tid242

untitled: not only standing but laying beside conviction a slave to its stance giving into some solidarity hardly strangth in solice of ignorance ignoring what could be the truth drags light from the air seems to covet almost darkness shifting clouds cast gloom pall gray dreary drizzle seeps beyond wet apparel not made to reflect the gloom not made to reflect ideas turning coins tumbling inside thought not consumed nor resumed as strings fall forgotten no links in the chains of logic trees uprooted into conic projection of the singularity of this day disappears as moments pass hardly missed not important not noticed not valued not, it's just not as it slips away 2001092601tid242

untitled: love or lust relationships beget fallen fears replaced only by hopeless absolutism how could i care if so quickly touch, kiss, caress, found another person isn't you don't even seem to care as fucking feelings in passing eluded eternity eluded any heart or soul inside denied of yet another feeling maybe could have had something to fill empty hopeless small people could almost be grand in lieu of desires we create lives for those we would never love only the pretty under guis of eyes betray shallow seated feelings follow eyes, loving only after having seen nothing but a sure thing when other's eyes, disguise too dreamy to focus back on my back her optics children of alcohol she only their own, but i, we, do it anyway hurt each other, or only me? silence, distance, walls of mannerism like me? fearless?-i can never know, only remember eyes disguise despise reprise surmise nothing i don't even know where to start 2001100101tid242

untitled: haunched women smile seductively upon sleek hips housing eloquent rubber to put power to the road power to the grind singing songs of flight flattered people simply drive pleasure into the hearts of the arrogant trying to flatter fucking nothing but themselves not drivers they're driven given ignorance in affluence and those below can't even cry 2001100201tid242

sometimes wishing
wanting, wondering
things like life
should have lived
should have said
something, maybe
should have said
something, then
with something
too often saying
nothing at all
now nothing at all
where has the
answer gone?

untitled: seeing long lost faces sometimes brings no memory apart from those of simple recognition trying to remember parts of life burned out of memory like senile alpha-amyloid bearing nothing but bliss feeding hands with unknown bloody knuckles speaks sparks lights the moment elapses lost to nothing your fate only blank no insight in your eyes, sparkle belies nothing the person long forgotten but knuckles still bleeding what have you done by hands abused by abusing where have i been burned memory by a mix too strong to long draught drank how long still drinking from this well of sorrow and it's your face reflected upon black water 2001100401tid242

existence routine machine whirs exact pitch by day by day
respite won't wait for broken breaking on the clock
sadness consumes fawn bleeds sorrow upon the g[r/l]ass
reality defines trodding ranks bear no empathy for
crushed pedals world spins spindle whirs relentless
sorrow they stop working white kill colored flowers.

untitled: words whisper syllables drum war chants rumbling thunder in base distance existence becomes so clear to bear as eary foreshadow shrouds the moment slips away beneath what waves smoothed velvet soft saphire jet black attack ache of longing strikes deep the desire to feel alive on e more time, before the end is near no here voices settle silenced in pools of smooth and all is quite not wind whispering silence, just silence and at this time all is quiet 2001100901tid242

untitled: the day is dead though tuesday should scream life alive in misery all is grey all is still all is silent silence desperate insects look for life in bleak winds whispering chill waifs upon the flesh lost souls turning cold with the season breath sweet seduction tasting life they could never resurrect they could never heal they could never be and lost things exist in emptiness hurting in only their absence souls not found in darkness breeding vagabonds ripe for picking plucking fucking no other wants nor needs but pleads seeds of despiration bearing fruit planted ranted in self disgust self contempt or self actualization no difference in their revelation and i'm no different once revieled 2001100902tid242

untitled: fools argue with words not meant for understanding while widows weap tears not made for crying words course back & forth like fucking love & hate make not difference to those already passed already gone and fools spend tongues on taking wretched wobbly moment of oppertune spear through the heart it hurts but far less than jabbering foolish words fucking foul 2001101001tid242

untitled: inexistence no consequence of conquest retest morals built upon today decay only reason for their being becoming nothing but key for rusted lock clock circles the fingers hands drawing rust upon canvas of fertile organs when control is a sin autonomy frowns in realization of what has been done unto us his children dead dreams speak from the past trying lying future tries to be dead as wellness sets in in hospitality inhospitable fit in just fucking conform no reform for times changing clothes naked for one second but what we need plead for change but we really want nothing nothing to wear with no where to go 2001101101tid242

nothing: flowers leaves planted garden destined only try though never succeed as leaves falter fall down upon brown dead ground gladly accepts its own failed future promises weigh heavily upon such forsave-forsaking grace glides glides softly and gently killing away all resentment of failure leaving flowers in vain should try to feel blood dripping from smiles masking a dying costed so much lust in a garden growing only the pretty become weeds though never weeded and in the end they all die, all cry, all try in vain spilled nectar never found in dead pedals sorrow the smiles hide mask sorrow 2001101201tid242

untitled: blue night eerie hiding guiding lost man not finding blinding tired bored dreary nothing to do with nowhere to go no one to love creatures twist super pain pleasure alive light holocaust lost angels pinned back broken ribs wings hold jelousy of mortal men no fucking angel just sex on the brain medusa turning yearning mortal men hard as stone hard as phallic fertile finger tips scales toward the great below weighing heavily upon all in the light the smiles so far above whole hole self cannot seem to wish to want to be not me i'll never love the light 2001101202tid242

i dreamed the world in my little life came crashing down
all those i've dared to care rain fire upon mother earth
burning all she has given to bitter ashes, bitter memory
bitter people hurt by me, their turn to alight in hatred
alit aloof a land could never forgive too bad just a dream
just a dream, just a thought, just forgotten, too bad.

untitled [ghost baggage]: none are without baggage all hold rocks heavy weigh down just wingless memories forced crawl ground bare bloodied lovers turned cold shoulder stutter mutter recluse mysterious mystery proclaims tragedy evident whispered flat monotone tears fall marking cheeks bare red welted melted misery tatters feathers falling wings limp snapping sinew bone tearing twisting wretched agony hyperflex sex remembers hurting wasting wishing wanderer don't come inside the heat warmed by fire dire desire mire hides lost bones living death bogged down symphony of sympathy iron tyranny yours mine only thing ours shared scared impaired judge rules in fears tears laughs leers peers wish were vagabond invite insight in fright might not be you stranger isn't you nor me i only little i see strangers everyone we all are vagabonds fragile smoke ghosts in the wind 2001101801tid242

spending time like money
wallet lips licking hungry
fumbling fingers play & pay
giving barter lost today

if happy not spend
penny seems saved
martyr lie won't stay
giving murder lost today

tears don't change
happened happenstance
can we please just play?
lost ghosts inside today

next door
glass shine
light reflect
open eyes

see dispise
might dissect
sass divine
the sexy whore

concentration breaks
little thoughts apart
won't fall pieces
stop dropping down
flawed cold
human holes
blood sorry
breaking news
my concentration

plight today as if the morn
brought not forth the sun
gorgeous swell won't turn the tide
of ache kills ever quiet

though still resent black water
dripping sipping shots
come upon calm streams dreams forth
sadness crystal cold

trickle burble lest not
nor whole holy naive
naked drops spatter skin
upon my precious eve

so sits today the sun
though never having birth
shadows upon the land
accentuate the hills

of ache unanswered
feast worm garden
writhe boredom
making way in heart

song praises empty
eat cold souless
burn hatred
branding flesh his own

abstract ideas teach pleas of fairytails
not close tonight locked down tight
expect not respect fore sight

class tries eyes tried before
can't stop black begs for more
darkness seen i fell between

candy cain stripe strip clothes from sugar sweet
bees busy bumble buzzing dizzy for nectar's clit
tempted animal trembles eyes studder varicose & torn
smelt mental chaste shapes holes damned in fire flesh

collar bone hold head nape in hollow point
don't speak nor spot for not thou camouflage
soft spitting torn race upon glow hot coals
lurch lynch lost bite embracing misery
consecration forsake mind's eye closed killed quiet
speak not nor whisper soft breath belonging
selling sad hand in hand this place forever longing

untitled: once found sore abound won & frown, not again won't sin not in not sane rain tumbles tickles down that sound patter seems to matter though lifts pour conscience clause pretend worthless eye won't cage the bird sings devil scrye can't fly tongues pry & pray today won't stay no matter the cost stopping blue lights paint sad the plights of flaunted fights rage war sweet suede only bitter sour scouring cowering corners forced fed retest regress down darker holes burrow disappear upon missed minds never found nor send me not forth from the cage though vented fury cannot gage the rage nor anything this fight of wisdom only seems so hollow and your breath so bitter cold 2001102601tid242

untitled: skinny wasted won't scour tower fucking brigade crusades might lose triumph in hostile costly draining pertaining not devout nor understand bland recipe for nothing short of fallen wings wreak disturbingly of angels searching new land though lost at sea lost souls in flesh devoid of any meaning nor being inside heads of mortal men their drive without mortality split the head cracks open spilling horrible insides upon silken velvet waves curtains blow breeze don't sneeze feeling might just slip away like all the past lovers haunt every room remembers its ghost its memory its forlorned purpose suffers without any sort of meaning any sort of desire left to hide left it here shivers without without a word hushed in silence in sorrow stillness breathes soft whispers fading warmth upon pillow soft upon sheets so smooth the feeling slipped away & wouldn't stay like life reason eludes treason of the trespasser thought with permission suspicion evoked with shallow breath it always breathed shallow & it never loved the never saw the skinny 2001102602tid242

untitled: graph plot life like we were made of fucking numbers mean nothing in disarray astray it hides some purpose never should have seen nor evoked or choked on words needed to be heard said needed to burn bitter holes in now memory reaches from the past to grab snatch steal future fertile grounds for having nothing sometimes sick people wish they could love & the hungry wish for something to say minds boggled in only one desire we pathetic creatures churn & turn maelstrom of misery driven by failing to ever know desire strength love eternal everlasting casting reel spool spins wins line ties another fucking fish in sea la mer doesn't understand the damage nor does her creatures graceful creations sliding through life with the ease of mother made for them but desire steals them away leads astray ash tray catches discarded death burning caustic cancer into mortal fools but they rejoice but the smile twisting turning to a leer jeering peering eyes don't despise no reprise they only use they only consume after dead killing killers resume mistakes past never having learned burned butts abound & fill the past gentle reminders of lives burned down taken sound forged fed fingers reaching for something fruit inside can't hold fucking points at bay nor will it stay inside cried the virgins their very name no longer wishing wishing missing something everything nothing seems to say stay won't listen but falls down tumble stumble it disappears fades away goes the long hard heathen road to the valley of the void where not the gentle wander 2001102603tid242

untitled: socialize in social lies whose eyes despise resent grace won't grace this table empty without light candle cold black drink burns dark fire inside the beast breathes stirs to life in new found food feast upon the table unable to hold truths cards played spaded ace marks the end & all is won inside this loss gleams hollow almost hallowed for sickness forgotten the virus almost disappears leaving the end like the cards gracing sick table sneers with wicked truth & broken people can't play cards as they lay 2001102604tid242

untitled: words humble jumble stumble upon the page won't gage depth of anything can't sing nor repress possessions lost the cost & angels fallen won't talk still won't hush a world whisper 2001102605tid242

untitled: stink don't blink & poet's ink spills from insides pour from open sores resent represent who we are where we've been what we've done to one another spread that virus furtile flesh grows sickness sprouting blistering blossoms in once tranquel waters heir cold only given grace was due to long forbidden roads to which your temple does not end no clouds parting sweet soft nor knees bend the kneeling prince of blindness unbeknownst in the dim undeserving of his fate undeserving of your fate, unbeknownst of my fate the gift that gives needs to grow employing sadness seeds that sew once simple things smile no longer this end inside only knows stronger bars sharper wit cut by bleary blades fall from higher places climb the ladder to the end the end inside spawns poets ink scrawled upon true skin softer white than anything only now for marking makes bitter insides spilling tears fall from moral murals scrawled in lonely eyes furrows mauled in hungry thighs loveliness looks at licking things and this mind becomes one with the end inside 2001102901tid242

stout black crystal sliding sweet
murphy's men don't drink petite'

oil drips sizzles fizzles spending its life
to burn the skin & pull my mind
smile drops sarcastic fascist devour life
to burn the mind & pull your skin.

untitled: deepness seen in shallow lines lurk words provoke the impossible eye of beholder kin wrenched from socket wrenched ratchet twists flesh black & blue and all means nothing except to you 2001102904tid242

untitled: hide cracks from wear & tear somehow cannot heal as water the world seeps into inside poisoning the vulnerable pulling fibers stretch & snap bleed & plead for no more longer rails drive the engine draconian carnal carivan through olympus mons of red deceit the white man's genes to taint & reap 2001102905tid242

untitled: distant stare focus future don't care, don't dare missing moment eager flaunt the sun must set the ghosts that haunt won't turn away pray no son existing torment broken eyes don't see the lies nor can they lament 2001102906tid242

untitled: from darkness stillness penetrates & pervades day smile scream seems to fade slowly silently blissfully away prismatic crystal no longer with any purpose without conception perception its only gift now void in the black pitch curved toward face pulls knees out from under & takes apart to the purpose we play this game gives something once so pure scratches lead poison glass looks so pretty fucking dangerous cuts little daggers mouths cleave without effort the victims bleed without knowledge minds race to finish tracks wearily imperiled nourishing never ends but begets eternity our lives ground sad bleary scary away day breaks open & lets in the night lit with left out stars twinkle sprinkle our worthless sky points of fact so far away & such pathetic creatures just nothing cold upon this rock & the darkness shows what day fails to know prisms give so much more without autoinfatuation so much more in humble stumble while falling we find it only in the end can we seem to understand handing faces playing cards poker draw into fire eye burns with a twisted agony too light & in the end we understand 2001102907tid242

untitled: drumbs beat music out of wretched used abused all in the name of green rollers still turning a world tricks for only more whores slaves to reality & what little purpose so evidenced by their sorrow. just worthless damaged almost without existence sustenence no contest won't regress nor repress stifle for feelings in-not to felt strange things hidden in twisted tunneled bowels hold nasty things never used nor out of sight out of does not exist like life not one living does not exist in this place people play dead games for dead ends to follow path of following the end dead forgotten & hallowed all in the name of, paid in the name of 2001102901tid242

inherently emotional comes the pains
of a million remembered moments
so unlike the present lost last
the past only seems to kill

untitled: won't love battle nor the fray judging jaded memory destroys today looking past beyond behind can't seem to love fear and find lime squeezed biting sore dropping dripping dying floor holding folding caving canvas painting picture pour memory only reminds of past retracing soft lines dealing hard truths metal scrapes cleaves furrows ridges digs stitching worms writhing in the brain can't seem to remember the reasons why isn't it thinking mouthing words of wonder bewilder fear faint attention span so short can't seem to bridge the gap though narrow tears us apart asunder divided the precipice will consume all life losing hope in endless circles the predator only within ourselves unable to break any circut of this circus of thoughts amuse the simple cynic cannot seem to find lost lottery how unlucky the one willing pain in solitude of fighting fruitless fray embittering poor cuts gouged shrapnel judging wounds of attention paved in fear and folly seems to see all fear and folly seems to be 2001103001tid242

pigs look at asian princess
just gentle creature they want to fuck
honest eyes cry to be conquered
only soft inside grows the bastard seed

hush now quiet sweet breath please don't breathe
nor tremble touch too loudly lest the body cease to plead
perfect entwinement warm this flesh imperfect place
background shudders tremble like the tears upon your face

like this wet warm fire deep inside this place
hoping haunches launch nerves ring in your embrace
wrapped amongst together as one now
hold this dying feeling's done

so hush now quiet sweet make but not a sound
breath breaks silence praise this thing that we hath found

untitled: finding focus faced smile bright eyes unwaver savor savior the moment passes breeze blows follow catching breath at near missed misery now cold upon tunnel end light hole narrows with prisoners trapped inside this heart of stone not beating but drowning in its own creation just creatures lost to wander circle cages too dumb to look behind the breath into the heart of the breather catching air into focus face past parted lips so lightly thrown feelings back falling floor becomes my godsent & words tear flesh i am but a soul waver in this instant caught by your breath passes judgement grinds circular heart i just locked inside your wind 2001111201tid242

untitled: the fat eat diets between meals laced with mcDonalds and the slob though fat feasts through famine famished in gluttony starving for just a taste of freedom never found life so entrenched in the slavery of consumption new white death not skinny but weary as heart beats blood from faces ashen cold tremble for sugar sweet all they eat & their disease only themselves they stray from death their only cure 2001111202tid242

buschette: mind wanders helpless clutches hold thought locked cocked in the chamber barrel points click boom the room fades eyes red not dead though wish for inexistence or freedom chance relapses a time when i could have said 'no'-don't go only sew seeds of tree logic branch falls to trunk of singularity of faith's demise in excess so confluent with social lust for broken reigns fly free dangle tangle & tantalize terror steps through that door of thought memory flutter softly upon clean sheets impure in their part to play & pray for lost what say you wicked wanderer vagabondage loosing wand of flesh spills sorrow like crushed damselflies life parting stupid eyes fleeting flutter unfeeling nothing felt before fades memory softest sheets then out the door 2001111301tid242

untitled: trench coat swirls shadow between the rain smitter smatter clouds footsteps of soul upon cobblestone maces jumping from to strike the falling grace that used to be only now wet like rain world washing over naked body beneath sorry clothes stain not by rain but by life losing what's left of lust upon the jade alter poison deep inside the burning temple collapses hardly heard amongst the rain life just blood already spent & underneath the cloaked figure lies a person, who slips into the dark, through the rain, still she lays broken 2001111401tid242

untitled: lies the tongue naked sooth falling sweet voice lifts dismay as heart falls further down swoops angel no respite from descent only soft shallow said & sex may rescue from this earth so full of weasels burrowing haunting rabbit hole breeds only rabbits rabies ripe for plucking faces inside tulips don't smile inside their hole but entice rabid weasels nontheless the sky breaking & tears falling angels spill forth from crack droping dopamine upon famished thoughts want but a taste erased pain nor vigor still flow from this heart so unlike lips spilling encantation like body & soul still fucked as one cruel world needs but relief & won cruel night with you passes dead. nothing happened today 2001111901tid242

untitled: so now time passes tho just yesterday today it seems tomorrow already upon this life this pure crystal glass shines through refraction of fate already decided life already lived just monotony playing familiar music into lonely ears my ears my life my fate so clearly redundant 2001112101tid242

untitled: water touches parched parted lips lifted in expectation for just something fulfilling eyes unnoticed cry in the night as mind wrestles with hopeless thoughts for so long pushed into unconcious depths of this lie we sometimes wish could love the truth we sometimes wish could love ourselves salvation it seems peak from around every corner sunset majesty, so many oppertunities to be sold to this tyrant's perfect dream only selling sex to slavery i only want to taste without this disease pervading everything this life touches making it sickness unseen before in newfound purity & the feeling means so much yet too much to cherish stronger than man it kills softly with a kiss with a touch with but a smile i would die i will die only life beats heart more enthusiastic than i unencumbered by horrible logic telling me to run away look away turn away telling me quietly but truthfully forcefully ruefully who i am 2001112102tid242

untitled: lost time feeling rotten last before morning rise night lost so long ago, where did it go that fleeting feeling sick of stealing life with money spent on artificial fun i have none nothing to trade for salvation a respite from eternal the rest of the bodies faded away weren't ok so didn't stay nor replay sick today tumbling fray won't fucking say anything pure allure this connoisseur greed only wrought of this judgment, death only wrought of this time flowing toward the sea just a mix of so many lives awash with broken bodies drowned in doorways upon muddy banks swelling tide of bloody ranks felled to a cause already without itself just empty bodies beside astride walking talking wishing for something ease edge bite off mind consuming almost their ignorance, almost, but follow they folly across the land toward the sea skipping meanders in eagerness for the east sunrise to their surprise all the life should have lived, but skipped in haste and waste of taste 2001112501tid242

[her ease of control]: Shut out locked lout behind closed door whisper still heard th[r]ough receiver meant to be another still brings pain although no remembrance for never been in his shoes before and little thoughts shelved waiting to be taken down to tear my world to tatters wait for just a waif like me to start their killing, gentle words sound so soothing sweet but i can still hear hollow ring inside the empty words simply playing syllables like lament my intuition entertaining only this moment falling to pain and furry for the rest of what seems now like an eternity burning handholds to sanity my fingers bloody rare and beat despair from cracked and hardened eyes opaque no feeling after killed before only memory of severed severance nor even a chance of remembrance in that hint of smile sparkle belie something holding a little piece of me though long forgotten fucked now crumpled trashed and without purpose it sits inside pulling me 6 feet under 2001112502tid242

damaged apostate:
out about face turns & looks
but just for a moment
the connection seen
so pure so true inside shines
bearing truth, that horrible truth
seen by this damaged apostate
she can't be god no matter
how hard she makes me try

not only nor single just sound mouthed empty thoughts
reading actions like these truths could almost be transcribed
then late at night studying that slumbering messiah
i realize between said lines that absence blends to comfort

somehow lost all moments sparkle seen passed dead away
trying to find in this new ocean of feeling something i know is gone
but still she lays, sleeping, her breath so much a part of mine
and i wonder resent what life may bring love such easy pain

feeling of cliche':
faces grace by
for an instant
me by their presence

eyes wander here
for an instant
me by my being

people turn away
for an eternity
contentment so far away

uninspired by her own awe
this twisted tongue longs for nicotine
and unbecoming in its own right
this twisted drug longs her tongue


empty chair still warm to touch
this ghost of memory that hurts so much
sad angel hair still spreads like silk
the holy temple devil's ilk.

king-sized phallic
melts soft on flesh
feeds the hungry
their own disease

unmoved yet unjaded the logic machine sits
unappreciative of this souls prostration to its being
so much decaying life spent to birth the beast
incapable of knowing its own creation
a flaw given onto it by the sadness of its makers

untitled: extra bounce in enthusiatic steps spring energy wasted gravity pulls toward inevidable center soul two meet in darkness meet in distance the sun shining between two bodies clothed in their own shadow their own solitude, smiles filicker between vacant lips parting display lined & razor teeth once tinsel to make them kill to make them mine the game plays prays & carnivores circle the light straying from the center such majestic majesty takes presence presidence in this glance & chance & solitude walks away hand in hand everyone's friend fiend everyone 2001121001tid242

light eyes dance like oceans in a broken land
spotted flecks adjoin & bring the whole together
misty deep swirls obscuring faces faced long ago
forgotten reasons reasoned just yesterday

gentle hands cracked & weary ancient true love
touches softly reminding of only itself
adjoining wisdom disunified with beauty seen
eyes sad hot coals flecked true brings the hole apart

missed apathy in atrocious emotions
thoughts given strength that never even should have cared
absolutely no nor anything holy inside
this hand of justice breaking pictures in my head.

heads float in windows
although lofty with delight
weary bones carries, sews
reality awakens, cruel bite

dreams may soar
& smiles pervade
unveil the whore
i let invade

untitled: misplaced adjective crashes insight to the bragging belying dreadful dearth within escaping mouth too crude to cut razor pin pricks drying up my eyes lost lust so quickly fades away like a mind not bent on ignorance did desire ever exist 2001121004tid242

absorbed thought recluse deep inside twisting
mind turns out feelings for but one place
meadow lark chirp snippet slice of solice
can't seem to escape to the world beyond seems
so far nonexistent swallow shallow sacrifice
sects tract consume & lure lay Girard
bringing order to chaos, but lost inside this place

untitled: squawk & squeal lively zeal loves to feel souls to steal bliss unreal can't reveal nor conceal putrid innards spilling outward holes in head break windows to the world spins shakes sways & shivers murderous tongue licking sex delivers thou shalt from evil in shaving grace slides gleams smooth the shutter door closes only to entice the storm cellar black bleak barren cold & empty unused neglects abused people pray in darkness wishing shutters to open up inside burns out storm snuffs flame before it burns the cure so far away the innocent fade to grey content to prey on people eats the shavior pulling those insides out through windowed widowed tube tunnels to the soul to the inner spinning core spills sticky seeds but we'll/will make more for the whore burned out chore begs for more the sticky floor of fate abhor swinging door the shutters close around & i'm inside 2001121101tid242

prose written pedals of filthy words touch Glu deep inside
the brain, glad acceptance opens pupils wide i've died inside
lost & found in symphony measures scales the written rose of sound

pages fly turn & twist of worthless thoughts decry
look at written sickness sorrow of this i then deny.

lovers strut secure chains hang dog collar between breasts split cracked not taped
man runs grinds shears the sheep meek underneath the anatomic steeple
makes no sense oh surround without a center everything falls around no core

untitled: ...contemplating existence thought made to drive driver crazy things frazzle fizzle freeze nerves shaggy wasted space paces boards creak filled with suits cloned to skin the devil behind blue eyes drowning any passion in diamond sea snake bites but life taken not for worth having sadist person weep i've ever seen resenting only reflection of everything i love falls fades fist for not pain lost grey stillness shallow nothing chill aura breath hangs holding life dying in crisp snap vital attack teeth bite through caving crumple mind find unsettled lie believe in something deep inside this void contemplating existence thought made to drive...2001121105tid242

untitled: frosty glass makes opaque a see through meaning to spend more money but visa won't allow stomping any hope of white glass christmas seeing through my shallow fascade 2001121201tid242

small the mouth pleads for food owned only by starvation
just to fit lock takes keys anything meaning it exists
the mastered slave subordinate to the brain
makes shivers & shudders at the thought of itself.

alone in quest consume the moment races thoughts
through blue streaks in heart hardly throws the destination
from the end of time of plight of mind thought still yearns
& produces manufactures a time machine, just wasting its own
flying for the future, it's flying from the past

strange dreams churn red wine like blood hiding
something hidden away & there to stay let albeit at night
when sunshine dies the mind brings back this lust for life

mirage illusion mural speaks of swirly thought i saw
eyes not blinking nor refresh disillusionment contest content
center not inside in the sky emptiness seen between tired stars
forever glaring & betraying while the world sleeps & dreams & wishes
stitches torn re-thread plastic skin through the needle's eye sews
the golem pieces of flesh of thoughts intrude the repeat vocabulary
a million billion hungry voices lamenting that they hear & yet
the stars pictured mural whispy twinkles just to see but
eyes locked in blood will hunger forever mournful.

untitled: freeze the chill heir cower scour rampid rampart departs space left empty without simple sunlight left its glare unfair to stare the boards creak their gentle speak & spry o' sky won't then deny this barren hearth born cold as stone creation such an impossible feat 2001121801tid242

untitled: down to earth feet ground the pilot falls wings aloft let light fire blossoms greed twinkle sprinkle packaged people burning time away cast aside strive though no escape 2002010301tid242

untitled: managed marriage mirage vapor swirls bleary weary things slip from dreams unknowing uncaught spilling from mouth upon lips breath spit spudder like legs life lets listless pollute dead dreams & bring sad contentment to horrible life struts stained strings hold puppets forced to perform sleeving sick fingers pulling feelings deep inside this shallow fascade so swimmy swirly swami swooning something sings losing lament rings hollow heart muffled smirk smith freed fire hot melts not this handshake grabs greedy licking flame forked tongue smells the serpent buried in the cause & our meaning destroys all things great and small 2002010302tid242

struts stand frail female sways like broken dolls arranged to see.
smiles stand frail face stares like bitter thoughts recalled to kill.

soft subtle corners turn
lovers yearn
& rains the day
sad sorry players say
save today
& join the fray
but seldom lost
do lovers pray

untitled: three stomachs growl & grumble bleary eyes drink & tumble comatose fingers in heaven bumble falling sanity within this fumble glory lies twisted truth teeth peak & lurch & leer won't feel clear here lies tear & torn lost control won't forgive the debtors lead into evil by fear of temptation playing sweet music seeps past these ears inside these souls ache to kill growling hunger fixing swimming upon the selfish self & all else slips away but for the triad never even existed 2002010602tid242

untitled: corns ground pieces spread out burning to life eager lips feel life inside their own a fire inside their pain forgiveness within regret without regret within the steeple without the world pulling strings attached catch small man putting holes in people falling burned hot bubbles around dead desires & i want to eat 2002010603tid242

untitled: minds speak through mouths pushing intentions beyond reason laying lying treason betraying that island not a man affects all others left barren by being the masses shout loud clout drowns & downs lofty thoughts of freedom in tonsils of tyranny wants it all, americans just want it all 2002010604tid242

untitled: can't have attraction bleeds time falling away from sword hands analogue misery quantifies this loss felt without a presence empty ache of needs frustration overcomes shallow banks consuming this plain of vacant memory pushes back the tide of holy water carrying burning torment damning the damned & wretched sad lost desire drowned in its swells 2002010605tid242

untitled: snap open & magic pour out spills upon blank page pixel shines through truth to show the center to show the soul so unsatisfied with all inside & the world & its people & it seems as though all remains lost 2002010606tid242

it didn't need to work
you didn't have to win
if only you could see
& rescue me

you didn't want to die
so deep inside this lie
i wish i couldn't be
in misery

the words ring here cliche'
the sickness felt today
locked out without a key
i'm never free

trudge along
plodding brooding
distant song
future looming

falling down
basement falling
distant frown
weakness calling

vacant eyes pale a little more
sickness in the head
wouldn't try to break that sore
like jesus breaking bread

wander snow time is bitter cold
outside in the dark
feeling lost and taste a little old
a land just as stark

wind weeps sorrow tears fall inside
in this house so grim
truth spills from lips long denied
reminding her of him

i wish i could know your perfect white
even though it's flawed
sad and soft the velvet night
dreaming you were god

untitled: free night planned plight waits waifs for ringing words sent through the air like clear glances whisper chances hideous face smiles & sooths sores blistered before for blossomed love forgotten choices shut steel steeple doors lonely tower feigns power without futile following faces undaunted by the broken brick scars mars stars twinkle eye clear lens breaks the sky from falling engels cry & die just to try wet hair surrounds mirrored sugar lines etched AIDS razor cleaves hollow bore through the guarded guards pathways to the heart faltering face bleeds tears into sickness bed bred uneasy sleezy amine head wants wicked engel wings faltering fleeting misshapen mischef inside the skin & the face of future let us in 2002012201tid242

untitled: it gives me nothing i'm mouths away & cannot stay today brings nothing we're worlds apart we cannot start anew, blank eyes mean something deep inside spend & cried, we tried lonely shoulder, so cold to touch, it hurts so much tonight, fades light in darkness, envelops me & all i see denied if only something burned the soul & filled this hole eyes swept away from mine, lost to find and won't remind i fall 2002012401tid242

signs paved a highway
long ago traveled
though just now follow

these words that feel & won't stay
this lost endeavor dabbled
the seed of guilt now swallowed

wishing not for dreams today
lost in space of empty fray
sadness spills from what they'd say
dreams for wishes cursed today

untitled: paving lips urchin red fills pets rooted through that slate seen eye through entourage of cover chameleon changes hue just in you only knew & wouldn't do the mirror speaks mocking finding fault in dress & kiss placed upon the glass, who could ever love you or wnat rancid breath smelled under swell of dark desire tastes like sweat & grime & dirt caked into & inside so long denied pure & cried or died shrivel snivel & waste to choices already past out of grasp & without the light of day. fallen to shadow there is not light 2002020701tid242

untitled: thrown away the zenith stray so far today still rules at the nadir coaster ride & locked inside head denied of just one thought makes a billion pieces seethe shattered sharp the blades cut bone skin & flesh fresh eyes bleed with need they cry & plead though finally freed from this disease aims to please those bloody knees for the eye now sees & holds the keys to locked & leery heart attacks the brain pulls thoughts of longing to forefrontal leftist lobe drives the hands soft & tender upon calloused melody sings softly hymns torn hymen page from spread covers broken black rests rustic forlorned pieces stealing into shutter doors that hold on the floor timid trinity god wants on top 'til isosceles hypotenuse opens in prostration praise to be broken by he, the eye that sees spilling sticky tears of regret into wastebaskets of flesh forgotten like all the moments of vulnerability weak in all his strength, upon cold stone pillows lies spoken only the kiss of memory 2002020702tid242

untitled: yellow bird buzzing bumble bee black strips stripes branded bold gives way to catatonic nothing nurtures nature's nectar sips slides slips life away as wind blows currents rustling sweet williams forgotten amongst the roses poses picture perfect hewn with what may & chicanery changes everything & nothing as happy faces stand face & flourish forgotten yellow suns tiny & forlorned under phallic tulip tickles taints but never touches this world of speed in this life of standstill holding the moment skittering through time turns suns burned under soil less opaque than this feeling falling to worthless moments can't be the birds falling gods Ruf magic dead from the sky sight & mind extending whispy tendrils of what may but always comes to pass stealing lofty wings & sickness brings another chance of sweet romance with my disease, with my disease 2002022001tid242

untitled: black waters cold yet crude swirl relentless thoughts of memories reflecting bitter places & people filled by recollection distanced through hazy eyes grasping feeble strawspoking prodding & pulling people living only on the outside deeper into the hole of this time & place just deja vu a million lives before hewn & shocked skinned & fucked away pulled forever smother drowned only to find itself washed ashore nor memory of black attack deck stack fallen back wake sun shines hot burn work & sweat build it up inside hollow walls of friends & flesh pressed inside rack vise of time before the waters come swelling torrent inexorable draws & drowns sweeping sleeping minds fickle life away losing heavy currents draw flaw & overcome every empire built in fear inside the vise strong snap sinew & resolve racked where waits for waters clouded eyes & disillusion of clarity, waits for magic dark & stark impossible invincible unsatiable & a million + one empires fall to failure & the vise twists ever tighter, the rack pulls ever unforgiving 2002022002tid242

untitled: there exists no fame further from said truth selling lies it becomes becoming something seen yet not forseen as in object covet want through eyes that flaunt through windows thought shines lovers caught in acts that ought not told but more telling that all the slippery tongues hath traveled hard avenues of expression coursing salt owned only by no one yet everyone, the gift of life such a futile jester gesture given caucasian elephants but only a dying seed & falling need of saving creed or darkest deed seen through mead & tried to pleaad beg mind patch scratch claw bite razxor's silk sweet sooth & smooth coax alabi sustenance lie won't let it cry or dye yet neither try it sits vacant empty alone the prison of air & space & light revealing only a world resounding without a view nor soul that knew though children grew hasty weathered withered floundered in folly the gift squanders the curse squanders the gift egotist fame fills X empty cups with jester's hate filled lines on empty slate breaks pumice cleans to the bone & core wasting time, just wasting time 2002022601tid242

untitled: man so flawed needs & craves in dark nights & hidden plights battle, libido, testosterone, adrenalin falling polluted to adenosine & tyrosine running positive circles spiral out of control all the brawn & biggotry useless as their girth eats its own & falls to stone weathered to nothing the bed posts forget even the name long after the interest extinct & man is nothing but rent in the dirt 2002022602tid242

i could save you
i could love you
i would covet nothing
in sleep with you

i could be happy
i could be sad
i would do it all
only bid by you

i would give it all
or let it fall
to worship you
you only need to ask
you only need but ask

a man once said
what another man told him

a woman once did
what another man wanted

shoes once fit
another man's life

and generations doomed
only live the past
in another man's seed

enchanted mind
salvation lies through alcohol

less important
life slips away

yet they dance
they'd never care

pulls & swirls the feeling of nothing
so easy to fall where fallen before
so easy to feel what felt before
too easy to do which done before
it calls from whisper to a scream
from a sickness to a dream
it, unrelenting, yet unforsaking
the only thing real or true
during this flame burning through
cord drowning in the wax
and burning hope to ashes
felling the promise to smoke

untitled: many times lost flow follows swallows tremble moments meaningless apart from apathetic head swirls in guilt sewn hilt tilts table turn tip spills inside red blood sweet licks & wines dines & finds fond insides just dying for but a taste breathen breatheeen silken offer studders & stammers not upon rehersed lips but in the twisting & twisted convoluted ears bleeding bearing tunnels through tracts tainted thought & draught sipped like mind laps without the hope nor fear of any new day shines light bringing ruby glass empty head swirls come the morn like all the others floating down sad & sorrow begets all the faces seen forlorned & empty weary sorry filled with a thousand thoughts turn to rust & dust & nothing in the end no longer pretend or mend no friend would send sorry sientient down the river apart but to see muddy banks across the blood spilled from diamond stems sharp & cold dead like roses in the cold of autumn chill creezes the flesh falling through the time trickles burbles & burns by only its passing, if only it could feel though it holds only pain & fear & tears& lost in its relentless consumption of all a million lives & thoughts & dreams long since thrown away by worthless waifs & hardly hardy eyes hearting thoughts leaked through tainted eyes try to despise the river & blood & cum & piss made of sad so many tears & years of fears built & sears pain burn bliss cool consumes & lost for drown bubble sinks falling through the magic which seems to carry on but lost its song, and we all just float dead head beats nothing but rythems of the end trapped in the now & we sail, down the river lost amongst all the time we never even had 2002030401tid242

untitled: apart from times & touch trickle tears hurts so much i can't know nor seem to speak heart nor fear speaks admonitions seeping from the core long tainted by deamon's grip i've tried to slip & lose & fall away be lost today yet somehow like god or sex sane with sin the whole wreaks of chaos & sucks me into this place i've never been nor wish upon even the hands soft to the touch flesh pulling & slipsliding gathering me up goes down on a tool never intentioned to be used to taint & reap save & keep feeling locked inside learned limbic memory gathers hate & greed & jealousy wrought & ringing heaven singing only felt it down inside the underhands & understands this need only she could create or breed or kill though sweet refusal her alibi & decry thou deny & fly away far far away the angels beg for company amongst clouds out of reac on pulpits preach the souls of each just a fiery fairy tail no words could or cold bitter enough to make them ever die, the dreams are god 2002030402tid242

untitled: lost listless loan away boredom creep of light decay sadness slept apartheid fray truth the devil's soul today sly and sentient teeth of red sew the bed with sickness fed to meek and timid owned to spread ripe seeds enslaved in broken bread lost now weary kindled child sex draws dreary breath defiled sight not seeing hungry eyes closed to blunders live not lies so grows the silky stalk adorned of blood and sad disease pearl legs of heaven mock the razor's tongue will hear no pleas 2002031701tid242

untitled: voices talk jibber jabber carving knives right through flesh & skin prick tickles tears from cutting eyes cleave through the soul lost its toll & trolls for lovers who smile eyes closed but happy in darkness in their blight & plight flight unrealized despised reprised surmized mind jumps at nothing comatose twitch feelings pang pulls insides toward hurting words falling apart carries whispy whisps of feeling on lighted words toward the sky in violence & we hate & thirst for something please just something a taste or trickle tears walls down blocking all walks of life upon blood-stained stairs falter in fate already spent as children play upon the memory sewing fate into the new & so quickly the forget & regret & beset their seed with the sickness & born of bloodshed & misery & desperation the wounds aren't born to heal for closure is the end, your voice breathed past my lips spells only the end 2002031901tid242

in failure, and in silence, darkness
holy idle idol breathes quiet
eyes closed tranquel a piece/peace i cannot have
i watch quiet rain spills over
gutters furrows & hills of a twisted land
hills roll like feelings carved hollow inside
gentle words poisoning the trees
and the flowers
wonder why & cry lost in the rain
shed everything but gloom & dread
& fog descends masking cold damp chill
alone, alone
yet still she lays, unmoved
untouched by the storm within
i cannot touch
she cannot feel
breath, rythem, peace, happiness,
contentment, certainty, slavery
the ease of slavery
of servitude
no love in sentience
no love...
no love in darkness, though felt
in silence it's felt
it's cold
it's empty
it's dead
the smile that never was

untitled: reach out hand grasp smoke air breathed refresh contest the game, the game, try & play pray serve service & sell souls with glancing chances on a limb daggerboard cuts currents drift away from the wind, the light, the love inter-ested contested intrinsic & the world dies but one most of all i let it fall & wither & die, cry i don't even try, winner loser, game chaos, order disrecorder fucking inside & the feeling dies & blossom flotsam juniper jaded, the feeling dies 2002031903tid242

untitled: sometimes something like nothing glimmer glimpse seen with dying parts of dying wholes falling to blades inside the grass burned by barrel of butane breaks the silence into ozone catalyzing chaos in sweet smell of burned out violence lending peace in indifference knows only the sun & the light & life unaware the underside pulls the roots back to sleek & slide to the cause & the core darker than the deepest eyes absorbed in absorption of thoughts pulling forever inside all light & lies & alibis i've heard it all before inside the core speaks with words much softer, love much deeper, the fear, much greater peaks fall to valleys much darker, the cliffs much steeper & it pulls me down & sucking me in, just servant slavery to the cause & its whims of weakness leak & escape clenched bruxist teeth though buried deep in man-made keep the touch in darkness & in stillness i reap & steal away before the day it's all i have the feelings dying and i can't hold on 2002031904tid242

untitled: so sick and beautiful too easy to mistake the two icy skeleton fingers clutch to life the spark of knot entwined but drowning bitterness with greed and need i plead inside so empty denied despite i tried, i tried, i wish i dream i seethe and scream desire in lowly poor creep steeped in stammering strictest laws of whimsical nature blows thoughts through strange rooms worship unfamiliar beds offer alter reality upon the pedestal of the divine whisper and warm breath across bare and tremble skin sheds feelings like cold beads of sweat gracing weary wishing wander again come tomorrow i'll be your prophet i'll be your god and seed in need filling greed and wonder_lust skips beat in sympathetic flutter under stale breath we mutter up the spinal door we shudder agape we stutter stammer in brainless clamor twisted thoughts like legs and bodies writhe grappling mental tourniquets cut deep the disconnect killing little parts of me i see withered hardened eyes constricted pupils like hungry mu finally satisfied as we fall down the trampled path to the end we pretend invincible godlike touched only in this moment warm shake in vulnerability understand, understand then bland and cold and dead and stale i leave the alter offering promises of lush greek olives laying bare yet ripe for nitpicking a thousand reasons not to stay regret to play for you i'll pray afore forgotten just one more virgin whore i'd like to think marijuana ethyl alcohol formaldehyde molecule locks actions to the ground beyond sentience nor conscious control, i'd like to think used abused and misused by tainted tendrils of heathen medusa hair, i'd like to think a million things, the mirror, in the end, concrete cold and naked standing looking sorrow's broken flesh, just me, just me, in the end it's all i see 2002032201tid242

untitled: compulsion rules & breaks resolve set in steel & gold glimmers prisms distorting the light in all their plight waging war against the master cruel caster sinking faster once the voice is drowned of reason self-deluted treason seasons turn to blossom time lapsed to the death of fall lays bare to winter cold in crisp merciless its touch corners the soul the voice in desperation pleads for spring & flowers showers fragrant pheromone in bleak despair its sound seems of reason though aforementioned treason & treachery tryst that brings only brown crumpling leaves & greaves for remembered grievences slurred & soft crashing spins the static though once ecstatic & fantastic now made of plastic the fake & weary faces thought to smile afore the eyes in memory brings not forth this suffering & agony of suffrage in totalitarian feelings that give it all to take away to fall away leaving ht sun & the smiles lest memories far behind but tattooed upon frozen flesh just so far out of reach, and in another day compulsion is still king 2002032401tid242

untitled: spend life forever forget even memory or similarity in prodigy lives autonomously only desiring to forget the failure that give to life only relentless & meaningless & purposeless its pain in only indifference without regard to speaches spending thoughts on stupid people unworthy in fallible folly of the gift of the only intrinsic mind unable still to grasp or gasp of reason why, and why are we standing thinking & suffering for a cause so destined to make sorry its own existence 2002032402tid242

untitled: what creature could, lurking outside my door beyond sight against the hard against the cold. try but waste not, laughing this mirth far beyond my reach in the great above, the great below. cruel kingdom, lords speak of money lost already slipping once said the withered lush and tyrant, speaks in purse, window to the future slashed slot sucker punch steals un gusto e libro viagra strips naked the withered core of flesh worth only a name in a time when accounts are held & hewn by warriors of the day laying waste the creatures of tomorrow whimper and despair drinking pools elephant steps lost child cries inside in solemnities for the wretched languish at ringside a slave to existence under the yolk of choice chance and uncertainty he makes his own, he with the hidden disillusion peaking through his slots sucking in the world drown in money yet quibbled and dabbled from the hands eyes and life of the weak by strength encoded in monster genes blessing tainting and killing the few whose pools lay the dead of life in crowded smoky rooms ringing with the chant of war and a cause worthy of losing only choosing some may smile come end the day but solid brawn will always play games that chase pure chance away to solid ground we pray and bishop secure he shall not stray come what may, though breaks today spinning circles into the hands of the powerful and the vain the weak and plain forage on fields below Olympus, mons content to breed, to love, and die, such easy future given by their fathers and mothers nurture only in his image remember smile and frown the family porch and pass the torch to new disease that wants to spawn, the elephant pays, no heed and passes on 2002032601tid242

untitled: snow brisk winter spells seasons spill slow grind turn circles cycles yet who would ever change?-dreary blurrrr passes years lasting but moments in memory i'd think not to care just victory of failure complete irrelevant & independent of all the tears that fall & horrible people killing smiles & stealing hopes or fears flying neigh to crashing looming yet imminent sorrow stricken & barren plains stifle muffled cries of anguish seeking empathetic despair yet it grinds rocks to dust & life away turning circles inside circles the tears, hopes, fears & dying years lie forgotten like a million before death, death & time doesn't care 2002040201tid242

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