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20020322 - Children's caterpillar book
[pic - caterpillar with a cartoonish look on face, sitting on some plants and shit eating some leaves]
[bubble - hey!-i'm a caterpillar, and i like to eat!]
Gilbert is a caterpillar. And likes to eat.
[pic - white egg on a leaf with 3 aphids next to it talking with a ladybug approaching in the background]
aphid_1: "holy shit dude, look at the size of this thing!-what the fuck is it?"
aphid_2: "hey!-isn't this where those butterflies were goin' down on each other last week?"
aphid_3: "no idea, but it sure looks-HOLY FUCK!-A LADYBUG!!!-LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE, RUN AWAY.....RUN AWAY!"
Gilbert came from a butterfly egg which had sat upon a leaf for a very long time.
[pic - egg in forefront ladybug eating an aphid in the background, the same 3 aphids are watching the 4th aphid get eaten one of them notices gilbert hatching]
aphid_being_eaten: "AHHHHHH.....SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M DYING, FUCKING SHIT-IT HURTS AHHHHHH..."
ladybug: "man i wish this little shit would shut up, i'm gonna' have to eat the next one head-first or not at all"
aphid_1: "dude look!-Harold's being voraciously devoured by BigBertha" (pointing).
Aphid_2: "fucking-A he is, goddamn that's annoying, wish he's shut the hell up and take it like a man..."
Aphid_3: "better that annoying fool than us, hey look!-a big penis-looking thing is coming out of that big white thing!" (pointing).
Gilbert: "Get me the out of this egg, i'm so clusterphobic!"
finally Gilbert was free of the silky confines.
[pic - Gilbert still partially in egg starting to eat the leaf the egg's attached to, 3 aphids in the background]
aphid_1: "you guys think it's dangerous?"
aphid_2: "i'm not sure, why is it eating our bathroom-part of the leaf?"
aphid_3: "that's pretty damn fucking gross if you ask me, honestly who the hell eats a toilet?"
Gilbert: "this leaf tastes good!"
...and immediately began to eat.
[pic - Gilbert has moved to an adjacent stalk and eaten several of the leaves, the 3 aphids are standing on their original leaf, which has been heavily eaten in the distant background the ladybug is devouring a swarm of aphids on a different plant.]
aphid_1: "wow, that penis-thing sure can eat!"
aphid_2: "no shit, look what it did to our leaf, and he's still going strong."
aphid_3: "just as long as it stays the hell away from us, wonder where BigBertha is..."
and kept eating...